Does anyone know where to get an exit bag?

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A couple weeks ago I had a noose tied to the ceiling and I was standing on top of a chair with my head through it. I contemplated suicide for while and then decided against it because I was afraid that it would be painful and I thought about how my family would react to it. I have decided that nitrogen asphixiation would be the most pleasant way to die, but I don't know where to get an exit bag or a nitrogen tank. Does anyone know where to get either of those things or have a better suggestion for how to commit suicide? I cannot get them over the internet because I don't want my parents to find out. I'm getting inpatient and would like to get an exit bag as soon as possible. Can anyone help me?

I don't think anyone is going to talk you into how to commit suicide.

I can't in good conscience give you that information, but I do wish you'd reconsider. Suicide does affect others, whether you recognize it or not. Also, consider that if you fail, you may end up worse off than you are now: with all the same problems you have now but also with irreversible brain damage from the lack of oxygen you caused yourself by the asphyxiation attempt. I don't have any easy answers and it would be much easier for me not to be here too, but please do reconsider.

I wish you the best, and lots of strength. I know it takes a lot to resist this kind of thinking.

~Kate

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I've also been thinking that after I graduate from high school in a few months and move on to college if things still aren't working out for me I could get a passport and leave the country without my parents knowing and start a new life somewhere else, but I have too much to leave behind and if it doesn't work out then I don't know what I'd do after that. I'm trapped in my life and there is no escape. No matter what I do I'm still going to be in a bad situation. I'm always tired no matter how much I sleep and I overthink everything. I don't know how much longer I can go on. I hate life, but I don't want to die.

I don't have any problems with my family. I'm pretty close to my family, but I'm still annoyed and dissapointed with my life because of the daily struggle. I hate being isolated all the time and struggling with things in school way more than everyone else even though I am skilled in math and science. Everything is really annoying to me. I just want to sleep all the time. I don't know the purpose of living my daily life. I spend hundreds of dollars on video games, but they don't give me the pleasure that they used to. I don't have anything to look forward to any more.

I care too much to tell you how and where to get an exit bag.

This is ridiculous. There are a million fun ways to die, why the hell would you go for a boring route like hanging yourself. If you're planning on dying then you have absolutely nothing to lose. People with nothing to lose can do whatever the hell they like. Why not go on a week long drug binge and at the end of it steal a motorbike and do some insane stunt that you're not likely to survive. Thats what I'm gonna do if I ever get uncurable cancer or something like that.

Things can always get better. Being in high school, your life hasn't even begun. I doubt if any of us here didn't struggle through high school. I know I was that one kid who was tormented by bullies and ignored by everyone else, so I can definitely relate to the isolation. And even though I can't say my life is a breeze now, whose is? I still have plenty of good things. Just give it some time to get past the rough spots.

i'd like to try to convince you not to do it, but i can't do that. if i couldn't convince my own mother 5 months ago that life is worth living, then there is no way i can convince someone on Wrong Planet to stay alive.

what i can tell you is that people don't just move along like they were before after a suicide in the family. there is an empty spot that can never be filled. it's true that this happens with every death, but with suicide, the survivors are acutely aware that the suicidal person voluntarily removed themselves from the picture. the devastation is frankly horrific and extends across the family and down the generations.

it may seem that your family does not care that much anyways. well, it's pretty hard to open yourself up to their love when you are in the blackest place. but if you ask for help you can experience some part of that, if you accept their help for what it is - a desire to keep you in their lives.

case in point. i have a story that i cannot tell in great detail as it is too painful, even after 8 years. but the bare bones are that i had my mother arrested to prevent her from killing herself (one of 13 or so attempts). she could not accept that i would have performed that act out of love for her - she wanted to be put out of her misery. she could not embrace the love that was right in front of her.

it may help to think of the person you love most in the whole world, then imagine that the person killed themselves even though you care so much for them.

i know that if a person is truly set on killing themselves then nobody else can possibly stop them, but keep in mind that there no one person exists completely alone. we are interconnected in ways that you cannot see through the veil of depression, and your actions WILL affect people who care about you.

let me know if you find out, if not, homemade versions are available but the success rate is lower.

1) You're still at "high school". You've barley lived yet.
2) If you genuinely (I mean, you are REALLY prepared to) kill yourself, don't. Do something COMPLETELY insane instead. I mean Life changing insane. It's more interesting than death.
3) If you still want to die, I agree with whoever said it. Do it in a life affirming way. Do something crazy.

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