I despise my workplace

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Hi,

Just venting...the office where I work is small, but so unprofessional. I am always on the front line so-to-speak, because I am the first person customers talk to when they call in. I've been there for over 6 years now, & haven't had a raise in 5. My boss hates me & throws me under the bus every chance he gets. I know part of the problem is me & my personality aka Aspergers. I don't get subtle cues...I know I don't get them, but I can't talk to him about it because his response is to yell at me & slam his fist down on his desk. Yesterday, our guy who handles service issues wasn't answering his phone. Now this is nothing new....he's usually too busy messing with his iPhone, wears ear phones, etc to tune out everything. My boss never gives him a hard time. Nor did he get into trouble for looking at "racy images" at work using his work computer, even though he was blatantly doing it in front of 3 female co-workers. We were all told to avert our eyes if we didn't like it. I don't get it. So anyway, people were getting mad because they'd call in to speak to someone about service stuff, & I'd transfer them, & he'd let it roll over to voice mail. Now some of these people had no problem calling in 10-20 times & they hang up if I'm assisting another customer or can't get to my phone for whatever reason. So my boss tells me to send the next 3 callers over & I did, & he then calls me into the office to rip me a new one. I am beyond frustrated. He never gives me instructions when he's calm but starts yelling at me & threatens me. I am so fed up with being treated like the bad guy. I am tempted to tell the next customer who complains to me that my co-worker will not be reprimanded nor fired (he's the golden boy who can literally do no wrong). If he/she wants to get someone fired just for satisfaction that person would be me. I'm the one who will be thrown under the bus. I'm also the only one who gets treated this way....everyone else gets respect. I've had other co-workers yell at me too. It's so bad that it's affecting my health, my sanity, & my outside relationships. I'd quit, but I don't have a lot of skills & my people skills suck. It took me a long time to get this job, & it's going to be even more stressful being that I have tons of competition with people who have better qualifications & better people skills.

Tomboy

Look for another job while you still work there--employers would much rather hire someone that is currently employed by someone else.

Previous poster is right.

Side notes :

*Golden boy might just be related to boss (usually it works out this way), Employee A gets mad at Employee B for being lazy - but employee B is lazy because the boss is his uncle/tells uncle and employee A gets fired.

*No job is worth that much trouble. I have been going to a job every 6 months for a year in a half, the previous time I went I was treated unfairly/had a unfortunate anxiety attack because of it. (I will not be returning.)...

*No raise for 5 years probably just means he's a cheapskate and knows you'll work for whatever he gives you. On top of the yelling I'd figure that means his wifes cat means more to him than you do.

But take into my account my work is more flexible than yours. If they do something horrific on a job where I'm at I can give them the finger, go home and make a few calls/be working again somewhere else.

Maybe you should get in touch with someone from the human resources department or a labor rights organization and complain about this behavior, since you're being treated unfairly, it's creating a hostile work environment and it's affecting your health. It may be in your best interest to seek a diagnosis if you have not already, but that decision is entirely yours.
Definitely start looking for a new job, especially one that allows you some autonomy and a comfortable level of social interaction. If you stay there for too much longer, you'll just eventually want to go postal.

Golden boy is not blood related to the boss. The boss however has taken him under his wing. Golden boy can disappear for hours at a time with no fear that his job may be in jeopardy. Where as "crap girl" can do absolutely nothing right in the boss' eyes. So how do I find another job when this one is 9-5 & I barely have energy to get me through the day? As I said, I'm having serious health issues...chest pain/anxiety/etc.

We don't have an HR dept either. As I said, this is a very small company.

Then I'd either see if you have any right to legal recourse for this under existing labor laws, quit and go on unemployment/disability, and/or seek therapy/vocational rehab/temporary placements. If you got diagnosed with AS/an anxiety disorder/etc., you might get access to therapies/medications that could help you stay at your current job for a while longer.

I so wish I could get a DX. Unfortunately, shrinks take one look at me & within 5 minutes time are saying I am bi-polar/severely depressed. I only got close to a DX about 10 years ago when a shrink actually used the standard DSM IV ( not the newer version) & gave me a Rorschach test too. She couldn't come up with a conclusive DX but she did say there was something "off" about me. Sadly Aspergers was something I did not know about until quite recently, but that's got to be it.

That part is good for the resume. Now, there is a case for quitting rather than getting fired because if you get fired, he might feel the need to justify the lie and keep believing the bad thing about you. Or, on the other hand, even if he fires you, he might give you a good recommendation. People are funny, almost impossible to predict.

There is a way to soft quiting (really half-quitting, and don't let anyone tell you it's not quitting because the job might really go away) 'I have to take time off for a family situation. I can't tell you more than that.' <--This is a lie, but the way they've been treating you, this is a deflecting lie, a face-saving lie, a lie of self-defense, I think it would be justified (whether or not it would be effective is another question)

It is a bad economy. Disability payments that takes a while. Please keep that in mind and trust your gut instincts. And I quite understand, besides the sheer time, the job being a major drain on any kind of positive energy.

And the good side, if you can weather this dysfunctional, nonfunctional, everything else work place, just think what a breath of fresh air a good workplace will be.

I'm afraid that your boss is an abusive jerk who will never change, and he will continue to treat you like doormat for as long as you work there. Your only option is to quit and find another job. If you worked for a large, major corporation, I would recommend that you sue the jerks for harassment --viewing porn at work is blatant sexual harassment. Alas, because you work for a small company you are unlikely to find a lawyer willing to take your case.

For some strange reason it is often easier to find a job when you already have one, but I understand how difficult it is to look for a new one given your current circumstances. In either case, when you interview for another job, the potential employer will likely ask why you are looking for a new job / why you left your old one. You should try to say something positive (e.g. "I felt like I was going around in circles. I didn’t see any new opportunities. I’m someone who functions on enthusiasm" < http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0279065/ >) rather than telling them the truth. If you do not think you can pull that off, and/or if saying something positive does not seem to be working for you, and/ or you are worried that your current/ former boss will give a bad reference, you could briefly mention that you are being harassed at work. In particular, one of your co-workers is viewing porn in front of everyone, and your boss refuses to do anything about it. (Keep it short --don't mention the other problems.) Most potential employers will recognise this as the sexual harassment it is, see your boss's response as very unprofessional, and understand why you have/ had to leave. (Unfortunately, they may also see you as a complainer, and not hire you.)

The first job I had after I left university was awful (although it was not as bad as what you are going through). I tried to find another job, but I was too tired and depressed. After a few years, I had saved up some money, so I quit and moved. I then spent a couple of months recovering before looking for work. I initially approached temping agencies and told them I was seeking temporary work while I continued to look for permanent work in my field. (This is fairly common, so they are used to it.) When they asked why I left my old job, I told them it was because I wanted to move back home (I moved to the country of my birth). It took a couple of tries, but eventually I found an agency that was willing to sign me up and find me work. I did temporary work for them for about a year, before I found a permanent job elsewhere. Because the agency was my most recent employer, they were able to serve as an employment reference.

I really hope you can find a new, better job soon. Take care.

The JAN lists references to the Am. with Disabilities Act. Also keep looking for a therapist who can spell Asperger. I'm seeking accom. at my present job.