Cornflake wrote:
One was my first time, the other was with someone younger who I really fancied the pants off - and I though he might feel the same about me but wasn't sure.
So while walking in a park I just took a risk and assumed he did. I put my arm around him and pulled him towards me, and we just melted into each other.
I was right and he did. Perfect in every way, and the memory of it still makes me smile.
This made me smile, too.
My best memory was with my best friend from high school. He was on the football team, tall, with chiseled Romanesque features, richly tanned skin, blue-grey eyes, and blond hair. So gorgeous it nearly made me sick, and to boot he had uncommon wisdom and the soul and mind of a philosopher. I am not exaggerating a bit about him. If anything I am not doing him justice. Anyway, he was the only person who offered genuine acceptance during a period of total social isolation. We quickly formed a bond and spent a lot of our time together. One night I was staying at his house (his parents sort of adopted me), and settling into bed. He knelt beside me, averted his eyes, and said "I love you". I was speechless. I wasn't sure what to expect next, but he then said it was impossible because he isn't gay. It was both beautiful and deeply painful (and maybe confusing), for it hadn't occurred to me previously how much I was in love with him. I had long ago accepted a solitary fate. It is my best same-sex memory because it was the first time I didn't feel unlovable.