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tomboywriter101
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07 Apr 2011, 7:18 pm

It's two months until middle school graduation and I want to tell the class that I have HFA, because I think it would open their eyes to difference and since most of the students have been there for nine years, they have been in a tight-knit community and haven't been really exposed. I've been thinking about telling them so they can learn to let go of stereotypes.

However, my middle school counselor and my mom don't think this is such a good idea because
a: there is the possibility of them feeling sorry for me
b: they are ignorant of my condition, therefore, they could use it against me during school
c: they may post things on Facebook, which may affect my future life (high school, ect.)
d: they, overall, are too immature and sheltered to understand.
e: I'll be tempted to use it as a "cop-out" for whenever I do something strange and they won't think of me as an individual instead of just someone with a deficit.

What do you guys think?


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"Secrets hidden in slivers between bricks." "I wasn't 'they' anymore."

Agree: 4,6,13,16,18,19,20,22,39,41,45: 1 point
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Kai_Bliss
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07 Apr 2011, 7:33 pm

I don't think it is such a good idea, you might be made fun of, and it might be used against you. People suspected I had Aspergers and started labeling me as, "Semi-Autistic," and it felt really bad, and others fell sorry for me. :oops:



tomboywriter101
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07 Apr 2011, 7:36 pm

I really don't understand WHY people would use something like that against me. What is it about the revelation that triggers it?


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"Secrets hidden in slivers between bricks." "I wasn't 'they' anymore."

Agree: 4,6,13,16,18,19,20,22,39,41,45: 1 point
Disagree: 1,3,10,11,14,17,27,30,32,36,38,44,47,48,49: 1 point
Score: 26


androbot2084
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07 Apr 2011, 7:41 pm

At work I would never tell anyone that I had autism. Even if my boss were sympathetic he would justify firing me by simply thinking that I was in "my own little world" and simply not aware and a danger to myself and everyone around me. This is so hypocritical because even normal people become easily distracted when they think about girls or drinking beer or listening to music. Besides bosses at work are so stupid that they do not even know what autism is so if they want to screen me they can do it on my ability to pass a drug test.



Kai_Bliss
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07 Apr 2011, 7:57 pm

Because people are mean like that and that's just the way the world can be.



wavefreak58
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07 Apr 2011, 8:55 pm

What reasons do you have for wanting to do this?

Telling people will change things. It is very hard to say how.

There will likely be some jerks that torment you. Not because they have any reason, they're jerks and that is reason enough,

You might get some religious zealots that want to heal you.

You might lose a few friends.

You might get some new friends.

People might cut you some slack in social things.

So many things could happen that it's hard to really predict the outcome. It is really important to understand your own reasons for thinking this would be good or bad.


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ruveyn
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07 Apr 2011, 8:59 pm

Just who needs to know of your condition?

ruveyn



tomboywriter101
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07 Apr 2011, 9:16 pm

To wavefreak58: You have a good point. The kids in my grade, except for the two friends I have and a few acquaintances, can be pretty ignorant and judgmental. My two friends already know of my HFA and haven't treated me any differently. As for everyone else, some of the more immature boys will be pretty confused, some of the more compassionate classmates may not know much but be pretty curious about it, and some may not know what to do with me (as if they need to do anything). Some of the boys are jerks, though, I will give you that.

To ruveyn: We are having some thing going on Monday where we go to different stations and one of them is related to Autism. After the various stations, we talk about our experiences. I thought maybe telling my classmates that I'm autistic might be an eye-opener for them, considering they, I quote from someone, "Have been living in a bubble for all of their lives." It could lead to debunking more stereotypes about differences and further understanding of disorders or anything else they haven't been exposed to. Before they go to High School, it's important that they are exposed to more and simply being told "People are different" isn't enough, they need to experience it for themselves, which is why I feel it is beneficial.


_________________
"Secrets hidden in slivers between bricks." "I wasn't 'they' anymore."

Agree: 4,6,13,16,18,19,20,22,39,41,45: 1 point
Disagree: 1,3,10,11,14,17,27,30,32,36,38,44,47,48,49: 1 point
Score: 26


tenzinsmom
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07 Apr 2011, 9:39 pm

I am tempted on and off to hold a training/talking session with my son's classmates.

Sometimes I think it will help them to understand him better and to realize that he's not doing things differently on purpose but because he was born that way.

And to help them to gain insight into how he thinks.

But then, I think only the mature kids will take that information in, learn from it and grow in their understanding of difference. The rest may take that in and use it negatively, even just in their own minds.

So, I haven't had this talk with them.

I'm thinking about putting together a little book about Tenzin for the parents, though. So much depends on the parents attitude for this age group: 7 and 8 years old.

Sorry, that doesn't help you, but I wanted to share anyway. Please report on your decision and how you arrived at it.


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Alphabetania
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08 Apr 2011, 10:43 am

You can't very well hide your autism from people; all you can hide is your diagnosis.

There are probably different considerations if you're in high school. I was diagnosed in adulthood, so I don't know what I would have had to deal with if my diagnosis was made when I was younger.

As an adult in business, I tell everybody. All my friends, relatives, colleagues and neighbours know. Sooner or later I do something which is odd or different, and telling them I'm autistic at least explains it. It also provides them with the opportunity of asking questions and learning something, and it helps them understand why I sometimes need to withdraw from socialising after work, and to not take offence at it. And it makes them feel free to get advice for helping some of their own friends, relatives, colleagues and family -- and sometimes even for themselves. One of my friends got an ADHD diagnosis as a result of learning about it from me, and he's better off for it, because at least now he's getting treatment and learning strategies from me and from the Internet.

It also sometimes makes some people feel open to talk about their own struggles without the risk of feeling rejected. Earlier this week, one of my clients, a senior manager, said that my openness about my autism made him feel free to confide in me. He told me that he sometimes feels insecure with his subordinates, and that he wonders whether he is really worthy of being their boss.

My openness about my autism and ADHD is really helpful especially to people who have an autistic child or other relative. I can offer many tips for dealing with sleep problems, anxiety and other issues, and for optimising one's autistic strengths. I like being able to make that contribution.


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wavefreak58
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08 Apr 2011, 11:53 am

Alphabetania wrote:
As an adult in business, I tell everybody. All my friends, relatives, colleagues and neighbours know. Sooner or later I do something which is odd or different, and telling them I'm autistic at least explains it.


I teach an art class to adults. This generally works out well because it is a special interest and I can rattle on about the techniques until your brain melts. But I've started telling the class at the first lesson that I am HFA because I am very likely to not recognize them if I see them outside the context of the room where the class is held. I also ran into a problem with a student because she keeps interrupting me. I finally told her that my speech has too many pauses in it because of my autism and that just because I stop mid sentence does not mean I am done with my thought. She has a bit of an issue with an energetic offering of her own opinions. Combining that with my slightly odd speech pattern, she kept talking over me and it was getting disruptive. So I reminded her that I am autistic. We'll see if that helps.

There is a time and place for letting people know of autism. It is individual and situational. Just evaluate the reasons pro and con.


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When God made me He didn't use a mold. I'm FREEHAND baby!
The road to my hell is paved with your good intentions.