NT child imitating Aspie sibling?

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I have a 6 year old Aspie/ADD girl and a 4 year old girl. The little one is very bright, engaging, communicative and energetic. However, she seems to be having issues of her own and I can't tell if perhaps she really has sensory problems, or if she is just seeing her older sister's behavior and taking that as normal. It's causing problems at her day care and I was asked recently if there was anything going on at home. I wanted to cry, because aside from dealing with my older girl and her treatment, no, there wasn't! Has anyone else had to deal with this? I'm going to try the same rewards system for the little one that we use for the elder just to make sure she isn't feeling left out. She's not listening to her teacher, intentionally disruptive at times and yells at the other kids when they take her toys or mess up something she's working on. Same as her older sissy. I'm tempted to have her evaluated for ADHD. Both of these disorders run heavily in my family, and the ADHD in my hubby's family. I also am trying to find a way to work part time and be at home for them more...it seems lack of time may be adding to things.

What are your thoughts?

My mom treated all of us kids the same. She didn't want me to feel broken and that there was something wrong with me so she treated all of us the same.

She could be copying her older sister thinking it's normal behavior because if she isn't being punished for her behavior, she is going to think it's normal and that it's okay to act that way. Or she could have problems too just like her older sister.

My parents also treated my sister and I the same.

hi there,
My son is five and awaiting a diagnosis for AS, his younger sibling is 18 months his junior and does immitate certain behaviours. I have the same concerns as you, however, I am not convinced my youngest is on the spectrum at all. Both my children are highly intellegent, interactive and verbal but the 4 year old seems to hold the "common sense" whereas his brother does not so much. The eldest also had the obsessive behaviours, uncontrolable meltdowns and many quirky habbits. I am very new to this, yet can already see the differences is just copying -or there being an actual underlying issue. If it isn't very clear to you, get the little one assessed just to be sure, especially wiith a strong genetic background.
At least then you can put your mind at ease either way

X Kel

I am no expert, but if her behaviour has just started to come out as being naughty and she was fine before the age of 4 I would assume it is behavioural.
We knew from a very very early age that something was going on with our son but we never had that feeling about our daughter, she seemed very typical to us all the time even when she is being naughty.

. Autism tends to onset about toddler age for some...others are differently wired since birth, so to be on the safe side, it would be best to have her evailuated. But eitherway structure and clear consistant rules that dont waver are the hallmarks for keeping kids from driving you crazy...NT or AS.

Parrents can unknowingly cause behavior problems when they are inconsistant with rules and expectations. In child psychology classes in college, my proffessor told us that it does not matter if a parrent is strict or leaniant (sp) all that matters is if they are consistant. When a parrent is strict some times and leaniant at others on the same issues...it teaches kids to manipulate and act out to change the mind of the parrent or others to get their way once they learn the parrent will give in if they act out enough. If this continues for a long time it can become conduct disorder...in which the child is totally out of control.
I am not accusing you of being a bad parrent, but very few parrents know this important truth about the psychology of a child. However once you set consistant unchanging rules with a child who has been used to incosistantcy, at first they will put up a heck of a fight, but once they realize that you will not give in and they exausted all their games...they will become much more emotionally secure and happier children.

Now I am not blaming AS on incosistant parrenting because AS is real, but parrents tend to make matters worse when they are uncertain about what is reasonable to expect from an AS child and become inconsistant in trying to juggle what is AS and what is behavioral. AS kids love structure and consistantcy even though they tend to fight it when you first impliment it because that represents a change in itself which they hate, but I highly recomend going to get a total neuropsychilogical exam done by a doctor who knows autism. This is a great tool...because it will clearly point out what are your AS child's gifts and problems are so you know what to expect of her...and what are realistic expectations and what are not so you can be totally consistant without setting unreasonable expectations.
This will help her behavior conciderably although it does not eliminate AS issues....it will untangle the AS issue v's behavioral knot. Once your older child is doing better...then you can look at your younger child at whether her behavior improves or not. If not, have her tested as well.


I hope that helps,

Jojo...btw...I am telling you this from my experience as a person with AS and what I learned as a psychology major