Do People Have Emotions?
People tell me I have trouble picking up on emotions, but it's the exact opposite. I always know how someone feels, if I hurt their feelings or whatnot. But people never seem to know or care if they hurt someone else's feelings. I have been sending friend requests out to people I know and have talked on facebook and they ignore my messages and deny me. I asked my mom "do people even have emotions" today and she said "I think you're reading it wrong, think about how they feel". I mean, dont they know they are hurting my feelings by doing this? I have always cared more about things than most people, but since I'm autistic people say I have no emotions
TenPencePiece
Veteran
Joined: 11 Dec 2009
Age: 29
Gender: Male
Posts: 46,000
Location: Greater Manchester, United Kingdom
Well, are you acknowledging their emotions? Do you try to make them feel better when they are upset, or be happy for them when they are?
If not, then they may feel that you don't care about their emotions, and aren't inclined to care about your emotions.
If yes, then maybe you shouldn't bother with them, if you care for their emotions yet they don't show anything for it in return.
Don't know if this helps or not. Perhaps elaboration on a particular incident may help.
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Raindance
Tufted Titmouse
Joined: 7 May 2011
Age: 36
Gender: Female
Posts: 35
Location: Richhill, Northern Ireland
I think i understand where your coming from. Its like when i am talking to a group of people, they always seem to interupt what i am saying and keep talking, regardless of what i have to say. I dont like interupting others, so will end up sitting there and saying nothing. its like being invisible. They dont care im there, or that i want to be included in what they are talking about.
I dunno if this is what you mean, but sometimes i think i care too much about other peoples feelings, even if they dont care about mine.
I wouldn't worry too much about people who don't accept you on facebook. I don't think those people Intend to hurt your feeling and there has to be a reason why they don't add you. Have you met them in person or online only? Why do you think they do it? Another question - did someone actually tell you that you have no emotions because you're autistic or is it your assumption?
That's true. And it's always a double edged sword. Catching the lecture from them whenever you bug someone, but when they bug you you're just "oversensitive".
And you're proving them wrong. It bugs you because you want people to see that you're a human being first and that your feelings are just as vulnerable as theirs. And when it comes right down to it, the answer is this: Yes people feel. Yes they have emotions.
But the more you try to understand theirs, the more yours are going to get hurt.
I understand exactly how you feel. I hope you are talking about your friends and not just people on facebook but in general it's more or less the same. I have never been and will never go to a shrink no matter how f****d up I am in the head I believe that we are all different in the way we communicate and all of us find some situations akward and impossible to handle. People who are ignoring your feelings(don't ask you how you feel and keep spamming you with their BS) deserve to be left alone for a bit to think about what they've done.
I want to continue your question as I am feeling in a similar way about not only people I know , but the people who claim to be my best friends for years. For a very long time I was very shy to speak about my feelings infront of them but was always very good at listening to them and giving them advice and support. That's how people always liked me and liked hanging out with me and respected me. But they NEVER cared about me more than that would make them feel better about themselves. What I meen is they percieve our friendship as a way of showing off their successes and the advice they give me as a way of showing off how wise they are and how hard they have/have had it going. And after that I see how they don't really care too much about what happens to my feelings but about what THEY did to help me and how my success is their success , but my failure is my own...
What hurts me is that I have the power to stop caring about those people who I LOVE but I WILL NOT. I want them to see further than themselves and start listening. Because they never listen for my problems when we are having a converation , instead they listen for an association of my problems with theirs so they can interrupt me and start using MY problems as examples to how theirs are much greater and how poor and helpless they are compared to mine. The reason I believe is because I don't like torturing others with my misery. I always try to smile and look positivly at things and would only resort to sharing when I rly feel depressed. Whenever I get pissed off at my friends for being ignorant they often get agressive and would try to make me feel unimportand so they get back in the light where everyone is giving them attention and they are the important ones. They would also make rude jokes about my problems for the same purpose.
I am mostly talking about my best friend as I don't need the enitre world's attention plus I am the kind of person who doesen't open easily but now that I am starting to , I am finding people to be little b*****s . He really does have problems that society would call "more important" but this has been going on for years and I feel like it's safe to call him selfish. And he's not the only one.
I can keep talking and talking about how people are selfish bastards , but the truth is that they know how to do good and have the potential to. What should I do??
Being ignored can be a very cruel form of bullying. Not as obvious as making hurtful remarks, but often considered to do greater psychological damage than other forms of abuse because it denies the existence of the target, which damages self-esteem.
AnonnyGuy, I do not know what you have against 'shrinks'. They are essentially a professional friend. I do relate to your problem though. I have difficulty making friends, or even identifying who my friends are. I hope you arrive at a solution.
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