Do you think this is was good judgment on my part?

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This took me A LOT of guts but i decided

Yesterday i entered this reception area of a travel agent with my friends since we might go travelling around the country in a. there was a girl i liked the look off working behind the desk in the reception area. Me and my friends approached her and one of my friend ssaid to her "Hello we are here to pick up a leaflet" i then kinda leaned forward and put my on hands on her desk and "And anything else we can get our hands on" i did this in a kind of seductive manner and grinned at her. she gave me an emotionless stare and then she looked annoyed". My friends started laughing at me and i walked away. I was so embarresed but at least i gave it a shot.

i was very VERY nervous doing this but i wanted too try and behave more like a man and not be so shy too talk

do you think i did the right thing?

Going by what you described of her reaction, you probably stuffed it up.

One of the main things is not to approach a female at her place of work, perhaps only do that if she shows a real interest in you otherwise she's going to refuse and it could be awkward in future.

If she was nice you could have flirted with her and looked at her reaction but do it subtly this time. Dont say anything that could imply you wanted to get physical with her - what would her colleagues think if she did react in the way you wanted to your suggestion, it wouldn't look too professional.

Anyone in their place of work should be nice to you anyway so main thing is to determine if shes just doing her job or really flirting - and some people are just nice people anyway to everyone who doesnt upset them first. [like me]

If someone in their place of work shows a real interest in you and you seem to get on really well an option could be to leave your first name and phone number discreetly with her [already written down].

Guess others viewpoint would be worthwhile, leave it a few days and go in with a friend and apologise when shes not with serving someone, perhaps say you realise now that it seemed inappropriate. It might not eliminate any awkwardness completely but should allow you to get by.

She seemed really cold [stuck up type possibly] so prob avoiding her would be a good idea, apologising wont do any harm - leave it a few days first and if she gets upset just walk away.

Main thing to remember is that looks are only superficial and that what really counts is personality, a girl that looks ok with a great personality and who is nice to people is a lot more attractive than someone who looks really pretty.

Well I disagree and I think you did a great thing. The only thing is an obvious flirtation like that should be accompanied by a grin, to show you're not a serious creeper. She should have just laughed and joked back instead of acting cold. She could have said, "You wish!" and laughed back at you. I think you're very brave to try it. I wish she'd just gone along with the joke instead of given you a cold shoulder and acted stuck-up.

Maybe she wasn't really annoyed.

Maybe she actually loved it but didn't want to show him that she was "easy".

Unfortunately for Jamesy, neither of us were there to see what the reaction was really like. So we can't really know.

this is the look she gave me after i made the comment


http://tiny.cc/1m55k

I'm glad that you built up the courage to try but I would think that it wasn't appropriate to do this at her place of work.

Also, if she was attractive, she's probably had a lot of unwanted male attention. Unwanted male attention can lead a woman to get very angry when there has been too much.

Did you go into her personal space? If your hands were too close to her when you leaned in, you could have made her very uncomfortable because your lean in would have really been in 'her' space.

Personally, that approach wouldn't have worked with me either though because I have a fear of males who I don't know (especially if they speak in a blatent sexual fashion) because of a misunderstanding that lead to a guy ignoring my persistant use of the word no. If the lady in the travel agency had a similar bad experience with males, any attempt to pick her up might have little chance of success regardless of presentation.

she was not glamorous since i am below average looking myself and am attracted to women who are on the same attractivness level as me.

my friends could not understand why i was attracted her in the first place.

It's good that you tried, remember next time though that at places of work to be subtle, overt flirtation at a persons own workplace is not the best idea.

If she felt she was unattractive there is the possibility that she thought you were mocking her and no one likes the feeling of being mocked. Especially if she catagorised you and your pals as more attractive than herself. Attractiveness is subjective, mostly everybody has a different viewpoint (even if it's just a little difference for some people).

yes, especially since the OP was with his friends. he used the word "we", which makes it sound like a joke... or the invitation to a "group activity".

i think it's better to approach someone like that whilst alone (or hang back after the friends leave), and keep it friendly without implying too much in a sexual way. not all women respond to teasing like that right off the bat.

I agree about not approaching women at their place of work. For all you know, her boss could have been nearby, and she was afraid of responding because of that. I used to get really, really annoyed with guys trying to flirt when I was at work, because I couldn't get into "social" mode when I was in "work" mode.

That was an obnoxious thing to do. The icy stare she gave you was because she would get fired if she swore at you.

That wasn't flirting. That bordered on sexual harrassment.

My first reaction was that it could be read as funny, depending on the other person's mood, but that may be my life phase more than reality ... I do see Janissy's point, too. I guess the common interpretation would be that you were being lewd, and having spent my younger years with men addressing my chest instead of my face, I have to admit that little is less attractive than a man who seems interested in only your body. People don't form relationships with bodies, they use them, and I had little interest in being used. If you want to show honest interest, you have to show interest in something above the neck.

A simple way to do that would have been to linger and ask her if she liked to travel, or if she had taken any of the tours. If she says yes you ask if she can share her experiences. If she says no you ask what she does enjoy. And so on.

I'm afraid slick lines rarely work outside of TV and in the movies. It's a super fine art to getting those right, and few have the talent. So ... Congrats on being brave, that is always worth celebrating, but now you've got to work on the content.

Why don't you just get a life janissy? It took guts to do that.

mmm...from how you felt both before and after.
both yours and her non verbal communication. Tho it will help me better if there what any clues you picked up from both your voices about things to back the other non verbal communication up.

Thanks for the picture, I got from that she might of disliked your seductive comment you make to her.

Also to add with her behind a desk that is psychologically speaking a defensive barrier to building the type of rapport you wanted with her. Plus the location, her work place also is a bit of a psychological defensive barrier as your on her home turf so to speak.

From the looks of things overall from that situation you have some very useful knowledge for future experiences like that. Just look at it from what you can learn from that to use in the future now!

yes, along those lines... as a teacher we learned that students' desks are a psychological extension of their personal space. i find the same thing to be true with my work desk.