Do you tell your friends that you're Autistic/Aspie?

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I'm scared to tell people because of their negative reactions to it. The only people who are ''allowed'' to know by me is my doctor and my employment advisors. I don't like to tell all of my friends, even though it will make life easier for me, in the long run. But there's just something about it that I feel afraid of, and I can't quite put my finger on why I feel so afraid. I mean, surely they like me for who I am. Why would their thoughts change about me after so long, just because I've told them that I have a disability? Having a disability may seem shameful to me, but to them it might just be the same as somebody telling them that they have asthma or diabetis. They wouldn't think any less of them then, so why would they feel any less of me just because I have a disability? But I just still feel embarrassed and shy to tell them. I mean, if I'm good at hiding it, I think is it that worth telling them about it? Or shall I tell them that I just have some learning difficulties, and any social misconduct I do might just make them think that it's associated with my learning difficulties, since I'm generally so good at hiding my AS that I don't show enough AS to make people think of AS, if that makes sense. I know they don't. It's just that if I did start telling everybody that I have AS, and they ask what it is and I have to explain, they might take it a bit seriously and assume that I get too overly sensitive and anxious quick, and they might start speaking to me like I'm a baby, or they might think, ''oh, glad I ain't got that!'' and so on. Just little thoughts start swirling round in my head, making me keep quiet about my AS.

Does anyone else feel like this?

I have told a few people and they are quite understanding-there are a few I will not tell because they just cant keep their mouth shut.

My family know as I'm still a teenager and I'm pretty sure that my parents have told my grandparents even though I never wanted them to. My close friends know, but only because I ended up telling them after a teacher started telling other students in the class (which I was so, so angry about but didn't dare speak to her about it).

None of them reacted so badly in front of me. After all, to be honest, it doesn't really change anything.

I don't tend to tell people unless I either feel very comfortable with them and tell them most things, or there's a really good reason to tell them. I think that if you feel uncomfortable telling people there's no problem in keeping it to yourself, but likewise there's no problem in telling people you know as long as they already know you; otherwise some people might make judgements. They shouldn't but they do.

I refrain from telling some people because I do not want them to think I am ret*d or to treat me differently. There are some family members who, some professors and other people at my school who know, and one friend who knows (some acquaintances MIGHT know if they pay attention to some posts I make in the facebook groups, but I really doubt people pay much attention to me). Some people who know treat me just the same as they always have, but others think of me differently, and I don't want that. The label doesn't change who I have always been. I was autistic even when I didn't know I was. If you could treat me like a normal person then, then you should be able too now. Unfortunately, it doesn't always work that way though.

Oh, obviously my parents know, and I think the rest of my family knows, although some who I don't see often have probably forgotten as I gotten older (I hope so).

I used to, but now I don't unless someone asks me directly. People make assumptions about you, and I've also been accused of making excuses for my behavior. When I was in hospital and all the doctors knew about it- well, I've had a few good rants here about how annoying that was, but basically everything negative I said was met with a distainful "well, I suppose people like you always think like that." This is attitude I could do without!

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http://defeatingthedoginthedaytime.blogspot.com/

the trials and tribulations of a girl pretending to be normal

The only people that know (that Ive told anyway) are my family, my doctor, my ex gf and a girl I used to go to school with that I talk to on facebook, all people I trust. Im pretty sure my ex gf started telling all her friends though after we split up. I never told any of my old friends, I wish I had as my strange behavior ended up turning them all away in the end.

In the beginning, I didn't want to tell anyone. Even my family didn't know. People wouldn't have understood, because they didn't want to understand and because I didn't feel comfortable with my difference. For as long as I wasn't comfortable with autism and ADHD, I realised others wouldn't be either. How could they? They know less about it than me and if they pick up on that I think it's weird, then they'd adopt my opinion and think I'm weird too.

By now I realised that friends and even some acquaintances need to know about my ADHD and/or autism. And family too. It's a part of my life, so they got to know about it if they are also part of my life.

Besides, I am a perfectly normal autistic person with ADHD. I have to deal with people's “normality” every day too, so why should they not deal with mine? I'd rather people use their heads to think about how we can live together in somewhat akin harmony. Not wonder about why I'm supposedly not normal, because that doesn't get anyone anywhere.

My autism and ADHD are too noticeable to hide. It makes those who associate with me a lot wonder what's “wrong” with me. And since usually, people's musing turn out to be bad and stupid, those who'd start to wonder know what they need to know. Some only know of ADHD, others of the autism too. To each what they got to know, depending on how much they know about the rest of me.

Levels of understanding and interest vary greatly, but everyone important is like “well you're mad as a hatter anyway, we know and it doesn't matter, because that's how you are”.

You know what I do? If they don't know what it is, I get them to read a book called The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time by Mark Haddon. It's a fantastic book and it drew my attention to Asperger's, which led to my diagnosis. It really helps NTs understand us as well.

The first person I told asked if it was a disease that could be spread. I told her it was not a disease, just a neurological difference.

My Xbox Live account also referrs to my Aspergers, and someone I was playing Call of Duty with asked what it was. Before I could explain though, the person asked his dad (who said it was a disease that made kids stupid). He got a mouthful from me.


It just depends on how they're going to react to hearing about Aspergers/Autism. Right now, it's just a little bit misunderstood.


Other than those two exceptions (and my father who denys everything about autism), everyone I've told (which is a group of about 15 people) has been understanding.

When I was a child, one friend at school knew I had AS, and understood me. But this was only because she had a younger sister who was severely Autistic, and so looked upon me as ''a mild version of my sister'' (which was what she called me). Obviously her sister was at a special school because she was too severe to be in mainstream, whereas I was ''normal'' enough to cope well in mainstream school. But anyway, when I was 10 years old, I had a big argument with my friend, and I suddenly saw that she had gathered up all the girls in the class and was in a corner of the playground telling them that I had AS and was explaining it to them, since she knew all about this disorder because of her sister. And from then on, all the girls in the class spoke to me like I was a baby, and I could tell they had become a little afraid of me, even though most of me and my behaviour wasn't much different to any other child, really. I joined in pretend play with other children, and I did it OK. But they still seemed very sort of afraid, and when they got to teenagers they always felt embarrassed to hang around with me, because I suppose they didn't want to be seen with ''the class freak''.

So this is why I'm put off telling people, even though all this happened when we were only silly kids. But most people stay very judgemental and afraid of strange people throughout their whole lives, especially women do (they usually stop all this bitchy stupidness when they reach retirement age, which is why I get on so well with elderly people).

I just say that my brain is weird and leave it at that. It gets the point across without having people think that I have a disease.

As far as I am aware, all of my friends know.

I've never, ever considered AS to be a disease.

Yes, I tell my friends. It usually comes up eventually. They know I'm odd already. But usually the people I spend time with are odd themselves and don't mind.

I tell proper friends.