How to tell if it's autism or sociopathy

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I started a relationship with a man who told me he was autistic. It did not end well. At the beginning he came right out and told me he never chased his prey, only waited for it to stop running, then he ripped it's throat out. I thought that was a challenge to understand him, but now I think it was a promise.

I notice a lot of avatars on aspie/autistic sites are wolves, and that's his persona, too. I am on the spectrum myself, so it's very hard to to gauge people, though, being smart I pride myself on being able to spot a liar. Turns out, very smart people are smart enough to lie and quick enough to cover if one peeks out.

I am happy back in my space with just me. It had been 15 years since my last failed relationship. Married twice, suffered terribly through two separations and swore to be true to just me after that, but I weakened and paid the price of deep depression, crying for a couple of months, self doubt.

See, I thought it was particularly cruel, because after a 5 month ehternet courtship I flew overseas to meet him. Signs and portents, angels singing, ta da. It was perfect. I came home and he proposed. Within a week of me telling my family, work (even putting in retirement papers for the fall) he said he'd been hasty and a woman who could help him with his business and who and old friend was handy would suit
him better. He added that surely i could see how much better that would be for him.
I wanted to know what the heck had just happened, but he warned me not to overload him.

His ex-friend, whose family that same man had almost broken up, charmingly, of course told me that he is not autistic, grabs onto to others and uses them up, etc.

I need insight, because when i compare the symtoms of autism with sociopath or psychopath, they sound very similar.

No offense, intended. But, let me have it if I deserve it!

Here's a page that explains quite well the difference.

http://www.autism-world.com/index.php/2 ... -syndrome/

NTs, Auties and Sociopaths are all capable of doing horrible things though.

"The main characteristics of sociopaths are Grandiose Sense of Self, Pathological Lying, Shallow Emotions, Impulsive Nature, Unreliability and Parasitic Lifestyle. If this disorder is not treated in childhood, it can develop into adulthood. Treatment for antisocial personality disorder is usually through group psychotherapy"

I still don't know, but since he doesn't give a rat's arse, it's really a moot point, now. I have the urge to tear up now and then, from disappointment or self-pity, not sure which, but I trust in time. My daughter said he lifted me way up, seemingly intentionally, and then body slammed me. The funny thing is, it would have just been a fun adventure with him if he'd left it that way. That's the part that makes me really wonder.

hi there,

just read the book "how narcissistic tick" by kathleen krajco, and then you will understand psychopaths, sociopaths, narcissists, and you will also know that autistics are a lot different.

For example: autistics are very bad in manipulating other people, but those are very good at it. they are perfect in recognizing and doing body language.

bye
anton

I just started reading a fascinating PDF about narcissism that describes every single second of what I experienced. The worst part for me is that my father, my son and his son are all autistic. He used that against me to manipulate and hurt me, as I already knew that autistic people do not lie. I just made it so easy for him! It must have been a delightful experience for him. I am 61 and he is 60, so he's a real pro by now.

I will never again say that you should trust people until they prove you wrong. Trust must be earned. Evil people. Who knew?

It's a myth that autistic people do not lie, most don't but some do. It's also a myth that all people on the autism spectrum are all good honest people, many are, but many are nasty screwed up individuals. Being autistic does not make one immune to being unpleasant. Autism does not discriminate and can co-exist with any other disorder including sociopathy. I knew an NT woman who had 3 children all autistic with her ex-husband who displayed all of the traits of AS alongside some truly malicious behavior, he really did make her life a living hell and seemed to enjoy it. Not all aspies are saints, we are just as varied as the NT population. I highly recommend Donna Williams brilliant book: The Jumbled Jigsaw.

http://www.amazon.com/Jumbled-Jigsaw-In ... 1843102811

hi alane,

i assume you are refering to my link?
I think its pretty common that autistics fall prey to narcissistic psychopaths. I work since 5 years here, and it is a reign of terror, now finally I read this book too, and finally finally understand all this behavior of him. I think autistics are the easiest prey, they have few experience with people, don't notice social cues, and so on. Therefore, I think it happens very often, that autistics get manipulated by them.

I am happy, that my link helped you ,

best wishes,
anton