How do you have sex devoid of emotion?

Post Reply New Topic

How do you do this? I feel like this is going to be a challenge I'm going to have to get over. I've had 3 f*cked up actual relationships, and at this point, I'm about sick of this. Most girls would rather have emotionless flings rather than relationships with me.

Chance would be a fine thing.

Real intimacy is something many people find uncomfortable.

Why? I find it second nature. It's really easy and comfortable.

The other thing where the two of you are going through the physical motions (being physically affectionate, having lots of sex, and spending a ton of time together getting to know each other) of a relationship makes me much, much more uncomfortable.

I guess what women want is a partner that doesn't talk to them when they're down. Doesn't show a hint of depression and is always in that happy randomness chatty mode. I guess that's really masculine.

In response to your original question, why bother?

**************************************************************

Check out my IMDB page!

The only girls that are into me lately want this kind of thing. A guy needs to get laid.

Maybe they just don't want to get emotionally involved with you for some reason. It's all very well looking outward, what about inward? Maybe you can do more to encourage intimacy.

Last edited by Moog on 25 Apr 2011, 7:17 pm, edited 1 time in total.

yes, they do enjoy banter and someone who is great at give-and-take. But I think it "may" also be indicative of a change in our culture. The New York Times had an article on how children coming up today are being raised in a manner that doesn't support long-term relationships. Long ago, you grew up in your neighborhood and knew every kid from k through 12 grade. We are a much more active society today, and having your kids move from one elemantary school to another be the norm. Parents seem to embrace the future by having a preference of quantity over quality as far as their childrens friends go, for social and networking reasons. I'll find it and post it up. But that may explain the shallowness of it all.

Simply echoing what's said during sex can be very erotic for a partner, for instance if your partner says 'I love it when you're inside me' then a response of 'I love being inside you too' or 'you feel amazing' can be an adequate exchange. If intimacy involves an element of identifying with your partner as an opposite-but-equal, then appropriate response is every bit as important as originality

The idea of sex without attachment reminds me of lessons from health class in high school. The desire for sex without attachment doesn't sound healthy on the face of it, and may mean that one's ability to bond has been damaged by having had so many partners. Why wouldn't it be preferred to have just as much sex with one, closely bonded, preferably married partner? Promiscuity is even bad from an evolutionary biological perspective because there's a high disease risk for someone who probably isn't in a good situation for raising children, thus one has all the costs but none of the benefits of a high risk activity from the standpoint of passing on one's genes.

Even Mr. Slave says "Being a whore is supposed to be a bad thing."

I have a long track record of saying on the forum that I believe casual and noncommittal sex is a much healthier option for many if not most ASD'ers-- it's what I swear by.

But there can still be plenty of emotion and passion behind it-- often more than in a "real" relationship, because there's no baggage or deception to go along with it. But if you're not having any feeling for the other person, which is how I would define "sex without emotion," you're missing out on one of the best things in life.

**********************************************************************************************

Check out my IMDB page!

I have a casual girlfriend at present - I certainly wouldn't say it's "sex without emotion"- there is genuine affection between us, it just doesn't include a formal commitment to function socially as a "couple".

It's not for everyone, but it's not as horrible as you make it out to be...

Its really easy for me I can feel no emotion for her a girl during sex because its about me getting off not about her needs that sounds bad but its a honest answer

Its really easy for me I can feel no emotion for her a girl during sex because its about me getting off not about her needs that sounds bad but its a honest answer

I'm very good at compartmentalizing love and sex, but even I disagree with this. I almost always have sex with no emotion other than exhilaration at being able to pump out my plumbing. But even then, I try to please the girl, because that's the right thing to do during sex. The only time your mentality would apply if I'm having sex with an escort. In that case, I focus mainly on my pleasure, and only try to avoid making her uncomfortable.

I hope you never breed.