NT Yank-ees

Post Reply New Topic

I admit to being deliberately provocative with NTs just to yank their chain back.

This is something along the lines of the character played by Robert Downie Jr in "Back to School." He says, "you know what you never see? Hecklers at a school diving competition." he pulls out a small mirror, shines sunlight off it into the eyes of the visiting team's star, who promptly loses all composure and blows the dive routine.

In high school I posted a picture in my wall locker door of David Berkowitz, the so-called Son of Sam serial killer in NYC circa 1976-77. I placed an enigmatic quote underneath it from Thomas Mann's "Death in Venice," pretending to say something profound about the killer, such as he was misunderstood. People passed by and cursed me. They punched the picture, spit at it. I found their reactions quite amusing.

I had a rock and roll mag featuring various bands. One had Lynyrd Skynyrd standing in a field with mock flames behind them under a title that read, "a blood bath every night." I posted it to my wall locker right after their chartered plane crashed and burned. People came by and said, "Man, what a tribute! Cool!" It was irony and snark, guys, not tribute. But the NT's were clueless.

Other times, I just elicit remarks that draw blank stares. Seeing a dance floor empty, I noted I had not see such an attrition rate since...Vietnam. Huh?

So, what are your NT Yank-ee stories? How have you turned the tables on clueless yet superior-minded NTs who deserve a comeuppance that takes them down a notch or three?

There was this person that I viewed as having a superiority complex, To get back at them I called a cab company around midnight and told them to come this address. I then said (sorta sheepishly) that I might have had one too many and I would be lying down on a swing on the porch so just have the driver pull in the driveway and toot their horn and I would come right out. The driver did as instructed but after awhile he got annoyed and started laying on the horn. Lights started going on all over the house and the people in the house came outside to see why this person was in their driveway in the middle of the night, blowing his horn. This is my example of Aspy justice.

P.S. My friend and I were watching from the woods beside this guys house and got a good laugh.

It may shock some Aspies to read this, but NTs sometimes called me "sick" or "sick puppy." In time, relished the idea of showing them what real "sick" could be. I had this idea. In 1976-77, the Son of Sam serial killer would stalk lovers' lanes, approach their vehicle, fire from his .44 gun (hence the moniker he also held, "the .44 Caliber Killer") into the victims and then disappear. My idea was "sick" but not really anything more than a prank. Getting to lovers' lane was not something I could really aspire to, at least, not in the car with a date. Those who did would mock me back in school after the weekend as someone who couldn't get there. So I thought, "I know. I'll get one of those "cap" guns, the kind that make noise but are essentially harmless. I'll go to lovers' lane, approach a vehicle, fire six "caps" into it, and then flee."

Momentarily, there would be panic and hysteria in the vehicle. 'I'm hit! No, I'm not. Are you ok? He missed us! Thank God! That was a close one. Hey, where are the bullet holes? Did someone really fire into the car? etc..." In any event, their night of passion would quickly be ruined and they'd drive home or to some well-lit dinner to regain their wits. At the time, people were really worried about this serial killer, kind of the way they were later when the DC sniper terroried the national capitol region in the 2000s.

As it turns out, this was too cruel a hoax even for me. Plus, I had to figure, what if someone in the car was armed as well and fired back...with real bullets? So, I let it go the way of a good fantasy best left unfulfilled.
Restraint in an Aspie? Who would have guessed?