Deleted my POF and OKC accounts

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A few months ago, I decided on a lark to register for some online dating sites. Not that I had any intention of actually dating anyone, but as something to do. Then comes reality. In the months after that, I had exactly 2 visitors to my profile. And despite sending scores of messages, no one replied. If I wanted to be ignored by women, I'd go back to high school.

POF is an awful place to meet women, since many of those users tend to be... not focused. The stupidest thing can prevent them from responding to you. Once I was IMing with a girl on POF. In the middle of our conversation, she viewed my profile, and our conversation abruptly ended.

The problem with dating sites is that the spontaneity of meeting people goes out the window. Every friend I've ever met I wasn't trying to meet. I just met them. Online dating expects you to create the circumstances on your own. Humans can't create a natural context, no matter how good you are. Some people can do it so well that it's hard to tell the difference, but those people don't need the Internet. If you were a girl, what would you respond to? Think of it like sifting through 30 job applications a day. What would stand out to you? I don't know myself. If I got 30 e-mails a day, I wouldn't know what to do.

I decided to delete my OkCupid account earlier this week. Thanks for reminding me. Now it's done.

I used POF for a couple years & used OKC for about a year & I never got a date but I found someone here by making a post about things when I was not trying to find anyone here & certainly wasn't expecting to. That's how I met my ex years ago; I made a post about being frustrated about things in my life that had nothing to do with relationships or lack of & she showed concern & we kind of hit it off. I would suggest talking about things on forums instead of looking on dating sites. I would also recommend avoiding POF forum because some of the women have a very hateful attitude towards men & the mods support it. A guy makes a post about how women are gold-diggers; it gets deleted & he gets a warning being told to read the rules without being told which rule he violated but when a woman makes a post about how men there are liars, cheaters & abusers; the mods have no problem

Actually, I just deleted my POF account too. While I was at it, I sent the POF team a false "success story" in which I quoted a song by Stan Rogers:

God damn them all!
I was told we'd cruise the seas for American gold
We'd fire no guns-shed no tears
Now I'm a broken man on a Halifax pier
The last of Barrett's Privateers.

The above lyrics from the song reflect how the young privateer was promised an easy fortune, but came home empty-handed. POF makes a similar promise, and rarely delivers.

Well u have to realize from the female perspective that a lot of the guys on those sites are just looking to get laid. And a lot of women Id guess, dont want that. A lot of NT women are trying to avoid meeting creeps. Unfortunately for u aspie guys, I can imagine a lot of them come across as creeps. While I know a lot of aspie guys are actually looking for relationships, if ur looking to get laid and ur not good looking, your gonna have little to no luck with that.

I met my husband on Plenty of Fish. We're separated so would I consider this a success? Failure? Both? All in the eyes of the beholder I guess!

It's very common for all normal guys on dating sites. Please don't beat yourself up about it or think it's exclusive to you. Women on dating sites have unrealisticly high standards and go for guys out of their league.. because they can. (as there are so many guys messaging them)

It's a lot worse than real life. From my experience.

Is there anything that's better than real life? Perhaps some version of real life where there's no recourse against failure?

Hello everybody... I am new to forums and signed up to this today... Just a couple of comments regarding POF and OKC.... both seem to be padded out with dead profiles.... lost count of the number of recommended matches or "quiver" matches who turn out to have not logged on for years.... 2007 2008.....

IMO, those that had not logged on for over a month were very unlikely to respond if they ever do log on again.... Those places seem very cold and unfriendly places and are only going to reduce one’s self esteem if taken too seriously!

It would also be interesting to know what the male to female ratio is on the average dating site..... and if the women on those sites have such a jaundiced attitude to the males , then why are they there in the first place?

I have never understood the “playing had to get” game either and have never returned for a second blow, if I have been knocked back by a woman! Their loss!! LOL

I am also dyslexic. I am quite self conscious about it and am disappointed to find no spell checker here? So it copy and paste for word again...........

Well, I tried OKC for 9 months now.

I have sent about 30 messages and got two returns. One was a polite thank you and the second was a reply about being too busy... my thought was she should have said what was wrong about me... not some excuse about being busy... otherwise she should not have been on that site. Argh.

Now I am trying another site. Got a few visitors. I will try that for a month and if that is the same I just stop.

Seriously, though, I wouldn't look too far into it. Sending messages out to random people is like a coin toss. And if only two people viewed your profile, it's not like people were coming on and deciding not to talk to you. Maybe you didn't put the right keywords on or something.