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Jet102fm
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21 May 2011, 2:30 pm

Well, I have decent almost-good social skills and I want to know how I can handle talking or acting around girls next. Is there any advice on this forum?



Erisad
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21 May 2011, 2:41 pm

Never ask a girl about her weight

Apart from that...treat her like a human being. Don't put us on a pedestal but don't treat us like dirt either. I don't know what else to say really. :)



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21 May 2011, 2:46 pm

Do not express thoughts of violence.

Listen attentively, and don't interrupt.

Do not try to manipulate the topic of conversation to sex - she will know what you are up to.

Display your 'gentlemanly' manners, even when she asks you to stop.

If you ask her out, expect to pay for everything.

If she asks you out, expect to pay for everything.

Provide your own transportation - remove the empties from the back seat, and run the vehicle through the car wash.

Bathe, dress nicely, stand up straight, and chew with your mouth closed.


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21 May 2011, 3:01 pm

Obviously, you should treat girls completely differently than guys. Girls are completely different than guys. Not only that, but you should treat every girl the same, since girls are all the same.

If you can't tell that I'm being sarcastic, well... my apologies, but it really should be obvious.


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Erisad
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21 May 2011, 3:03 pm

MrLoony wrote:
Obviously, you should treat girls completely differently than guys. Girls are completely different than guys. Not only that, but you should treat every girl the same, since girls are all the same.

If you can't tell that I'm being sarcastic, well... my apologies, but it really should be obvious.


:lmao: :hail:



Sweetleaf
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21 May 2011, 3:32 pm

Fnord wrote:
Do not express thoughts of violence.

Listen attentively, and don't interrupt.

Do not try to manipulate the topic of conversation to sex - she will know what you are up to.

Display your 'gentlemanly' manners, even when she asks you to stop.

If you ask her out, expect to pay for everything.

If she asks you out, expect to pay for everything.

Provide your own transportation - remove the empties from the back seat, and run the vehicle through the car wash.

Bathe, dress nicely, stand up straight, and chew with your mouth closed.


I don't know I am a female......and I think thoughts of violence can be entertaining and I would not be bothered if a guy mentioned such thoughts within limits, obviously I would not be cool with them plotting to kill me.

I do not enjoy gentlemanly manners, I like to be treated decently.....but I don't want it overdone, and I dont want a dude trying to impress me by focusing on being gentlemanly rather then being themself.

I like to pay for things sometimes, and do not expect the guy to always pay for everything.

Well I don't even have a car so I can't expect anyone I attempt a relationship to have a car let alone their own car.

And I personally would be more attracted to a dude wearing and Iron Maiden shirt, ripped jeans/shorts and long hair then a dude wearing the type of clothing one may wear to a job interview or to church with short nicely combed hair.

Point being there is no set of rules that will tell one how they should act around the opposite gender as everyone has different taste.



mathesis
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21 May 2011, 3:41 pm

Depends on the girl, but this has worked about me:

- Pay attention to them no matter how silly is what they're saying, ask questions about what they are telling you, this will make you appear as you're interested.

- Be nice, but not too nice, tease them a bit. Compliment and tease!

- Make them laugh

- Talk about their interests

- Don't talk about yourself if they don't ask, you can occasionally do this but be moderate

- Be relaxed and confident, this is hard but you can maximize this parameters with practice and exercise.

hope this helps. cheers.



ben10scotland
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21 May 2011, 7:07 pm

I think the main thing is to not be violent,don't use obscene (ie overtly sexual) words, or swear

dress in a way so that no one would mind, Ie jeans and casual shirt, not insipid jeans eg White or light blue and not cheap shirt

dress so you feel confident in what your wearing, cut all the threads off your clothes in advance

most importantly, work out who it is you are going to be going out with
and what they are like beforehand,

if they are hung up on another guy, just leave them
they're going to remain single and just push away other guys expecting
to be with someone who doesn't like them

don't go out with someone who 'just learned to walk' (girls) or is high maintenance
who would make a list an judge you against it or someone who relies on recommendations from her friends on who to date.

by and large everyone is different, the best thing is to know the person as a friend first (not always possible though)
and go out on the assurance that you'll always still be friends no matter if things work out or

be honest, genuine and friendly- be yourself. I never have much success asking girls out though- the girls I meet just want sex (and I always say no)

the girls that do the whole come on thing, while often attractive are either too young, are too subtle so it's not clear that they are definitely interested or just don't have that great a personality
when I'm looking my best I can see it 3 to 5 times an afternoon in a busy city, it gives you a confidence boost but doesn't go anywhere.

anyone else find that- wonder what the girls think



BlueMage
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23 May 2011, 2:44 pm

Be confident and fun. Don't try to please or placate women, especially if they are being unreasonable. Have the attitude of "I am fine just the way I am."



parrow
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23 May 2011, 4:54 pm

A good actor can get things. I've known a few of them. They are pro's. They act just how the girl wants until they've gotten what they want and then they move on to the next girl.

I've known a few people who attempted to act their way into long term relationships. One friend of mine lives a double life, he acts one way around his wife, and another around his friends. His life is full of lies and deception. We were out on a hunting trip drinking and smoking, and he mentioned that if his wife ever found out what he was doing she'd take his kid and leave him. If he wants keep his wife he'll have to keep up the double life, lies, and deception forever. But eventually it will catch up to him.

I never acted any way for a girl. I was turned down a lot and laughed at a lot, but I found a girl who accepted me for me. I got married at 18 and EVERYONE told us we were stupid and it wouldn't last. We've been married for 18 years now. All those people who told us we were stupid and all those girls who turned me down are now divorced, bankrupt, have custody battles for their kids, and live miserable lives.

So I say don't act any certain way for girls. Treat them nice and be yourself. Thats it. If you've got strange special interests or weird habits, hiding them will only work in the short term. Your much better off long term to be yourself. And then as soon as you meet a girl who accepts you as you are, don't pass her up.



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23 May 2011, 8:18 pm

BlueMage wrote:
Be confident and fun. Don't try to please or placate women, especially if they are being unreasonable. Have the attitude of "I am fine just the way I am."


Definitely this. As well, take interest in them and their lives. Ask them questions about themselves, and pay them compliments.


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23 May 2011, 10:04 pm

Girls are very much like humans. Try keeping that in mind when talking to them.


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CrinklyCrustacean
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24 May 2011, 4:12 am

Who_Am_I wrote:
Girls are very much like humans. Try keeping that in mind when talking to them.

This.



Afr0
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24 May 2011, 7:04 am

The answer to "Do I look fat in this dress?" is never what you think it is. And for the love of everything (w)holy, don't answer "yes"!



Xayah
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24 May 2011, 8:06 am

Honestly, just think of them as guys with boobs.

I'm a female, but the best way to close to us (and for girls to get close to guys) is to chat like you would to a friend or colleague. Act like there's no agenda, you're just a friendly guy making conversation (and I'm not saying you're not that, but it can be hard to remember when you are talking to the girl you like, I know!) Over time as you get to know each other better, chemistry may emerge. If not, you have some awesome new female friends who know other females who may be interested in you.



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25 May 2011, 2:14 am

Jet102fm wrote:
Well, I have decent almost-good social skills and I want to know how I can handle talking or acting around girls next. Is there any advice on this forum?


I guess my answer is, why do you feel you have to talk or act special around them? Generally, ways you should not be acting around a girl, or things you shouldn't say around a girl, you should act or say period.