New Mem...... My husband has aspergers

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Hi,
My husband is newly diagnosed with aspergers. We have been married for 4 years and have a 2 1/2 year old dtr. Throughout the four yrs it has not been easy for me and I would like to connect with other woman that are married to men with aspergers. What do you do to make it work ????? Can it work. I'm starting to feel like it can't

Thanks

You can. It's hard, but you can. My husband and I have been together for six years, he has aspergers, and I don't. I totally know where you're coming from. Any relationship has its trials, but we seem to have more sometimes! If you ever want to talk, feel free to send me a PM. It can work, it just takes a little more work. It's beyond worth it though.

I try to remind myself of how he interprets the world, and understand his point of view. It's very different from mine, and putting myself in his shoes when I don't understand his actions truly does help. Especially when it comes to some of his sensory issues, or social situations that overwhelm him, taking that time to look at the world from his angle helps me help him. If you've never read any of her books, you should look into Temple Grandin's writing. She's very good at explaining how her mind works, and it really helped me understand how he thinks.

I'm sure reading around here will help too

I know your post is sincere, but just saying he has Aspergers doesn't paint much of a picture. There is huge variation between Aspies and how our symptoms present themselves just as there is huge difference between NTs and how YOUR symptoms present themselves.

I have been married to an NT woman for 11 years. We have 3 kids, including one who is in a wheelchair. It's challenging but rewarding. For me, home is my comfort zone and where I am often happiest. My wife and I have developed a give and take on many levels. We know different things make us tick ... it has been an opposites-attract type of relationship since Day 1. She gives me my alone time (hiking/mountains) without hesitation and I suck it up as best as I can for those social situations that I know she loves (although she is sure to liquor me up on such occasions ).

He's still the same dude you married. An AS diagnosis doesn't change things in any negative way, but it does give you the ability to predict behavior within a certain range of traits. Work on it ... he wouldn't have married and had a child with you if his feelings weren't genuine.

Good luck.

Thank you for responding ....... I am very new to this..... You have a point ..... I should have included a lot more in my post about what my husband symptoms are....... I'm at a point that I'm to overwhelmed by all the things I can list.....

Welkome to WrongPlanet.

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