Seeking some clear direction........

Post Reply New Topic

Hi
Im brand new to all this in regards to autsim. Im a single mom raising a 3 yr old little girl. My daughter has had terrible anger issues since she was 6 months of age. her way of displaying this was through head banging. It would get worse before it would get better. At one year of age she started having night terrors and throughout her 2nd year it would be coupled with almost nightly fits of anger. Always unexplainable. Along the way she would also have terrible meltdowns and tantrums. She will inflict pain upon herself such as scratching her face, biting her arms, fingers as well as hitting herself with her hands. She has trouble with change in routines and this would apply when for instance i didn't poor the milk in her cereal in the right direction. This can also be selective however. If I decide to change our route to school some days she would have a huge fit and other days she'll be perfectly alright. She panics when its bath time as if im cutting her head off when I try to wash her hair. VERY picky eater and seems to want only fruit and will somtimes eat corn. She'll eat some others things but never whole meals. Now that she's older she's become more rude especially to strangers. She was never behind on her development. She likes that I hold her and cuddle and play with her and she's social. She tries to engage and interract with others. She's been in a dayschool for two years and had in the beginning been the class bully and biter. She never bites anymore and seems to enjoy school. She has a habit of being very friendly to strangers and would go up to hug them. The only repetitive things I've seen her do would be watching a particular movie over and over sometimes back to back. She will repeat herself several times such as "the boy fell down?" "mommy cause the boy fell down?" "The boy fell down?" I would respond but she'll repeat these phrases several more times. Again, only selectively. We've seen a neurologist and speech therapist who never said anything in regards to the autism spectrum. Only recently after seeing a behavioral therapist that Im being told we are looking at Asperger syndrome. My only issue is that after extensive study and research , my daughter has failed the assessment tests that are made available online. She's only 3. Isn't it possible that her dr. is only speculating? What suggestions would anyone have concerning my dilema. I would appreciate all advice.

Hi, lily, welcome! First of all, did your therapist do a clinical assessment for autism spectrum disorders (in preschoolers, that's often the CARS ) They take some time with the child - and at the end, you should have a breakdown of her assets and deficits and how they fit into an autism spectrum diagnosis.

Most of the online tests aren't terribly accurate, and if you have concerns, I wouldn't really consider them as anything other than food for thought.

As autism spectrum disorders are developmental, many behaviors in early childhood fall within the range of "normal." At 3 years old, if your daughter doesn't have a language delay, I can see where it could go either way. If it was me, I'd want specifics from the therapist as to why she thinks this is an appropriate label for your daughter, and what strategies she expects you to apply to help her. A label is only as good as what you get out of it.

If you brought her to other professionals with concerns, I'd be curious what they said - did they give a different diagnosis? Did they offer any strategies that worked?

Above all, did any of these professionals listen to your concerns carefully?

If you rated the behaviors that worry you on a scale from least concern to most concern, what would that look like? (That is something I would share with a therapist.)

In my view, Aspergers would be a more positive explanation for the explosive behavior than most other potential labels. If it's Aspergers, I know how to help you mitigate that explosive behavior. I can tell you where it may come from, and so on. If it isn't Aspergers, well, then, I can't.

I think that at age 3 Aspergers can be difficult to diagnose. If your daughter is AS, it will become more apparent over time as other children develop in way that your daughter will not.

What I would suggest is that instead of focusing on labels, you focus on protocols. Do the techniques we use for AS children as described here on this board work better for your daughter than standard parenting advice? If so, use them.

Also, spend some time reading about sensory issues, and sensory integration dysfunction. While this tends to be viewed as connected to AS, it is officially co-morbid, meaning that your daughter could have sensory issues while not being AS. Sensory issues alone could explain much of what you have described, so I would definitely look at that piece, and see what you can do to mitigate the sensory stress in your daughter's environment. If her environment is less stressful for her, you will see less explosive behavior.

Finally ... most experts will say that 6 month old babies don't have anger issues. They have unmet needs and frustrations that they are unable to convey. If your daughter has appeared to have anger issues since that age, then she has, in my opinion, been trying to tell you something. I think the best thing for your relationship is to see if you can figure out what that is. Everyone gets angry and frustrated, but infants and toddlers are not expected to know how to handle those feelings in a non-confrontational way or how to diffuse them before they take over. Since there is no appropriate expectation, there is no inappropriate. Without inappropriate, there is no "issue." Little ones can have needs we don't see, and that seem like nothing. But to them ... it is very much something.

Last edited by DW_a_mom on 17 Apr 2011, 9:44 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Thank you so much for some clear info regarding my concerns. Her Dr. never did do an assessment which you refered to as CARS. She was very quick to give us a "label" and that did concern me at the time. Especially since she only asked me a few questions and went by what I had to say rather than test any of it out herself. I am definitely going to ask about that on our next visit. Also the neurologist didn't really give us the time of day concerning all I had to say and quickly wanted to just prescribe medication on the spot! My daughter is on medicaid and so am uncertain if this is a reason they don't want to give us the attention we deserve. Im at a point where I feel stuck but hopefully things will become more clear as I am barely learning more about all this. I should point out that my daughter has been on medication for her night time and sleeps so much more soundly. However now her Dr. wants to put her on ADHD medication as well. I have to say I was extremely hesitant with this idea but I trusted the fact that she's a Dr. and knows best. After doing extensive research, Im going to hold out til I get some very clear answers. Thanks again. Will keep posting.

It isn't just because you are on medicaid, that the doctors jump to a prescription. Medication is basically what doctors do; the hard detective work of sorting through a child's unusual sensory needs and other issues is what parents and, eventually, what educators do.

I am glad that you wish to wait on the medication, because once you go that route, finding the underlying triggers just gets harder. There may come a time when you have no other choice, but I don't think age 3 is it. At 3, she deserves to be the who she is, as she is. Anger may be frustrating and scary, but it isn't likely to put her in danger or hurt you. So, work on the triggers. With any luck, you never need medication. We never have, and my son was quite a lot of everything as an infant and toddler!

I appreciate your advice. I need all I can get. She is currently in Occupational Therapy for her sensory issues just never thought it could be a possibility that perhaps this could be all that is bothering her. Its worth looking into. I've actually been down that road as to trying to figure out what may be causing my child to explode in anger since she was 6 months of age. til this day I'm puzzled. Especially when its over the smallest, or what appears to be the smallest of things that have no real significance such as placing her spoon on the correct side of the table. But to her it is a big deal. So just trying to wrap my head around everything.

Some of that may make more sense if you read Tracker's book at ASDStuff.com

It's free to download.

What I've noticed with my son is that stress accumulates. He can handle A if he isn't also handling B and C. But if you try to add A on top of B and C, the whole thing trips.

Also, the more out of control the world feels to him, the more he struggles to control the things he can. When he was little, if kids had acted irrationally towards him at school (which, to his mind, they usually did), his answer is to try to make mommy act in a certain way when he got home, or to line up his Lego's just so. Overtime, I came to view those picky things as a warning sign that stress was happening he wasn't aware of.

AS kids (and kids who may not be AS, but maybe act similar at times) have a huge need for things to follow pattern or expectation. The world is so confusing to them that they seek to sort it and describe it, just make sense of it. If things have generally been smooth, they can handle a few bumps. But if things have overloaded them, they start actively looking to reshape the world into something they can manage and understand. It's defensive.

Kids with sensory issues can stress out to so many things that you and I don't even notice. A simple toilet flush can feel like nails on a chalkboard to their ears. A heat register turning off and on can keep them up all night. Too much visual clutter might hurt the brain the way a noise hurts ears. Imagine being in a noisy bar with loudly amplified music: there is only so much of it you can take, before your start seeking respite. But for a child with sensory issues, the world can be like that 24/7, there is no respite. Consider what that does to their sense of the world, and their ability to manage themselves. Makes sense that they react negatively, doesn't it?

Anyway, it sounds like you are on a road to some answers, and do have some assistance. Don't be afraid of words like AS; they are just words. More important is finding what you need to unlock the mysteries that will allow you to help your daughter. If the words are a part of that, use them. If they aren't, don't.

Thank you again. It sure feels good I finally have a place to seek some guidance. will keep posting