Good looking aspies. Do people bypass your aspergers

Post Reply New Topic

Im average looking. Not that I care. However, I notice my aspergers get's less noticed than my less than average looking friends.


Im curious if a good looking person with aspergers can show signifigant signs of asperger without being discluded from a group

The group in my school is one of the more flattering ones where no one is really that ugly. I'm also the only aspie in the entire school.

I don't know if I show "significant signs", but I suspect I get away with a lot more because I'm attractive (supposedly). Beats me half of the time why, but that's what people say.

What I think happens is that people make the assumption that good looking = nothing wrong. So, for example, it's very rare when someone will believe me when I say I'm tired, sick, or upset because I apparently don't look it.

I think it's just another aspect of people "judging on appearances".

Which is fine. We all do

Being good looking must be the best thing in the world lol

Meh. I think that they are more likely to give you a chance if you are good looking, but somethings it can put you at a disadvantage.
Like my sister is a model, literally. She is very pretty and good on the surface, and she really is sweet, most of the time. But she does miss some things and shows signs of having at least a bit of the social impairment that comes with aspergers. But people *expect* her to be perfect, so when she does screw up, they are less forgiving, I feel like.

I think there's a lot of truth to that. Its made even worse when you 'sound smart' to others because you have an extensive vocabulary and detailed knowledge of certain subjects. It contributes to the impression that there couldn't possible be anything wrong with you, much less that you have an actual handicapping disability. So people tend to come down on you really hard when you tell them you can't do something, and assume that you're just not willing to try.

I grew up convinced that I was extremely average-looking, perhaps not even that. Looking at old photos now, I realize I was way wrong - I was very good looking - no fashion sense at all, but cute. I don't know if it made me any more accepted or not. I never felt so much that my peer group was actively rejecting me, as they were just ignoring me. They knew my name, but since I didn't inject myself into their social interactions, they left me standing in the corner and went on about their business. Not disliked, just invisible.

Its still that way, even on FaceBook. They 'friend' me because we went to school together, but no one ever addresses me after that. They chat and blather and never even acknowledge my existence. If I make a joking remark to one of their posts, as often as not, they delete it, as though I'd said something obscene. I can only attribute that to the fact that A) They aren't smart enough to understand my humor and B) Since they don't get it, they're worried that it might reflect negatively on them to their real friends. Ah, the life of the outcast. It never changes and it doesn't matter what you look like. Its all about playing the game. If you don't play well, you sit on the bench and get out of everyone's way.

Last edited by Avengilante on 14 Jul 2011, 8:09 pm, edited 1 time in total.

This, very much so.

When I was younger, I thought it was everyone else that had the problem. I didn't understand why I was ignored most of the time or excluded. Later on, I realized that the only "common factor" in all of the troubles was me and my poor social skills.

I would have been far less popular in school if I wasn't good looking. It's not that I'm super attractive, but I am good looking enough that people are more willing to tolerate me. Now, this all depends on the way I'm acting. Guys have always been easier to get along with, and looks don't matter with guys. They would only matter if they were to recruit me to play wingman, and that's not my thing. But because I'm decent looking, as long as I'm relatively calm, I get noticed more. The older you get, the less looks matter as compared to school, job prospects, etc.

I'm relatively good looking, but the easily observable aspects of my aspieness are clearly obvious. I'm sometimes invited to groups, but I usually decline the offer because I'm really not interested.

Yeah, that's the other side of it. I get invited to stuff sometimes, but I almost always decline because I'm not interested.

When I was younger, I used to feel bad about always refusing, or I used to think something was wrong with me, but over time I've just realized that I like to be alone more than I like to be around other people.

Do some of them become photographic models?

I'm an extremely average looking. So average that lots of people suspect that I am NT and don't believe that I have AS. So, I'd say more AS signs are more noticeable because I look very NT.

during a 10 +/- year period, i was probably an attractive person....there were times while out training that girls/women would follow me home. honest. freaked me out to tell the truth. did not know how to take advantage of these situations.

then i died. broken and burned. scared little children.

what i learned was being 'good' looking is a tremendous advantage. after being hurt REALLY bad, twice, i was astounded how humans reacted to me. just amazing.

if you're attractive, well, you probably do not know how fortunate you are. you cannot begin to imagine how terribly bad unattractive people are treated.

My mom is a pretty autistic... she has been repeatedly victimized by sociopathic men who knew she was an easy target.

I'm average looking and fat, so I've escaped being targeted for the most part.

Isn't 'good looking' subjective? If not, then what criteria are being used in this thread to judge?

Pretty people get away with murder. It's not just an Aspie thing. I saw a hidden camera show once where two actors worked as clerks in a Starbucks, one of them very handsome, the other only average looking. The handsome guy intentionally did a poor job, taking a long time to get coffee and spilling drinks. The women he served still treated him like he was Prince Perfect. The average looking guy did a much better job, and the customers acted as if they didn't even notice him. Was this show surprising to me in the least? No.