They think I'm gay.

Post Reply New Topic

Although I'm not gay, I'm convinced that many people think I am, and yesterday I was the victim of a particularly nasty piece of 'homophobic' abuse. Reading various threads on the forum it's obvious that because of our circumstances and how we look and behave many Aspies are mistaken for being gay. I'd like to know if other people are often victims of abuse [once a week in my case] and in particular does anyone know what the legal situation is when you're heterosexual but are frequently the target of homophobic abuse?

OH YES!! !! From about middle school through now at age 44, many people assume I'm Gay while I'm not. I do have many friends who are, so that might have something to do with it today, I guess. I am very vocal about defending Gay people who are persecuted, and I don't like that kind of bullying. I suppose that some narrow-minded idiots might think that if I support and defend homosexuality as normal, I "must be myself"... Let 'em think that til they turn blue, for all I care. I used to be bothered by it, but since I find nothing wrong with homosexuality, I don't care if people think that, any more than if they think I like to eat pizza with mushrooms when I don't.

I do think that our Aspie behavior is very easy to mis-read as Gay "vibes", but I also notice that Gay people never seem to be the ones who think I'm Gay. It's usually straight boys & men who are in the "in-crowd", who think this. Some of them with thick skulls, won't change their views, but others will, once explained. To compound the confusion, especially in Texas and other old-fashioned conservative places, I have huge ear piercings and nipple rings, and they think those are also Gay items. Not in CA, and in fact I don't know any Gay guys with piercings, personally.

The best you can do, is go about your life and let people think whatever they want to think, as long as they don't act against you on it. If they do, then you have to defend yourself, which is the LAST thing I want to be pushed into as an Aspie.

Charles

When I was in high school, kids asked me if I was a lesbian. Mom told me it was because I am always by myself. But wouldn't I be with other girls if I was?

Even if I was with other girls, that still wouldn't mean I am because lots of women have friends that are females and lot of men have friends that are male.

But if people want to think I am a lesbian, they can go right ahead, it's not a bad thing if you are or not. The bad treatment is what matters, not what they think. Just as long as I don't get any bad treatment, I don't care what they think.

I'm gay anyway, so I'll just answer your legal question.

In the UK it's illegal to discriminate against someone because of their 'perceived' sexual orientation. That is, if someone assumes you're gay and discriminates against you because of that, they're breaking the law.

Unfortunately, I think that the law against discrimination on the basis of sexual orientation only applies in the workplace or when you are receiving goods and services. So, if somebody harrasses you on the street because they think you're gay, it doesn't count as discrimination. But, it's still counted as a hate crime, and harassment is illegal anyway, so they are still breaking the law.

I'm not sure of the law outside the UK, but I'm sure that harassment is a crime in other countries too (at least it should be).

While still at school, I used to get comments speculating that I was a gay. I did not really care. And I do not understand why some make such a big thing about it. For me, people are people, and their gender or sexual orientation are not the most important things.

Once a fellow male student wanted to kiss me. And afterwards he told some people that I certainly must be a gay, because I was such a good kisser.

I'm frequently mistaken for being gay. Even when I met the guy I would eventually marry, he thought he had no chance with me because he was sure I was gay.
I don't really have a single gender. I am predominantly male, but I have a female physical body. I believe it was so I could physically be with my husband (who is my soul mate) and so we could have our son.
If I looked the way I feel inside, I would be a gay male. So perhaps that is why I give off homosexual vibes?

Other kids started asking me if I was gay while still in elementary school. I kept telling them, "no, I am not gay". Then these same kids who would ask would tell others that because I was alone at recess most of the time I must be gay.

Those kind of comments didn't bother me then. They don't bother me now. Just... try not to "let it get to you". People who think you're gay and try to make a show of it are jerks not worth befriending, anyway.

A few people have thought I was over the years. Perhaps people sense something different which they cannot explain, or it could be because I don't personally identify very strongly with other men or what it is to be a man other than my physical gender and sexual orientation.

Idk if anyone said i was gay i would punch them. Punching people is my solution to all social issues

Yeah, real great solution you have there....

I think it's great for judgments because then it teaches people to keep their judgments to themselves. They be too afraid of getting punched.

my thoughts exactly

In the US, the criterion is whether you're perceived as belonging to a minority, rather than whether you actually are.

Back in my school days people said to me that i was gay but i just ignore it as its not really worth it as they are a bunch of losers really.

Ironically, when I lived in California, that was when I got the worst of it. Everyone but just two or three people thought I was gay, and they were trying to help me come out of the closet. As someones signature here says (sorry I can't remember the name), "My road to hell is paved with your good intentions."

I have a fear of homosexuality so I hope nobody thinks I'm a f*****g homosexual!