Intelligence / Social Skills / Both / Neither??

Page 1 of 3 [ 33 posts ]  Go to page 1, 2, 3  Next

Simonono
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 25 Oct 2010
Age: 31
Gender: Male
Posts: 3,299

26 Mar 2011, 7:32 am

It seems to me that the case with a lot of Aspies is that they are insanely smart instead of having social skills, some are incredibly lucky and have both, NT's have Social Skills instead, and some of them also have both. I on the other hand feel as if I have neither. So I struggle very hard socially, but have no incredible 'Einstein-yness' to make up for it, except for having a good morale and kindness (I don't know, on here I could seem not so nice to some people but, IRL, I assure you I'm very kind). :)

This isn't a great big downer thread on myself, I'm glad about what I have that is good about me :), I'm just wondering if anyone else feels the same. Basically, "I don't have any social skills, so why don't I have amazing intelligence to make up for it like other people do?"



gnatterfly
Snowy Owl
Snowy Owl

User avatar

Joined: 13 Sep 2009
Age: 37
Gender: Female
Posts: 166

26 Mar 2011, 7:35 am

I love your signature! LOL :lol: Jingle All the Way is CLASSIC!! !


_________________
Tonight you can't put me up on any shelf
Because I came here alone and I'm gonna leave by myself!


XLCR
Snowy Owl
Snowy Owl

User avatar

Joined: 22 Mar 2011
Age: 69
Gender: Male
Posts: 130

26 Mar 2011, 11:47 am

"In the country of the blind, the one-eyed man is King"


Just wanted to let you know that I am one of the gifted ones, but don't forget that the gifts come with a curse. Yes, I feel lucky compared to many here that are worse off than myself and have nothing to compensate. But back in RL I'm still a freak with no social skills and little hope of ever having a love life. I'm still no more than a one-eyed man to them.



ocdgirl123
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 10 Oct 2010
Age: 29
Gender: Female
Posts: 2,809
Location: Canada

26 Mar 2011, 1:14 pm

I'm not incredible smart (My IQ is around 115) and I don't have really good social skills either. I have neither too.


_________________
-Allie

Canadian, young adult, student demisexual-heteroromantic, cisgender female, autistic


daydreamer84
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 8 Jul 2009
Age: 40
Gender: Female
Posts: 5,001
Location: My own little world

26 Mar 2011, 10:47 pm

meeeeeee! No Einstein but completely socially inept! You are not alone!



bee33
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 19 Apr 2008
Age: 60
Gender: Female
Posts: 3,862

26 Mar 2011, 10:59 pm

I have some intelligence but nothing out of the ordinary, and I have some social skills but generally they are rather poor. So I have a bit of one and a bit of the other, but still I don't have enough of either to get me either a career or a social life.



auntblabby
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 12 Feb 2010
Gender: Male
Posts: 114,574
Location: the island of defective toy santas

26 Mar 2011, 11:03 pm

i cast my lot with all of you. i have neither also.



Apple_in_my_Eye
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 7 May 2008
Gender: Male
Posts: 4,420
Location: in my brain

26 Mar 2011, 11:45 pm

I used to have the stereotypical set of techie/computer-y skills, but those went away, so I don't get to argue about being useful that way, anymore: "I'm weird but really good with computers, so I'm not totally worthle... oh wait, I can't do that stuff anymore, nevermind. What? No, you cannot harvest my organs for more 'useful' people."

I think the genius stereotype is exaggerated, though. I think that the way that society works leaves people with no other way to think of themselves as having value, so it's that argument or nothing (so, the "genius == worthwhile to the world" argument is all we ever hear).



anbuend
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 5 Jul 2004
Age: 44
Gender: Female
Posts: 5,039

26 Mar 2011, 11:54 pm

I was considered gifted as a young kid, but everyone else caught up and I didn't keep up with them, so I've never tested that way since. (I blame it on being hyperlexic and able to read at an age where most kids can't, when I was tested.) I don't know what intelligence is, but I lack the ability to be abstract for very long, if that's what people mean by it. I can't hold a lot of ideas in my head at once. And I'm certainly socially inept. But my autism-related problems (which go way beyond social issues, into a lot of self-care issues and difficulty understanding the world) are such that I'm not sure any amount of what most people call intelligence, would help me do much better than I do now.


_________________
"In my world it's a place of patterns and feel. In my world it's a haven for what is real. It's my world, nobody can steal it, but people like me, we live in the shadows." -Donna Williams


lambrisprime
Hummingbird
Hummingbird

User avatar

Joined: 2 Oct 2010
Age: 36
Gender: Male
Posts: 21

27 Mar 2011, 12:13 am

Some people have told me that I'm a pretty intelligent guy or at least above average but this is usually after an exchange centered around things that I've taken an interest in. Outside of my areas of interest I usually perform quite poorly; and what is intelligence but the concept of a generalized capacity to excel. I've actually found my ability to understand/perform various things to be decreasing with time; I'm not sure if this has something to do with AS in general, depression or an increase in responsibility/stress but there is certainly some sort of downward trend taking place.

I don’t really have any social prowess to compensate for any of the deficits in the intelligence department either. I find my conversational skills, including vocal control and physical gesturing to be pretty crude. Everything I attempt in communication feels forced and this isn’t lost on my audience who have difficulty maintaining interest in what I have to say; which I really can’t blame them because I’m usually so anxious about my social ineptness that ill often comment on something obvious in order to break the silence. The lack of animation and creativity in my ability to communicate are something that I face every day, as I work in customer service; so, this lacking something to counter balance my deficits is something that I totally relate to, as I think about it often.



nick007
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 4 May 2010
Gender: Male
Posts: 27,656
Location: was Louisiana but now Vermont in capitalistic military dictatorship called USA

27 Mar 2011, 12:51 am

I have very bad social skills & I can be very unintelligent as well sometimes


_________________
"I don't have an anger problem, I have an idiot problem!"
~King Of The Hill


"Hear all, trust nothing"
~Ferengi Rule Of Acquisition #190
https://memory-alpha.fandom.com/wiki/Ru ... cquisition


SammichEater
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 6 Mar 2011
Age: 30
Gender: Male
Posts: 3,903

27 Mar 2011, 1:15 am

I remember being told I was a genius all the time when I was younger, but I really don't think I am. Everything I say or do is thoroughly planned out, I spend a lot of time thinking about things. I have come to notice that not everyone does this. Most people believe what they are told, and do not process the information or question it. I don't think I have some special intelligence that most people do not, I think I just use what I have more than the average person.

Then again, sometimes it just blows my mind how unbelievably stupid people can be. I just don't understand how people don't understand the simplest of things. Go ahead and call it egotistical sublime, but it is true.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that while I am surrounded by people everyday that are extremely dumb, I really don't think I'm the next Einstein by any means.

Maybe I really am that intelligent, and I'm just downplaying it, honestly I have no idea. At the same time, I can't help but think that I'm just full of myself, and I really do have average intelligence. I probably look like a basket case writing this, but it's true. There is no easy way to know if someone is gifted or not.



Last edited by SammichEater on 27 Mar 2011, 1:32 am, edited 1 time in total.

astaut
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 2 Sep 2009
Age: 33
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,777
Location: Southeast US

27 Mar 2011, 1:31 am

I have decent social skills and average intelligence. If it was different I probably wouldn't like it, but I wish I excelled at one or the other (intelligence is what I would rather be known for).


_________________
After a time, you may find that having is not so pleasing a thing, after all, as wanting. It is not logical, but it is often true.
--Spock


XLCR
Snowy Owl
Snowy Owl

User avatar

Joined: 22 Mar 2011
Age: 69
Gender: Male
Posts: 130

27 Mar 2011, 12:13 pm

The problem is, what is intelligence. People think I'm smart because I can real off reams of data, and because I'm not an idiot I can actually interpret that data. But I don't think my actual thinking process is anything special. I notice that many NTs seem to be able to figure things out faster than I can, and some of them are what I call clever, usually con artists. My rule is, if they are talking too fast for me to interpret they are probably trying to get over on me, and I walk away.

So I think I'm more like a old, slow, out-of-date computer that someone put a huge new hard drive in. I take issue with the concept that intelligence is just a compendium of data. The actually thinking process has to count for something.



OJani
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 23 Feb 2011
Age: 51
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,505
Location: Hungary

27 Mar 2011, 3:29 pm

About my intelligence, it's not particularly high, but higher in some ways than the average. I can understand ideas others not. My social skills are rather poor. I struggle with narrative. Most of the time I can't uderstand social interactions and feel somewhat drained by them others deal with ease. I always thought that if I had better memory (capacity and reliability), faster thinking, it would have classified me for a carrier in sciences. My memory and speed of thinking is average at best.

Despite I feel and always felt the urge to cope with my life independently, I just can not do that without significant help from friends and my parents, thus I'm not independent in my life.


_________________
Another non-English speaking - DX'd at age 38
"Aut viam inveniam aut faciam." (Hannibal) - Latin for "I'll either find a way or make one."


Zen
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 10 Nov 2010
Age: 48
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,868

27 Mar 2011, 3:37 pm

I tested high on IQ tests when I was in school, and I did well in school. However, none of that seems to mean anything in the real world. I am totally lacking in social skills, I have difficulty communicating, and I really don't feel any more than average intelligence. There are some threads in this forum that go way over my head. :lol: