How do you "fake it?"

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While reading a site (that was linked here) about "becoming more autistic" it mention burn out and putting on a facade etc. You "fake it" to get through a job or gathering etc. So this got me to thinking how do some of you "fake it?" Any tips? (I know everyone's experience is different I was just curious.) I "fake it" by letting negative comments bounce off me the past two days a comment that might have sent me into a crying meltdown I blew it off or laughed. Trying NOT to have a crying meltdown was hard since I usually let harsh comments/rude things really get to me and drive me automatically to tears. Hopefully this new found happiness/understanding of myself will help me cope with my family more. I admit it IS hard though going from "Meltdown" to not letting comments get to me.

I don't.

I have a feeling that many people who claim to fake not being autistic are not doing it very well and just don't realize it. Things like eye contact can be faked by looking at foreheads but many other things just can't be faked, at least more than on a very superficial level.

It took me a long time to realize that while I thought I was faking it, people were shaking their heads and calling me weird; mostly behind my back. It is impossible to fake it. Nowadays, I don't really care, either.

Everyone fakes it.

NTs are just better at it.

I "fake it" by going into overdrive to appear to understand and use more language than I can actually understand most of the time. For me, using/understand language and ideas/concepts is exactly the same kind of struggle that people who "pretend to be normal" in other ways do. My natural cognition is so far off from it that many people wouldn't recognize it as cognition.

I mostly match responses to what people are saying. I liked one description of the process as choosing responses from a database using context-driven drop down menus.

This system means that if a conversation is completely unexpected, I start matching phrases to what I'm hearing without really thinking about what the conversation is about and may agree to something I wouldn't otherwise agree to, or disagree similarly, although I try to aim for more noncommittal responses until my brain catches up, which sometimes it never does.

This doesn't actually hold up for much time at all. I think Rudy Simone said she can keep it up for 20 minutes, but I think I manage 5. If the conversation doesn't get interesting, my ability to participate goes away.

Fortunately once topics relevant to my interests come up, I can go longer, sometimes without monologues (although I only learned to stop doing that within the past ten years, and I still do it anyway).

I am not sure that I pass as normal, and I think people take me as weird or hyperactive or whatever. I doubt most peg me as autistic, although I think if they had an idea of what to look for, they'd do so easily.

I ask a few questions about things that interest other people and get them talking while I listen and validate their feelings and positions as normal and understandable.

And I am bored to tears by it, find it very trying and draining. They still find me weird, but really they crave the acceptance more than they fear the weird.

The only thing I fake is interest in the conversation topic. 95% of the time, I do not care at all.

Well, honestly, I often do not bother faking it. When I'm in an environment that involves prolonged exposure to individuals, I'll more or less act true to self in that situation (IE: Just stay vewwy vewwy quiet), because trying to put on a facade for that long is insanely difficult (although I will almost always try and be slightly social during those interactions, because quiet for a long period of time makes me feel very weird/anxious.). However, if I'm just checking out of a store or whatever and I don't have to interact for that long, it's just easier to "suck it up" and try and act social. Basically, I'll ask "how are you", talk about the weather, use eye contact and a lot of the time, shake hands with them when I'm done.

I keep topics that each person i know likes to talk at about, try to bring them up in a different order each time. Generally try to keep people talking about themselves or whatever they are interested in. Standardized questions and answers for small talk conversations, a complicated set of rules for group conversation. One of the hardest thing for me is not recoiling if someone touches me.

My faking only extends as far as words, not eye contact or facial expressions or body language.

One thing I often do is ask people to talk about themselves. Most comply.

Research appropriate behaviors and try to emulate them as much as possible, like a checklist, and stick to the script. Do not show frustration.

The more predictable the situation the easier it is to think of possible events and prepare for them.

When it's necessary, I watch YouTube videos.

I can pretend well enough to convince people at least somewhat in some situations. For example, this would be what I was thinking during a job interview:

Walk as smoothly as possible, trying not to "bounce" and to walk exactly the same speed as other people, staying almost up to speed with whoever you're walking by to stay just slightly behind them but almost next to them. Swing your arms more when you walk. Don't put your hands in your pockets. Say "Nice to meet you." Reach out to shake hands before they do. Put your palm up so their hand is on top. Firm handshake unless the interviewer is a woman in which case less firm handshake. Let them sit down first. Don't cross your arms or your legs. Keep your arms and legs somewhat far apart. Sit up straight with your legs apart. Try to smile. Look them in the eye. Shake your head. Answer their questions. Keep answers short. Don't ramble. When you are answering a question, make gestures. You can look at your hands while answering, but look back near the end of each answer. This helps to break eye contact occasionally but to make it seem normal. Ask them questions. That makes you seem interested in what they're saying. What will be my primary responsibilities in this job? How long have you worked here? How would you describe the company and what it's like to work here? What are the hours for this position? Are they consistent, or do they change? What are you looking for most for candidates for this position? I understand <something I've looked up about the company and a question based on that>? What benefits are available with this position? (if they ask for clarification) "Medical, dental, retirement, things like that?" (after they respond) "Alright, that sounds great. This sounds like a good position, and I'm very interested." Let them say whatever they will say next. When they get up to show you out, extend your hand one more time with the palm up, and say "Alright, thanks very much. I hope to hear from you soon." "Thanks very much." Walk away at the same pace you walked in, trying to walk as normally as possible(assuming that you can do that).

One thing which seems to be good is if you can remember to say "Hi" correctly in the mornings. I can barely do this. I can usually respond, but don't remember to initiate, and aside from my family members I have very very much trouble addressing people in person by their names.

It is exhausting to remember so many rules and try to follow them at the appropriate times. Especially when there are sensory things and other distractions.