Not sure if I should have kept my mouth shut?

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Peko
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27 Mar 2011, 3:16 pm

Long story short, I went to see my roomate's puppy earlier today & a few of our other friends were over as well. 1-2 of them started complaining about our one friend the one guy I know (A) started comparing this other friend to a nazi (B). Friend B is Jewish and after I left I ended up telling him about this... another friend who is also Jewish (C) asked B to not say anything about what I said b/c our friends (others & A) like to cause stupid drama (like highschool kids :roll:). My group of friends are generally very relaxed and the guys I know who are Jewish (B&C) are typically the most relaxed about the Jew jokes. But I felt this situation was crossing the line. I tried to tell my friend A that comparing someone (especially a Jewish person) to a nazi is wrong but I'm not sure if I should have kept my mouth shut when it came to telling the B about the conversation?


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Avengilante
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27 Mar 2011, 3:32 pm

Wow. Isn't it sad to think that enough time has passed already that even young Jewish men no longer have any real sense of the horrors and atrocities represented by the memory of the National Socialist Party? They say those who do not learn from history are doomed to repeat it.


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Peko
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27 Mar 2011, 3:43 pm

Avengilante wrote:
Wow. Isn't it sad to think that enough time has passed already that even young Jewish men no longer have any real sense of the horrors and atrocities represented by the memory of the National Socialist Party? They say those who do not learn from history are doomed to repeat it.


My Jewish friends understand the horrors you are referring too but they live by the philosophy that if you can't make fun of yourself, you can't really live or have the right to comment on others. (I actually feel this idea is great b/c it helps you recognize things w/o allowing yourself to be overwhelmed) The person who made the nazi comment is not Jewish.


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29 Mar 2011, 2:39 pm

Depends, were they joking? were they even talking about the general jewish public? or were talking about zionist jews?

Cause if they were talking about zionist jews and had very strong opinions. Cause I have a pro-Israel friend and a Arab friend whom can get pretty excited in their debates.....sounds very similar to something the Arab friend would say to the pro-Israel friend about the deeds of Zionists.



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30 Mar 2011, 9:29 am

Peko wrote:
another friend who is also Jewish (C) asked B to not say anything about what I said b/c our friends (others & A) like to cause stupid drama (like highschool kids :roll:).

That part is key, they know about what was said now and it probably bugs them a bit. But they are smart enough to realize that those kind of people are like fire, that fire needs to be fed attention/confrontation fuel or it dies out. A and co probably love the reactions, so B and C are choosing to just not feed into it.

As to whether telling them was the wrong thing, it was a judgment call, I wouldn't say it was either wrong or right. It's good that B and C are smart enough not to rise to it, if they hadn't been it could have blown up - so that could have been a possible downside to telling them. However if A were really serious about this. I mean if there is a deeper dislike and this wasn't just an isolated joke, then it may turn out to be good for B and C to know about it. Once we know someone is like that we tend to be a bit careful around them in case of betrayal. I wouldn't say what you did was wrong, but those kind of situations have the potential to go very wrong and can be very delicate. I've been in a few of those myself and it's tough, sometimes you have to weigh the risk of drama against the possibility that a friend could get hurt further down the line because they trusted someone you knew they should be a bit more cautious around.



Andie09
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30 Mar 2011, 9:31 am

From my experience, I've find it best to stay quiet. I get into similar situations a lot, wondering if I should speak my mind or keep my mouth shut. I feel guilty staying quiet because I feel that I'm agreeing with something I find to be wrong. But, more times than not, when I say what I think I usually face confrontation and have to deal with more drama that I bargained for. A lot of times I'll misinterpret what the speaker is saying or get my feelings hurt when all the negative attention is turned on me. If you want to speak your mind, just be willing to face the confrontation. If you're unable to handle it, like myself, its probably best to keep your opinions to yourself



Peko
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01 Apr 2011, 6:58 pm

Infoseeker wrote:
Depends, were they joking? were they even talking about the general jewish public? or were talking about zionist jews?

Cause if they were talking about zionist jews and had very strong opinions. Cause I have a pro-Israel friend and a Arab friend whom can get pretty excited in their debates.....sounds very similar to something the Arab friend would say to the pro-Israel friend about the deeds of Zionists.


It's almost impossible to tell when the guy who made the nazi comment (A) is joking. Even my NT friends can't tell. He was referring to a specific Jewish individual who is has never done anything that makes me think he is a zionist.


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kraken
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06 Apr 2011, 10:30 pm

Did your friends care? If they don't care, why do you? Is it important enough to you to alter your relationship with this person if he continues to make jokes you don't like?



rocknrollslc
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07 Apr 2011, 6:41 pm

nothin wrong with making fun of yourself, anything can be funny in the right light.... i agree with you though - that's definitely crossing the line