New In Here...56-yr-old Aspie female

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Please, is there somebody who can give me hope? I recently found out I'm a high-functioning Aspie. Is this something that cognitive therapy can actually overcome? Is there someone who can relate their story of overcoming their social obstacles after diagnosis of Asperger's? Is there anybody in this group who has gotten improvement of their symptoms after dietary changes, or is that just a pipe-dream?
Do any of you in this group have similar interests, such as ancient history, geology, seismology, conspiracy theories, chemtrails, HAARP, ancient aliens, or UFO's? I would have been a great scientist, but math got in the way. I still have hope that this issue can be overcome. That's what we're all in here for, right? First, we seek hope, and then we are to help. Thanks; AlienAted

Welcome AlienAtated.

I was diagnosed at around 20 so I had the same trouble. I think for me I've had to learn to accept myself first before getting help. Ironically I'm in congitive therapy which helps but in the beginning for over 2 years I had trouble with it. I kept rejecting the help or advice that was given to me. It's taken me some time between being in wards for depression and medication. I wish I could say there were more resources out there or at least ones that were affordable. I think just this site and making friends on it has helped me the most. I am now not as uncomfortable as I was when I was first diagnosed. I'm in my late twenties now and am still having to work on my inner self. Going on a healthy diet DOES help as well as getting some exercise at least twice a week. But I've had to really discipline myself and remember how certain foods affect my mood. I'm not sure if I can give anymore advice than what's worked for me. I know the feeling of being alone and without anyone to relate to all too well.

Welcome AlienAted! I love that name! I often wish I took more time to choose mine. Your special interests don't match mine, particularly, (although I have a slight interest in ancient history, it is not intense enough to be a special one.) Your interests seem to match many of those that Dan Aykroyd seems to have, based on interviews I have read and heard. He is one of the few famous people who have declared publicly that they have had Asperger's. As far as I know, he does not post on WP. If you do a Google search you can find lists of successful people (including many famous) who are suspected to have Asperger's, as well as some who are confirmed. Some local searches ("custom Google") might help you find threads that match your interests.

Hope for what? Without a goal to hope for, there can be no hope. Set a goal, a reasonable one, then hope for it.

Overcome? I revel in my Aspieness! Embrace your advantages, and discard the 'afflicted' label that society imposed upon you.

Be better at something that one thing than anyone else could be - music, tech, or management. socialization is vastly over-rated.

Pipe dream.

Ancient History - Yes
Geology - Not so much any more.
Seismology - I live in Cali.
Conspiracy Theories - What a joke!
Chemtrails - Another joke.
HAARP - Look out, she's on a roll!
Ancient Aliens - Too funny!
UFO's - Much ado about nothing.

Math doesn't "Get in the way" unless you let it. You've fallen for the "Girls can't do math" myth. But that's okay ... less competition for my job in the real world.

Sometimes, the best hekp we can receive is the realization that 99% of our problems exist because we are afraid of the unknown - afraid of having to cope without fear, and compete as equals with real-world people.

I'm learning you don't overcome the social difficulties, you learn there are better people to socialize with. I'm part of an Aspie support group and find it's much easier to make friends there than in the real world. I've also learned to seek out other people with similar interests and/or those who self-identify as geeks or nerds. I haven't gained new social skills so much as learned how to put the skills I have to better use.

Welcome to the land of 'Now I know myself', relax sister from now on it can get easier if you want.

I too was an adult diagnosed aspie, life had forced me to develop a certain coping behaviours [some healthy some not] but I was not coping or even remotely functional [homeless, poly-abuser].

Today I am sober of habit, less depressed, less of an emotional yo-yo and healthier physically [less stressed, fitter etc..].

I found first of all that accepting being different was a breakthrough, I gave myself permission to be and behave different/ly to other people. I got some instruction in CBT[cognitive behavioral therapy] from my psychologist and discovered that some of my healthier coping mechanisms were in fact self developed CBT. I refined and reapplied some of this fairly successfully [less likely to have public space anxiety attacks, though still easily exhausted].

I used this Forum to ask a few pertinent questions and read other peoples thoughts and observations.

I read Tony Attwoods book - The complete guide to Aspergers Syndrome [I prefer the term disorder as in sensory disorder].

I adjusted my diet and lifestyle. I used to smoke a lot of pot and occasionally binge drink thinking this helped me cope, in reality it set me onto an emotional rollercoaster, wild mood swings do not help one live with aspergers. To this end I explored the effect of more subtle chemical inputs and have since eliminated caffine for the same reasons and reduced refined sugsr intake to near zero. Highly processed foods [even as treat only foods] will also have a negative effect on a more volatile emotional rhtymn, I would suggest only using them in highly concious ways.

At the end of all this [at this point in the journey] I am no longer a poly-abuser of drugs, no longer persistently suicidal and sometimes I would even say I am happy.

Admitedly I am lucky I live in a society that has an accomodating social infrastructure and live in a subsidised state flat [in a not completely ghettoised block] and recieve a basic welfare benefit which is allowing me the room to get my act together at my own pace. I am confident that now AI understand my employment environment needs I will be self reliant again when the right job comes along.

peace j

Welcome to the club

I was diagnosed at 56, a couple of years ago. I did go through an identity crisis thing, but after that it got better. My employers had to make some adjustments for my condition, which took a lot of the stress out of my life. Other than that I've not been able to get any help. CBT might be a good thing, if you can find a provider who you can relate to. I haven't tried it. Mostly for me it's been about discovering what my coping strategies are (nobody with AS gets to their 50s without developing those, or they wouldn't be here!)...then it's just a matter of getting them more under conscious control - naturally, until you know you have AS, coping strategies develop unconsciously.

I don't have much faith in the dietary "cures." But you never know.

I, too, was diagnosed at age 56. I always knew something was not quite right, but until recently did not know what it was. I find life to be pretty lonely at times. I can pass for NT in some situations, but often not. I just keep trying to mimic the NTs, but it is a very tiring thing to not be oneself. Some people are more kind than others and when I find people who understand, they might become a friend. I have virtually no family members that I am close to since losing both my parents. Things were pretty ok until they died and then reality really started to hit home.

I wish I knew how to make more friends. I keep trying.

I am still going through an identity crisis as I review my life and am now able to put so much into perspective based on my diagnosis. Many things now that never made sense now make sense to me. I know now why I was made fun of and why life has been so very difficult!

I see a therapist to try to deal with life, but I find life to be extremely hard.

Several people diagnosed at 56, interesting, this is when [astrologically speaking] your second Saturn return occurs.

peace j

Did you worry about having to overcome anything prior to diagnosis?

As I'm sure you're aware, autism doesn't go away. There is no cure and no fix. You learn to live with it and you adapt to it. Its not a death sentence. You've got to 56 without it, what difference does it really make to your life now?

It's only a label, it doesn't define who you were for the past 56 and it wont define you for the next 56.

What the label can do is help you to find the right techniques and support to overcome the issues you want to... but you cant just stop being autistic. There is no miracle cure.

As for your interests, I go through phases of being fascinated by them all. I have qualifications related to some of your interests, sadly not the UFO ones.

Hi AlienAted, this is a great place for Aspies. I don't have a formal DX...would love to get one, but frankly it wouldn't change anything as far as my personality or quirks.

Sorry about the math issue...I am also math challenged. Have never really been good at it. Shame on those who are who expect everyone to share their skills set. If we all shared the very same talents, it'd be a boring world. I have completely different interests than you, one of which is photography. I'm sure you'll find plenty of interesting things & people here though.

Welcome to WP.


Tomboy