I've been in an on and off relationship with my boyfriend (who has AS) for a year and a half now. I study abroad during the school year so we were 'off' when I wasn't home but we still talked everyday in my absence. Things have been going well with us since I got home but yesterday they went awry.
We had a really honest conversation. I wouldn't call it a fight but I left extremely upset and we haven't talked since. I know it's an aspie trait to be almost too honest, but some of the things he was saying really rattled me. I know he loves me, no doubt about that but I don't understand how he can while feeling these things.
He said that he's never stopped loving me but that there are some days he's just not feeling our relationship. I even got the sense of that just being around him because he's all over me one day and so happy, and others he just doesn't want to talk or touch me or hang out at all. He also said that he doesn't feel emotionally attracted to me on those off days but that he's always physically attracted to me. It was all just so odd- how can he say he loves me and then grow so distant at times?
He made the comparison to brownies, one of his favourite foods, by saying that he'll always love them but there are some days he just doesn't want to eat them. It's like he was saying he has a taste for me some days and others I'm just a 'bleh' factor.
Anyways, my question is- is this an Aspergian thing or is he just a confused guy? I understand that people with AS often need their alone time and that they can come off totally distant but I don't want to attribute this to that because I'm an NT and I really don't know enough about AS to make connections.
Please, someone, make sense of this.
Thanks!
03 Jul 2011, 3:37 pm
