Aspies sleeping with partner(Sleep not sex)

Post Reply New Topic

I have a question for you guys.. I recently got married to this girl and she knew i was slightly(really) off from normal people, I told her when we met that I wasn't as everyone else and she was accepting of it.

Anyway the question I just want to see a yes or no or sometimes for this question if you sleep with your partner all night in bed. Not sex but just sleeping..

I have issues with small noises and i cant sleep with my partner because she makes noises in her sleep that she cant control and i cant get over..

I'm a woman but have a similar problem - I'm bothered by noises and I don't like being touched when I sleep. So we bought a very large bed, each of has their own blanket and I wear ear plugs at night

I tried the ear plugs but it didn't seem to work.. What ones did you get? I got them foamy ones.. I also tried headphones while sleeping i couldn't stand the headphones being on though.. and the noise in my ear while sleeping.

I remember when I was with my recent ex. When it got cold towards fall and winter, she'd smother herself with blankets. It would mean I had no blanket, and her covers would be smothering me. That would drive me crazy. Also she had one of those memory foam mattresses, so it would be too soft for me and I felt I'd sink in and have no support. She never really moved around much, and the only noise she'd make that I notice would be if she'd pass gas in her sleep. I'm sure I did the same, but I never noticed it of course.

Sleeping in the same bed with her, she noticed I had a mild sleep apnea, so because of her I was made aware of this.

The ex before her I only slept in her bed a few times, but she never bothered me. She kept away from me because she needed her space. I don't mind sleeping close together, but not so close that moving around is almost impossible without waking the other person.

I don't live with my bf, but when I spend the night at his place we do sleep in the same bed, usually lying very close together.

I detected his sleep apnea this way and encouraged him to go to a sleep lab. Good thing he did--he was barely getting any oxygen. A nose operation cleared up most of that.

love is a desire for shared sleep.

But I hate MK.

I used to sleep with my ex in the same bed. I always used earplugs or headphones so noises didn't bother me much. I did have some problem with touching though. I can't sleep if I'm being touched. Cuddles are OK until I actually want to fall asleep. Then I would move to the very edge of the bed just to avoid any touch.

Yeah I know what you mean, and it is worse when the bed is small. Not related to dating, but it is hellish trying to sleep in a bunk bed, particularly a metal framed one... feeling each insanely annoying twitch from the person who is attached to you... I dont know who invented them but they must have been a heavy sleeper.

I'd just move to the couch.

I have not slept with my husband in over a year now. He snores and I can't stand snoring. One of my finger nails on a chalkboard for me. So I just sleep on the couch. I don't sleep in the bed anymore, I only do sometimes now. I also don't like it when he touches me or crowds me, I only like it when the bedroom is cold and I want to stay warm. Only touch I like from him is when he rubs me.

I've got a polyphasic sleep schedule, so I'm up and about all night.

When my girlfriend is sleeping over, I'll cuddle for a while, then slip out of bed and do stuff, come back, take a nap, get up again, come back and cuddle...

She's got a weird thing where in the first 15 minutes of falling asleep, she'll kick her legs like a rabbit and snore. Right around 15 minutes into sleeping, she'll stop snoring and kicking. If I try to move while she's still doing this, it'll wake her up.

This system seems to work. The only real problem is that sometimes I'll forget that most people need to sleep, and end up waking her up.

A few weeks ago, while she was asleep, I transcribed some of her notes into Mnemosyne, an open-source flashcard program. I then excitedly tried to wake her up so see could see how cool it is to have a study tool based on learning algorithms.

"Tom. This is very cool. But it's 2:30 a.m. Couldn't it have waited a few hours?"
"NO! It is awesome. Check this out, the easier questions get asked less frequently according to the Supermemo algo-"
"Let me sleep or I will throw the cat at you."
"But you're awake right now!"
"The vast majority of humans sleeps in a contiguous timeframe. Cat thrown at you zzzzzzz"

My parents have had seperate bedrooms for years now. You have to come to a solution you are both happy with. Some might think sleeping apart is not good for a marriage. Others, like me, think that lack of sleep is worse.

^ +1

Separate bedrooms or the couch. If you want to stay in the same bed maybe have something that creates white noise. Something constant that makes all other small sounds unnoticeable like a fan or rain machines.

After 8 years of marriage my wife could not stand sleeping in the same bad with me for several reasons. I work a 12 hr shift, mostly night shift so I would during the day and go to bed late on nights off. Sometime I would do day shift and get up at 4am. If I messed up her sleep she would not be a happy person that day. We also have other smaller issues, but her lack of sleep was a big one. At first I was upset with this change but got use to it. At least she is not angry at me about me messing with her sleep.

I have, and loved it. I already dig cuddling, so platonic sleeping is perfectly fine with me.

I'd most likely drive a person nuts due to the fact that I'm a big time tosser/turner and I like to dig down under the covers so I'm covered right to my chin even though by half way through the night(if I'm not sleeping in a cold setting like a basement) I'll often have shoved the covers down to my waist or even hips because I'm over heated. That(the overheating aspect) is why a shared bed is a no cuddle zone for me, even if it were a midwinter's night. Oh, and I grasp and take the covers over with me when I toss and turn or failing the fix the covers over me after I've turned over.