Does anyone here not drink alcohol?

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I met a girl from my class at the shops the other day and we said a quick hello to each other. She said I should call her some time during the summer holidays so we can go out for a drink somewhere. I suppose she wants to bring one or two of her friends as well.

The thing is I really want to go out with her (I don't have a crush on her, I just want to stay in touch with her) but I don't drink alcohol and don't plan to ever do so.

So my question is, what is the best thing I can do...? Isn't that gonna be strange when I'm the only one who isn't drinking alcohol?

Is it a medical reason you have for not drinking or is it a moral/religious issue?

I didn't drink alcohol either up until I was 28. For me it was because my father was non-drinker so he brainwashed me into thinking that drinking is "bad". But at 28 I realized that there are no long term consequences of drinking anyway, so why not drink if that is what is socially expected? Due to Asperger there are some social expectations that I "can not" fulfill no matter how hard I try. So why make things "worse" by refusing to do things I CAN do, such as drinking?

Well, I have two aunties who are alcoholics and an uncle who has liver cancer... I have always seen alcohol as something that only causes trouble.

The way I know myself, once I've drunk once, I'm gonna start drinking more regularly. I tend to get "stuck" on things very easily. Maybe I'm just not mature enough for it yet.

I don't drink alcohol.

I never really understood why people did. Especially with the after effects.

I tried when I was in my first year at Uni, in order to "fit in". I still couldn't understand it so after a couple of tries, I didn't bother any more.

I still don't get it - and my poor husband has to put up with me giving him a lecture every time he goes out with his mates - don't drink to much? why do you want to poison yourself anyway? don't expect any sympathy when you have a hangover! your friends drink too much ... why do they do that? Why did you start drinking?. He loves me though, so he puts up with it, and he isn't a huge drinker. I just don't get it and want to understand.

I don't go to pubs/clubs very often (maybe occasionally with my husband) because I don't like the environment. But when I go, I just drink ginger beer or coke. No one has a problem with that. If people don't know me they might think it a little odd, but the bonus is they usually absorb the cost of the drink because "it's just a soft drink" so I get away without paying anything. If people do know me, they just accept I don't drink and don't pry into the reasons why (because they know I don't talk much anyway).

As for your situation in going for a drink with your friend - you could perhaps suggest a good coffee shop where they serve nice food and just have whatever you want to drink with your food. "Going for a drink" in my book, is just social code for "meeting up and getting to know each other better". It doesn't matter where it takes place or even if alcohol is involved. Perhaps this is a misinterpretation on my part, however. If you want to give her the option of alcohol, a quiet pub known for it's food might work the same.

Actually there is a study that shows that "alcohol making people happy" is just a placebo. What they did was this: they split people into two groups, and each group got alcohol enjected by a needle. Now, one group was told that it was alcohol while the other was told it was "a new medication they are testing out". The group that was told it was alcohol was really happy while drunk, claiming how it is "even better than getting it by mouth", and so forth. On the other hand, the group that was told it was a "new medication" did not report any "happy" feelings; instead, they were complaining how their muscles feel week, how they are disoriented, and so forth.



If it is simply your "being confused" then how come you DO have a clear opinion in your comments such as "you drink too much", "don't expect any sympathy during hangover" and so forth? By the way I happened to agree with these "opnions" that you were expressing in these comments. But I guess I don't agree with your logic even though I agree with your conclusion. Your logic seems to be "I don't understand X therefore X is bad". Can you explain why you think that way? Would you apply this logic to other things you "dont understand", besides getting drunk?

I don't drink.

It's okay that you don't drink. Nothing wrong with that.

Just say "No thanks."

But don't be uptight or selfrighteous about it.

[double post]

Last edited by YellowBanana on 15 Jul 2011, 8:49 am, edited 1 time in total.

Interesting! Guess I didn't fall for that placebo affect....



I think there is confusion in my thought or the way I express it ... I'm not sure which it is ... probably a combination knowing me.

I do hold the opinion that drinking to excess is bad because it is harmful for your body - as evidenced so clearly by the hungover state; poisoning of the body and, possibly more importantly, destroying the brain as a result. This is the root of comments "You drink too much" and "Don't expect any sympathy" (in actual fact, he gets looked after by me very well when he has a hangover because I don't like him to suffer).

But I don't understand why people drink at all. It seems like the prime purpose is to get drunk (i.e. poison their bodies, destroy their brain). And I don't understand why someone would want to do that. Yet, there seems no point in drinking if they don't get drunk ... because it does nothing ... so why bother? So these are the things I don't understand.

(Edit to add: for what it's worth and if it's relevant - I also don't understand why people smoke or take recreational drugs, for the same reasons, and have never done that either).

I am probably still not expressing myself clearly but you are right to separate the two issues.

(Another edit to add: I also, however, acknowledge that the choice to do these things is an individual choice and I don't necessarily think badly of people who do drink, smoke and/or take recreational drugs, nor do I push my opinions on others (except, perhaps, my husband!))

I do not drink either-it upsets my stomach severely and I just cant stand the taste either-I see how people act when they overdo it and hey fine if thats how people remember you in that state-I am not going to stop anyone from have a good time the way they want to have a good time-but some of these people are the same ones that have a problem with me having a good time(which is very rarely as it is) in my aspie way.I apologize if thats hard to understand.

How can you suggest to someone wise enough to be cautious about poisonous drugs to drink alcohol?!?!?!?! ! And how can you seriously say that there are no long term consequences??? please get some medical knowledge!! !! !! ! This is very embarrassing!

I used to drink a lot and it was very hard to stop after I realized that I was on a downwards spiral. After a year of total abstinence, in which I had to say "I SAID NO THANKS!! !" quite often, I have it "under control" now, I drink about once every two weeks, usually one beer or one glass of wine. It doesn't take much more to get addicted again. But you usually only realize it when it is too late.

Please don't drink for anyone. If someone cannot accept your not drinking, he or she is not your friend.

I don't. I have felt really stupid after drinking before.

and



We are talking about two different things. What I was saying is that if some very special occasion arises, don't ruin it by not drinking. Such occasions come once in few months, which is precisely why they shouldn't be ruined. In other words, i recommend drinking once in few MONTHS.

Now, you admitted yourself that YOU drink once in two WEEKS, which is far more often then what I recommended. So it should be me telling you to drink less, not the other way around

I don't drink in social situations. I don't like the effects of alcohol on my body, I generally felt like someone had concentrated all my bad experiences when I did drink to the level of being drunk.

Personally, I don't think that advising someone to drink to 'fit in' is the best of ideas. While matching group behavior does help with maintaining friendships, it is wise to exercise individual judgment regarding what you put in your body (be it alcohol, drugs or food). I've found concealing the not drinking helps for a small amount of time when you want to socialize with people who find alcohol important but it doesn't work with people you actually want to be real friends with. True friends try to accept you as you are.

Exactly! And just because a little alcohol doesn't do me any harm it doesn't mean that it won't do any harm to someone else. Especially if this someone else is a teenager. He should be so grateful that he never touched the stuff and should keep it that way if possible. You miss nothing except for a light poisoning.

If he is a teenager then alcohol is illegal for him. Since he brought up the topic, I was assuming he is 21 or over. The assumption of him being over 21 was the basis on which I gave my advice.