My friend may be suicidal?

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I've known this guy for about 3 years now. Over the years, I have grown to like him as another one of my brothers. Of course, he's been completely in love with me since he first laid eyes on me (or so he says). He's flattered me into dating him TWICE, and both have ended with us being "just friends" after my insisting. I really do love him, but not the way he wants. It's not like we've even gone on a date; the farthest we've gotten is holding hands.

That where all the troubles start.

He's told me he's hurt himself in the past, but he stopped when he met me. Then he got really depressed and possibly suicidal when we broke up. He got better when we started hanging out, then even better as we started "dating". Lately, it has been brought up that he gets suicidal when he can't see me often and that I'm one of the only things he lives for. He said that he has considered ending his life multiple times, and most of his reasons revolve around me. This happens to scare the living crap out of me. If he dies, it will be my fault. I couldn't bear to lose someone I care about so much. If he kills himself, I'm going to feel like a murderer. I WILL be a murderer.

It's not like I haven't given him a chance, but I don't want to date him. Sure I think he's cute, but he's more like a brother than a partner. It's for this reason I'm scared to bring it up with him or my parents or anyone. What if he's not allowed to come over anymore just because he's depressed (yes my stepdad would do that)? On the other hand, sometimes he kind of scares me. I'm afraid he's gonna hurt himself if I do something wrong, or if I do anything or nothing. What do I do?

The obvious answer is "Would you rather have a dead friend or lose him and keep him alive?" That's probably the blunt, straightforward answer I'd give. It's perfectly logical, but I'm so greedy I can't give up my best friend. Jeez, I have ruined this guys life....

I hate to say it but you need to cut him off. He sounds like he has some very serious issues and is trying to control you by threatening to hurt himself. It's actually a very strong indicator to someone who may try to abuse you (not physically usually) most likely verbally. Generally speaking people who try to manipulate others by threatening to kill and/or hurt themselves will not actually follow threw with the act once they realize that doing so will not get them what they want.
I used to have a friend like that and when I asked people about what to do that was what I was told. They were right, he got over it. Also even if he does hurt himself, it is never your fault. He's trying to bully you and by telling him/ "sorry I can't be that for you" you are standing up for yourself.

If he kills himself, it is down to his choice, and not down to you.
No-one can blame someone else for their choices. No-one.
He sounds, from your description, as if he has Borderline Personality Disorder...that is the way they tend to behave frequently, becoming very scared and panicky at any threat of 'abandonment' and acting out as a result, either due to emotional pain or as a means of making sure the person wont leave them (afterall, who would want to walk away and risk the person carrying out their suicidal suggestions? )

You really need to get into your head, that you are not responsible for his life or his choices, or really, his feelings.
Those things are in his hands and it isn't fair you should feel afraid to walk on and continue your own life, lest he take his life.

First off, if he ever did hurt himself or kill himself in no way at all is it your fault. EVER. You don't control him. His choices are his choices and you can't consider yourself responsible for him. Second, you haven't ruined his life. It sounds like he has some issues with depression and possibly other stuff. That is not your fault. There's really two possibilities with his threats: he's doing it to be manipulative and controlling, or he's serious. If it's option A, I would say cut him off. You don't want to deal with someone who pulls that kind of crap for attention. If it's option B, he needs some help, counseling or psychological evaluation. I'm assuming you go to school together? If that's the case next time he says he's going to hurt himself, tell a teacher or a school counselor. They usually take that stuff seriously, as they should. This takes care of both A and B. If he's faking, he's going to realize this is serious business and you can't just run around saying stuff like that. If he's for real, it'll get him the help he needs.

Well. Everything got better for like 4 minutes. He said he was willing to be just friends, then avoided me for days. I finally got it out of him that he was devestated that I wouldn't date him. After arguing about it for an hour, I finally asked if he'd still be my friend even though I wouldn't be in a romantic relationship. One long minute of awkward silence later, I hung up. I don't really ever want to hear about him again. Even my Mom thinks he's an idiot.

Just when I thought I was getting over my abandonment problems which he KNEW about. Now he's probably gonna kill himself and it'll be all my fault. I basically just deleted him from my life. It's like he was never here, only I feel like my stomach has been beaten in. I guess that could be because of my little crash earlier today, but it seems deeper than that.

So maybe that was a good idea and all, but now I'm kinda paranoid. He knows where I live and has volunteered to sneak out and see me before. I'm also terrified he's going to call me or text me or email me or whatever. I'm scared he's going to tell me he's killing himself or something and that its my fault. I told my mother and my last friend what was going on, but niether seem to think it's a big deal.

I wish I had never spoken to him. Now my trust in men is completely gone. Frankly, I'm just flat out scared to get close to anyone, but men will just turn around and hurt you again and again. They make you love them, then they attack. I hate them all. And now I'm a sexist pig. Lovely. At least I hate women too, so it all balances out. So I guess I'm just a jackass.

In two years I can move to the middle of Canada and never speak to another human again. I swear to God I'd fake my death just so that I could become a freaking hermit. I've ruined lives, probably killed a guy and hate everyone anyway. And I'm switching religions because I am a total failure in that too.

And to top it all off? I've got fricking internal bleeding. Hell yeah. I just LOVE the world right now.

Good news! Turns out my best friend has just been using me for years. He hasn't been suicidal. So just ignore this entire stupid post.