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AlienAted
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21 Apr 2011, 8:45 am

I'm in my 50's, and was diagnosed last year. The support groups I've found here in SE Michigan are all geared toward children, college-aged, and their families. In addition, being an Aspie with some other learning disabilities has caused me to be an "underachiever", so the only work I can handle on my job requires that I work 2nd shift, working alone. My family thinks this diagnosis is whacked, and they don't want to discuss it, especially since I believe some of them have it, but are in denial. They ALL also have pretty serious food allergies, and/or auto-immune issues, which from what I've read, pretty much go hand-in-hand. All of these issues leave me out in the cold, with absolutely no support of any kind, with anybody who can even remotely comprehend. Yes, I agree with the viewpoint that weAspies are anywhere from 1/2 to 1/3 of our chronological age in maturity. This makes me mentally 18-28 years old, in a 56-yr-old woman's body. My theme song is Green Day's "On the Bolivaurd Of Broken Dreams". Is there anybody out there who can relate to this?



Radiofixr
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21 Apr 2011, 9:37 am

I can totally relate with you-here in SE PA its tough to find many adult groups-I belong to a group where I am the next to the oldest person and I am 46 and was diagnosed last year and I feel the same way as you I feel like I an 16-20 years old-I never seemed to grow up-my songs that I relate to are Pink Floyds "Time" and "The Trial" and Harvey Dangers "Flagpole Sitta" the lyrics say it all-from Flagpole Sitta-"I'm not sick but I'm not well" and just listen to "Time" by Pink Floyd "ten years have got behind you,no one told you when to run,you missed the starting gun"-the groups do tend to skew younger but I am in just as much of need for some kind of support as the younger crowd-and forget trying to find therapy covered by insurance-I found a place but they never call me back and I cant afford 175.00 for 45 minutes-I am doing good but not that good.


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Aspinator
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21 Apr 2011, 9:50 am

I too was diagnosed later in life ( I'm now 55). I went to a HFA/AS group when I was first diagnosed a few years ago. I pointedly asked "would there be other older adults there?" I was told yes so I went. I found it was full of giggly kids. I have never been back. I too would be somewhat of an underachiever. I have been working in a lab in a steel mill for 11 years but before that I had a hard time finding meaningful (and lasting) work. Prior to getting a diagnosis I was viewed as an eccentric misfit that was too smart for my own good. I would also be described as book smart but socially dumb. Surprisingly, some members of my family seemed to be pissed by my diagnosis. I even have some family members that refuse to talk to me now. Maybe they preferred dealing with an unsure person eager to please than someone that has been diagnosed with AS.



Mack27
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21 Apr 2011, 11:32 am

I got diagnosed 5 months ago, I'm 39. I haven't told any family members.



Todesking
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21 Apr 2011, 11:40 am

I was diagnosed at age 40 August 6th 2010. My family does not know what to make of my diagnosis. There is a meet up group here in Buffalo but I am afraid to visit it. I believe it will cause me to be depressed seeing people worst than me or people doing better than me. :roll: I do not see any benifit from meeting other Aspies other than maybe finding a girlfriend or find someone to b***h about things with.


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Radiofixr
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21 Apr 2011, 1:35 pm

Todesking wrote:
I was diagnosed at age 40 August 6th 2010. My family does not know what to make of my diagnosis. There is a meet up group here in Buffalo but I am afraid to visit it. I believe it will cause me to be depressed seeing people worst than me or people doing better than me. :roll: I do not see any benifit from meeting other Aspies other than maybe finding a girlfriend or find someone to b***h about things with.

Sometimes its nice to be able to b***h to someone who can understand and may have a different insight on things-I think the reason the groups I hang with like me coming to them is that I am doing ok and I am showing the younger people that their future could very well be ok.


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Simmian7
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22 Apr 2011, 8:51 pm

hey to my fellow Michigander! :compress:


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emtyeye
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23 Apr 2011, 9:59 am

I'm self diagnosed at 53. Hoping to scrape together money for an official diagnosis (no insurance or job currently). Wondering how getting an official diagnosis helped others (?) Did you know on your own first? Has it helped to make it official?



voodoo31
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02 May 2011, 11:49 am

I'm 43 and self diagnosed. I've never told anyone. I try to force myself to be socially active and do have a few good friends which I appreciate. But have also suffered a lot of rejection as well, I suppose I can understand it as my behavior at times must give unusual signals to many NT people. I've never really thought about getting properly diagnosed.

I find when I am well rested and relaxed and my mood is good I can cope quote well and even come across as quiet charming and social at times, but if I am busy and stressed at work or not getting enough sleep (most of the time) is when I tend to have problems and often just don't want to interact with people.

I have quite a well paid job (in I.T. field - what else :-) and have some savings behind me so seriously thinking of going into semi-retirement. Although I don't have enough savings really for retirement i think the benefits of just being well rested, having time to work on my personal development and not being stressed out would make my life style much better and would be worth it, but would have to live a lot more frugally.

I have also noticed the average age on this site seems to be late teens or early 20s so seems people over 40 are not so well represented but I agree there is a need for us to find communities and groups, I'm sure it would be helpful

One thing I do treasure is the few good friends i have that accept me. I've given up trying to please and make friends with everyone or even most people I meet but as encouragement to others there are such accepting people out there and throughout your life hopefully you can meet some.



coralbell
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02 May 2011, 5:21 pm

I was assessed at age 41 - doing okay for mysef. I have told my brother. My dad has his own issues and my sister lives away. I have two close NT friends. I don't know any aspies in my city.



mgran
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03 May 2011, 8:27 am

Well... nearly. I was diagnosed schizoaffective at 39. I was diagnosed autistic at four.



GenieSusanWiley
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03 May 2011, 11:33 am

AlienAted wrote:
This makes me mentally 18-28 years old, in a 56-yr-old woman's body.

Well, this is great! :wtg:
I think you might be happy to be "always young"!
I'm 35 but I feel no more than 12/15, ehehehe! :)
Kidding (not too much :roll: ). I haven't asperger. I'm just a... Peter-Pan-girl... :)
Just a question: why was your illness diagnosticated so late?!



asplanet
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06 May 2011, 11:08 pm

All I have to say, while diagnosed very late in life, thankfully I was, as before was like living in a fog 8O


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BTween
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18 May 2011, 2:51 pm

I'm 53, not diagnosed, but strongly suspected. Like emtyeye I'm wondering whether an official diagnosis would be worth the expense. asplanet says yes -- any other opinions? Ever since learning about AS I've wondered if that's me. I've always felt like an outsider, and when I was younger I actually wondered whether people were sending each other some kind of secret signals that I didn't know about. Sounds like paranoia, but I guess I just had a fairly accurate intuitive grasp of my situation.

I'm so used to thinking of myself as an outsider, I have trouble believing there's really a group (Aspies) that I belong to. Maybe I'm afraid to be assessed because I'll find out that AS is just one more group where I don't quite fit. My nickname, BTween, reflects this fear that maybe I'm somewhere in between an Aspie and an NT.

Anyway, I've learned to fit in by imitating people who seemed to be socially successful, but I do get tired of "acting normal." I've been doing it so long I have trouble distinguishing the "real me" from the disguise. All I know is, back before I learned to (partially) hide my difference, the "real me" was not well accepted by NT folks.



JWS
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30 Aug 2011, 10:07 pm

I was officially diagnosed 10 days short of my 43rd birthday.
My NT wife left me because I am AS-HFA. I live alone, now, and wish I could find a woman who knows how to treat a man respectfully who has AS-HFA.
Anybody understand how I feel?


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outworlder
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31 Aug 2011, 11:20 pm

I don't know if I have ever posted, but been a member a long time and get emails now and then. Diagnosed AS at age 50, very late probably. The diagnosis or labels that come with them, explain the events, the high's and low's and the mysteries of odd stuff. Agoraphobia, but always fought through it to drive to work. Have some things in common with Tourettes, uncontrolled movements that have a trigger. Also I have some dyslexia. It really amazes me how much someone can ignore or maybe the power of denial. Married but always been a loner, poor at social events, worked with machines not people. Family history of many mental issues with mother's side. But diagnosis at least helps me see some self esteem and dignity in myself for endurance if nothing else.