How do you avoid being sexually attractive?

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mechanicalgirl39
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29 Jul 2011, 5:24 pm

Let's just say I'm sick of random idiots being drawn to me because I have breasts and I'm average looking as opposed to revolting. I don't feel like typing out details...

So, what are some ways to deflect attraction?

I'd cut off my hair, but I like it too much. Not willing to go that far.

Maybe I should curse more? :D :D

Shoot my mouth off about my physical strength? I'm fairly sure that your average guy, at least, doesn't want a girl who can deadlift more than he can.

Tell dead baby jokes? Generally act as morbid as possible(Okay, so I'm already a fairly morbid person, but I could make a special effort)? :D :D

Semi-humor aside, does anyone know of some ways I could alter my behaviour to send non-sexual signals??


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Tequila
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29 Jul 2011, 5:52 pm

You can't, ultimately.

Can you just ignore them? Or are they too persistent for that?



Moog
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29 Jul 2011, 5:58 pm

Honestly, I think some of those anti manoeuvres might actually attract certain males.

I would stuff a big sausage shaped object in the front of your trousers. It will have to be quite obvious. And it won't work with a skirt.


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Tequila
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29 Jul 2011, 6:01 pm

Moog wrote:
Honestly, I think some of those anti manoeuvres might actually attract certain males.


Especially the physical strength one. Some aggressive men love a challenge, which is exactly what you don't want to provoke in them.



Lucywlf
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29 Jul 2011, 6:39 pm

Have twin boys, gain a lot of weight, be run ragged and over forty.

Works for me.

I had exactly this problem when I was younger.



OneStepBeyond
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29 Jul 2011, 6:48 pm

it comes so naturally to me
work on your awkwardness, making people feel as uncomfortable as possible in your presence. utilise poor body language, eye contact and conversational skills. you will be so unsexed you wont know what hit you

wear a wedding ring?



Tequila
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29 Jul 2011, 6:51 pm

Lucywlf wrote:
Have twin boys, gain a lot of weight, be run ragged and over forty.


What about those men, like myself, that are attracted to older, chubby women? Or even grannies?

SEE!! !!1111 THERE IS NO ESCAPE!!!11111



pokerface
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29 Jul 2011, 7:04 pm

Lucywlf wrote:
Have twin boys, gain a lot of weight, be run ragged and over forty.

Works for me.

I had exactly this problem when I was younger.


Over forty?!?! :(



CockneyRebel
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29 Jul 2011, 8:04 pm

I feel very lucky to have an adrogenious face. You can pout and frown more. Stick out your bottom lip. Wear your hair under a baseball cap.


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theWanderer
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29 Jul 2011, 8:09 pm

mechanicalgirl39 wrote:
Maybe I should curse more? :D :D


Not a woman, but I happened to notice this in the recent posts and thought perhaps you could use a guy's perspective. Women have to guess based on what seems to work for them. Guys talk to each other. Sometimes, some of us wish that weren't so :wink: but we do.

Cursing will make a lot of guys think you're "easy". That's a common assumption among guys. "She's got a mouth like a sewer; man, she's gotta be a slut!" I'm not arguing that is always or even often the case, but what you're interested in is what the guys will think.

Claiming to be exceptionally strong will backfire, too. Yes, you'll scare some guys away, but others will see that as a challenge. The ones who will are the guys you least want to be noticed by... especially if you aren't strong enough to beat them. Even if you are, sooner or later, word will spread, and a couple of strong guys who see you as a threat will decide to "take care of you". I am not defending this, not saying it ought to be. Guys like that are human waste, and I'm not so sure about the "human" part. But since I'm not able to rid the world of all the jerks, that is what is likely to happen.

In any case, if the problem is, literally, breasts, there is nothing you can do. Guys who chase after girls for that particular reason seem to worry about literally nothing else. Guys who are drawn to women with nice legs, guys who like women with nice hair, or women who fill out the seat of their jeans nicely, just about any other fixation I can think of, there is an element of overall appearance. But guys with that one obsession often seem to care about nothing else at all.

I've been startled to see certain guys drooling over women who were shockingly ugly - in every single case because they "filled out a sweater well", to use an old fashioned term. They were rather more blunt about it, but I assume you aren't interested in that discussion. :wink: (In one case, a guy made a very appreciative comment about a woman who would have made Kathy Bates, made up as the madwoman in that Stephen King movie, look like the most desirable supermodel ever. Literally. But all he cared about was how she filled out her blouse. *shudder* No, that's not my hangup, if you couldn't guess.)

I don't mean to imply that appearance is everything, but if guys try to pick you up, that is based on appearance. And if they're attracted to some features, you can do something about it. Most guys who aren't outright perverts, even if I don't share their tastes, I can understand them. Consistently, it is the guys who point out and talk about that one feature who surprise me, and who stare at women I wouldn't glance at twice even if I'd just spent the past ten years in prison and they'd just bought their outfit at Victoria's Secret...


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Ilka
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29 Jul 2011, 9:22 pm

I do not think you can avoid being sexually attractive.
To the average guy saying stupid things on the street, just ignore him.
To the males you meet at school, work, etc., and fall in love with you for your looks just let them know you are not interested. A simple: "I like you ONLY as a friend" or "I am sorry but I do not like you THAT way" should be enough. Just try not to be too rude, because some men can become obsessed and being rude can be dangerous.



mechanicalgirl39
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30 Jul 2011, 7:27 am

CockneyRebel wrote:
I feel very lucky to have an adrogenious face. You can pout and frown more. Stick out your bottom lip. Wear your hair under a baseball cap.


I have that, too. But it only really works if I'm also wearing loose clothes, and it's summer here..


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mechanicalgirl39
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30 Jul 2011, 7:31 am

Thanks everyone. Wanderer in particular for taking all that time to share his perspective.

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I don't mean to imply that appearance is everything, but if guys try to pick you up, that is based on appearance. And if they're attracted to some features, you can do something about it. Most guys who aren't outright perverts, even if I don't share their tastes, I can understand them. Consistently, it is the guys who point out and talk about that one feature who surprise me, and who stare at women I wouldn't glance at twice even if I'd just spent the past ten years in prison and they'd just bought their outfit at Victoria's Secret...


With you - loose clothes do make a difference. Usually if I'm wearing combat pants, a loose shirt and my leather jacket, no one bothers with me. But the heat is vicious right now.


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hartzofspace
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30 Jul 2011, 1:19 pm

Sorry to say this, but there is NOT a way to make yourself unattractive to men. Believe me, I had and am still having this problem. The best thing is to build strong and healthy boundaries. Wearing a wedding ring might help, but I wouldn't count on it. I hated entering puberty because from the time I was twelve, grown men would hit on me, proposition me, and try to touch me. I have been told that I am fairly attractive, but still nobody wants to be sexually harassed all the time for something that they cannot help. Nobody gets to choose attractiveness any more than they can choose being considered unattractive. I don't get as annoyed with being stared at or hit on since I got engaged. I have seen men check me out, notice the engagement ring, and then leave me alone. Of course the handyman where I live still made a flirtatious remark even though he sees my fiance coming and going from my house! :x It just goes to show that you cannot control how men will behave. I did find that never smiling, giving short answers and looking at my watch while some unwanted guy is talking to you helps. Once I was sitting at a bus stop and this elderly man came over and started making small talk. I was polite, but not very friendly. Then he said that he was looking for a wife. WTF! I responded that I was not looking for a husband. He got upset and walked away in a huff. That was very funny. :twisted:


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Tequila
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30 Jul 2011, 1:28 pm

hartzofspace wrote:
Sorry to say this, but there is NOT a way to make yourself unattractive to men. Believe me, I had and am still having this problem. The best thing is to build strong and healthy boundaries.


This. That's the best thing you can do.

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Wearing a wedding ring might help, but I wouldn't count on it.


Lots of guys will still hassle you, especially if they know your husband and suspect he's ineffectual. Sleeping with married women not in open relationships - or 'conquering' them - is a point of pride for some men, possibly even to the stage of impregnating them and having the husband look after the baby!

Quote:
I don't get as annoyed with being stared at or hit on since I got engaged. I have seen men check me out, notice the engagement ring, and then leave me alone.


Men are a mixture of things, is the easiest answer to this. Some men will never flirt with any woman under any circumstances (and in fact are asexual), some would but are too scared to, others are openly flirtatious even in front of husbands but unless they are very strong personalities (or are criminals) they won't last long.

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It just goes to show that you cannot control how men will behave.


Yes. Nor women either.



Ilka
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30 Jul 2011, 2:37 pm

hartzofspace wrote:
Wearing a wedding ring might help, but I wouldn't count on it.:


My husband and I stopped using our wedding rings because that made us more attractive to the opposite sex. Apparently some people think married men and women are more open to one night stands (no strings attached).