I don't know what to do!

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Please help me you guys. I'm trying to figure out what my problem is here.

I'm 25, but I don't have any kind of 'jest' for life. I don't know what I want to do, personally or otherwise. I mean I have all these plans you know, like, personal projects that I would really like to work through and SEE ACCOMPLISHED, but for many of these tasks, they are a big thing to take on and require learning and practicing a bunch of new skills. First, the problem happens in that I don't know what I want to do first - my plans are all over the place. I jump from one idea to the next, never concentrating on one for too long, usually because I get frustrated and stuck. I always see the big picture, the final thing in my head, and how great that would be, and that's why I go for it, totally clueless to just how much work and individual steps are required to do what I want to do. I end up trying to 'go for it', jump right into it, and then I get discouraged to learn that I need to learn more about this before I get anywhere with it. But the bigger issue is that I don't know HOW or WHERE to learn these things.

But why do I feel so panicked about these projects? That's no way to have fun with it. Why does it worry me how much time it will take to learn these things? Maybe because most people expect that I should have graduated college and be in my career by now, but yet I put college on hold because it was too stressful, and I have trouble figuring out just what exactly I want the most, and HOW to get it. Maybe I feel rushed, because NOW, in fact, all these years after highschool I have wasted. I should have accomplished some of these projects and gotten it out of my system so that I could move onto the rest of life. But I haven't even be socialising either, and well, you know how hard it is to meet people and sustain a conversation as an AS individual.

I'm just so STUCK. I even read this book recently about the Law of Attraction and how to get everything you want out of life. But the problem is it was far too vague about the actual 'HOW TO FEEL GOOD' steps! You are supposed to remain positive more often, and FEEL good, FEEL happy, and feel excited about things! But I battle between emotions of depression and 'meh-ness'. Whenever I feel good, I don't know how to make it last very long, and I'm certainly not enthusiastic enough about anything to feel excited and keep it there.

What's my problem? How do I fix me? How will I ever get any success and happiness in life when I can't prioritise, can't focus, can't break things down into steps, and can't remain positive? Does anyone have any idea what the problem is and what I can try to do about it?

The problem sounds like you fear living life, you FEAR MAKING DECISIONS, you feel bad about any decision you make like you've made the wrong one, you're TRYING TO BE PERFECT. That's your issue, you need to stop trying to be perfect and STOP deciding with your feelings. Your feelings are NO GUIDE to happyness, find something you can tolerate doing in the interim because the fact is you can't live your life forever in indecision at some point you must BITE THE BULLET and live.

You need to first have a 3rd party assess your abilities and whether or not you are even able to handle university, go take the WAIS intelligence test at a registered psychologist or have one of the universities do an asessment on you to see if you are even cut out for it. If you are not you need to stick to something more along the lines of a trade or technical college.

The other problem is you want these big ideas but you do not want to have to endure the psychological pain involved in doing the work and sacrificing the time because most likely you have other areas of your life that are unbalanced as well (socially, girlfriend/wife possibly?), next you need friends to keep you from withdrawing into your own head and going indecision mode forever.

I have some of these problems. A lot of it is related to "executive function" I believe.
In looking at the way I have lived my life and the way my friends have, it seems that the big difference is I follow my own inspiration, and it can be very fickle and unpredictable.
Whereas my friends, picked something that they thought would be a good career path and then did all of the little steps to get there. Some of them have changed jobs several times though, and seem to be just as unsatisfied, others are quite succesful in what they do.
But I recognize that this is my main problem, I see the big picture, and can not quite see all of the little steps, and what the best path to take would be.
It's good to recognize this though, because now I feel I can watch out for it, and focus on improving my long term planning.

being overwhlemed by tasks is ana spie thing, and also aspie inertia or an inability to grasp manythings at once is also another..well another aspie thing.
we all go through this as aspies.
how do we get through it?
i think we need someone like a mentor a parent or a girlfriend, i have a pa to lead us through what to do, break down through the overstim and tell us the relevant things to concentrate on, once we do this i am like an aspei unleased and can accomplish more than non aspies, until it is pointed ou t to me, ijust dont see it.

Some people get mad when you try to dx them on the net or offer medical advice
so hopefully you want get mad. You sound just like me. Inattentive ADD (ADHD-I)
could explain unable to finish project or stay focused on one idea for long. I tend
to prefer to daydream all day long. Myself I'm taking no medication for it but I feel
a stimulant such as dexedrine is what I need. I've tried non-stimulants for ADHD
such as welbutrin and found it was useless. I pretty sure if I get treated for ADHD
with the right meds I will get some work done. I bet the same is true for you.

I like to make lists of the steps i need to do to accomplish my goals. This is what i'm trying to do cuz i tend to procrastinate and put things off to the last possible moment. It seems more managable if you break it down to baby steps. Also you get a sense of accomplishment as you cross off the items on your list.

Thanks for the imput you guys.

Well first off, I do believe I have a fear of life. A fear of living but also a fear of not living, it is like a lose-lose situation facing me from all directions. I don't care about find a job right now, I can't seem to succeed in college or even know what aspects I most want to learn, I can't seem to meet people, I am lacking in almost all areas of my life! So its no wonder I feel horrible. But I know also I am very bright and creative and inspired, I just don't seem to know how to prioritise and put plans into action and go-to things, which stops me from alot.

I definitely have an attention/inertia problem. I don't know if thats actually common in Aspies or if Aspies are likely to also have Attention Deficit and its the ADD itself that is doing that to me, but the Inattentive ADD sounds EXACTLY like me, sans for a few bits - for instance I am an excellent listener.

Either way, I shouldn't be worried or pressured by society that 'I have to be starting my career by now'! Etc etc. I have to fix my issues FIRST before I can handle any kind of area of stress and responsibility. I think my Doctor was making an appointment for me to see someone who can diagnose me, and I really hope that will happen soon so that I can get treatment. I really don't want to get into medications though..... only natural HEALTHY organic vitamins and suppliments, I'm sure there must be stuff that helps the brain to concentrate and the body to have energy and these sorts of things that can help. I'm thinking about going to a Natural Healing place for advice on this. Lol I sound like such a hippy these days, but the natural way is really the healthiest.

As for the check lists/to-do lists, yes, I already use them and I would be pretty much lost without them. But its still not perfect..... I end up making these lists too huge that I can not reasonably check anything off for a while. I often write down large idea lists that have a check box beside it, and then I can see ALLLLLL that I want to do, and looking at it all makes me a bit sad that I don't see anything checked off, seeing as how many things I want to do need to REALLY be broken down further. I mean if I made a different, daily to-do list, thats fine, its like "Phone the doctor, respond to emails, Go to bank" and thats easy to do it, it helps my day flow productively in that sense. But when it comes to something alot bigger and more complex, it would be harder to break it down into a step by step check list, and doing so might make it seem even more overwhelming somehow. I always get bogged down by knowing how MUCH there is to do and freaking out. If I only just pay attention to ONE STEP AT A TIME, I could do it, but somehow my brain refuses to work in such a logical, sane manner.

I also really have a problem with feeling like I really want to do something, and then i go and try to figure it out, and I either get bored and/or frustrated easily and I think to myself 'why do I want to do this again?'. And I never ride it off like 'nah, changed my mind'. Its ALWAYS there, added onto my never ending project list, but things that should be really fun and interesting are somehow a huge chore if I really don't know what I'm doing (and I have to learn first).



Maybe what I'll do is (in addition to getting diagnosed), I'll just look at ONE project. And I'll completely think it over and put the plan into an order and figure out what is the step by step process. Each step I'm gonna write on individual pieces of paper so that I'm not seeing the OTHER steps until I'm ready for em.

I'm also going to check out some Attention Deficit help books.

If you do a google search for "ADD Forum" about the third hit will be a link to
an ADD forum site I've been reading and posting on. I'm sorry to say your unlikely
to get the help you need from anything other than rx drugs. And likely only stimulants. One natural product worth taking is fish oil. I take 6 x 1000mg gel
caps a day (in 3 doses with meals). Give it atleast a month. But its not going to
be enough. The reason I mention this is I do not want you to waste months and years on things that want help.

Hmm..... interesting....

What kind of stimulants are usually recommended? I thought stimulants were bad for you! lol. I am a regular iced tea drinker but I try not to have it all the time. I feel worse when I don't drink it but I can't say that on its own is really helpful either.

Fish Oil huh? I'll definitely have to get that in supplement form, because I HATE fish most of the time. Really well smoked I like and sometimes Fish and Chips but thats about it.

Yeah what is usually the case is individual things can help but to have multiple supplements that help that part of the brain, and to give it time, can help even more. I think there is ADD drugs that are natural. I found on the net something called 'Focus ADDult' or something, but, I hope there is a cheaper way to find a solution, because since ADD can't really be CURED it is something you have to continuously treat with your diet for the rest of your life! Atleast I think thats how it works eh?

Thanks, I will see if I can find that forum too.

Yeah I have searched quite abit for any over-the-counter treatment for ADHD.
That funny you mentioned ice tea I have a glass right by me! Caffiene is very
effective at treating ADHD but it has serious side effect profile at the effective
dose. It can make your heart pound to the point of being dangerous. Oh drinking
tea or cola one is unlikely to get larges amounts of caffiene.

Nicotine is effective in the same way as caffeine but it boost blood pressure and
nicotine patches are very expensive.

Yeah there is something called FocusFactor in the US the ADD forum I mentioned has a sticky thread in which it mentions its not effective.

Yeah I take 6 x 1000 mg gelcaps of fish oil. In 3 divide doses with meals. One
theory is the fats in fish oil are high in the brain and over time you brain cells
will replace membrane fats with fish oil fats impoving nerve commuication.

No question stimulants have risk and side effects. But people who have ADHD
and who take the dose their doctor prescribes them have few problems. You
might be one of the lucky people that a non-stimulant like Wellbutrin will
work for. My guess is your doctor will first try a number of non-stimulants on you
first. But they work for a much smaller number.