Peko wrote:
another friend who is also Jewish (C) asked B to not say anything about what I said b/c our friends (others & A) like to cause stupid drama (like highschool kids
).
That part is key, they know about what was said now and it probably bugs them a bit. But they are smart enough to realize that those kind of people are like fire, that fire needs to be fed attention/confrontation fuel or it dies out. A and co probably love the reactions, so B and C are choosing to just not feed into it.
As to whether telling them was the wrong thing, it was a judgment call, I wouldn't say it was either wrong or right. It's good that B and C are smart enough not to rise to it, if they hadn't been it could have blown up - so that could have been a possible downside to telling them. However if A were really serious about this. I mean if there is a deeper dislike and this wasn't just an isolated joke, then it may turn out to be good for B and C to know about it. Once we know someone is like that we tend to be a bit careful around them in case of betrayal. I wouldn't say what you did was wrong, but those kind of situations have the potential to go very wrong and can be very delicate. I've been in a few of those myself and it's tough, sometimes you have to weigh the risk of drama against the possibility that a friend could get hurt further down the line because they trusted someone you knew they should be a bit more cautious around.