Problems showing happiness and issues smiling

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I've had people tell me before that I don't look happy to see, glad to see them, happy to hear from them, etc. The truth is, most of the time, I am happy to see or talk to my friends, as long as I don't feel pressured into it. I try to come cross as casual and happy with or without people, not letting them know that they have any power over my emotions. In reality, they do. I don't want them to know that they have this power. With girls, I regularly grin and laugh a lot, even when forced, so this primarily applies to my friends who are male. Though some girl I guess it does too. Not only that, even if I wanted to show I was happy to see someone, I wouldn't know what to say or do, aside from, 'Good to see you' or something like that. I also have issues with smiling, likely for a lot of the same reasons. I can smile, I fake it sometimes, but I don't like people knowing they hold power over me. I feel like smiling shows weakness.

Can anybody relate to any of this, or is this weird, even to Aspies?

Absofrickinglutely. Except for me it's the exact opposite. It's hard for me not to smile when I'm happy to see someone. I don't know how many times I've been teased in school for it, and it drives me nuts. I really hate it, I wish I had some sort of control over it, because, like you said, it feels like a weakness. I'm a man for frick's sake, I don't want to be seen as weak. This, combined with a difficulty to make eye contact, is probably the worst thing about having AS, at least for me. Sensory issues and meltdowns aren't a problem for me, and routines aren't that big of an issue, but this? It's frustrating as hell.

I don't have trouble smiling in fact I smile all the time, but I do have trouble laughing out loud. I can do a silent chuckle if I find something funny but I can never make any noise come out without it being forced. People seem to think that I'm being miserable when I don't laugh out loud with them but that's not the case at all. I don't know why it's so hard because its not something I do on purpose.

Why do you feel showing happyness is a sign of weakness? I find that people are generally more receptive to me if I smile at them. It makes you both relax a bit and then it's easier to converse.

I feel happy when I see people usually, but it doesn't show on my face. Smiling just doesn't feel natural to me, unless I'm laughing.

People often think I am not happy because I don't smile often. It is just something difficult for me to do, I can not laugh on command. I only smile when I am really happy and that just doesn't happen too often.

Besides that I have trouble controlling my muscles, so forcing to smile is really difficult for me.

Yes! I definitely have a hard time looking happy. It's very frustrating when people tell me that I look depressed when I feel perfectly fine.

In school, I was often accused of having a bad attitude, because I guess I don't show excitement either. I liked the very few extra activities I belonged to, but other people thought that I never wanted to be there.

[quote="Kookygirl"Why do you feel showing happyness is a sign of weakness? I find that people are generally more receptive to me if I smile at them. It makes you both relax a bit and then it's easier to converse.[/quote]

I know what you mean. Here is my take: smiling shows people that they have some form of power over my emotions. They have the power to make me smile, or make me happy. I can't let people know that they have this power, or they'll find a way to abuse it. So by saying it shows weakness, I mean it shows people they have power. Therefore, by not smiling, they don't think they have any power. Do you follow my train of thought there?

I don't smile alot of the time i'm happy but just don't show it outwouldly 24/7

I'm happy most of the time, but I think my facial expression just ends up looking creepy.

I have been told that when I laugh my eyes are pretty much expressionless....this is probably how it is when I smile to, so yeah its usually impossible for me not to come off as a bit weird.

By accepting money, I end up showing people they have the power to give me money. That's clearly a BAD thing, lol.

Due to the fact that I have Mick Avory's facial features, people have a very hard time telling if I'm happy or not. I do look like him in that respect, too.

I think there's a big difference in letting someone know they have power over your emotions versus taking money offered.

My last job interview, my mentality was locked on smiling as much as possible but despite trying my hardest to do this during the interview, I still failed. Near the end of the interview, the manager said "can I get a smile?" My mind was screaming "what the f**k are you talking about?! I spent this entire interview trying to meet your standards of smiling and it STILL WASN'T ENOUGH?! !!" It makes me angry how people had to point this out all the time. A guy behind the counter at Wendy's asked me why I looked so sad all the time. Excuse me, but it is not the job of customer service people to point out foibles about their customers.

I'm also like nikki. Smiling can't happen for me unless I laugh. This is why I have to think of something funny everytime a picture of me is to be taken.

I think there's a big difference between letting someone know that they make you happy and letting them know they have power over your emotions. Sure, happiness is an emotion but it is just one emotion, and it is not all-encompassing and representative of the other emotions expressed in other situations (And not all possible situations and their associated emotional responses, which is much larger in diversity.) and you still have the choice to control your emotions in those situations to optimize the outcome.

I have trouble smiling socially but I never felt it was due to a fear of being "controlled". I do not rationalize why it has been so difficult for me, "it just is so" really. Perhaps chronic depression and alienation in teenage years has "beaten it out of me" so to speak. I have little problem showing disgust or unhappiness, but problems showing positive feelings or social smiling? Very difficult.