The Aspie, Guilt and Security Guards ?

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It is this question that actually brought me to this website, as I just need to know what is it with security guards, is it me as an Aspie, or is it something I am displaying that makes me an automatic target for security guard oppression. In oppression I am meaning it seems it is only me that is followed around by security staff in shops, to the point now where I feel particularly oppressed, I no longer go in those shops, no matter if that is the only shop that sells what I want, I will go without to avoid confrontation, as that is what it has come to in certain shops.

To add, I am always polite and that because despite being intelligent according to my IQ, I have below average thinking speed, but when I do answer, the answer is precise, which could mean I digest the information before answering, but anyhow, I am a slow thinker, so with politeness is the way I reply to anyone who questions me, I lack the wit to be anything other.

Further to that I am also it seems the natural target for police to hassle and other security staff not involved with shops, and I had a rather nasty incident with one in a university where I was attending an evening class, a belly dance class as a male dancer, the security guard said he did not want any of my kind in the college, to which I politely enquired what my kind was, something he would not answer, and still to this day I wonder what my kind is, as it has worried me, sort of as a culmination of security guard abuse, what is it that they are seeing in me ?

Now a friend I enquired of who works in store security said because he knows me I am not a threat, but to others I tend to fit a stereotype, a stereotype that is associated with store criminality despite the fact I never engage in criminality. So I asked, what is it my dress, as I do dress kind of eccentrically, the answer was no, as criminals do not like to advertise their prescence, yet I do draw attention and that because of my eye action and the fact I move around with hands in pockets which comes across as shifty to security guards.

Now I cannot help my actions, but harmless though they may be, I am forever the interest of security people and I am getting rather annoyed with it, to the point I am investigating secret sound and vision recording devices so I may feel comfort out in society, the idea of which if I feel I am being abused by security staff, their boss will get a thorough report and if it means their jobs, then so be it. Hardly nice, but I do not feel comfortable in places where the majority go because I am expectant of security guard abuse. I am also kind of feeling my proposed recording actions are also a kind of protest to make people aware that not all who are different are criminals.

But, I ask of others here, do they also experience undue attention from security personnel because of their 'disorder', or is it just something I alone experience ?

Yeah I have the same problem too. Once I was in the airport and they decided I was drunk because of the way I move. Also I was kicked out of computer place because my choes were off. I was kicked out of one restaurant because I forget to take a shower and smell.

Sometimes I'm mistaken for being drunk >.>
Though telling people I have Supercharger's syndrome seems to get me out of trouble regardless of whether or not I'm drunk

Something on my computer doesn't think Asperger's is a word. Other options were Jasper's and Spengler's.

I don't have the security guard problem as I never spend more than about 2 minutes in a shop unless I'm with friends

I have not had problems to the same extent you have, but some incidents. Traveling from overnight in Maryland through Pennsylvania, I stopped and had a really late breakfast, the waitress treated me shabbily for no apparent reason. That kind of threw my off my game. Stopping at a convenience store, it was like two or three customers were hostile to me, I could feel their hostility. I'm wondering what the hell is going on, is it something about people in Pennsylvania? ?

Because I had the previous bad experience, I second-guessed myself. That's not good.

Now, it was a truck stop area, it was not advertised as a truck stop. I was wearing khaki slacks with tennis shoes, that's a little off.

I was playing. I was unwinding. I was like a tourist in a museum. I had a goofy smile. That's getting more like it. So, I was perceived as being on drugs or something.

I have a more nasal voice than average, so I'm sometimes perceived as gay. Sometimes I'm perceived as a flamer even though my voice is miles from a stereotypical gay voice. Just shows how limited people's repertoire and mental set is. I think we should be accepting of human differences. Of course gay people should have the same rights as everyone else. And we shouldn't make 'normal' so small a box.

Another incident, I was in my early twenties attending an urban university. I'm moving from one area of the gym to another. A guy at a table says, may I see an ID please. They've never asked for ID before. I'm moving from one area to another, I'm obviously already in the gym. Plus, when I lift weights, I kind of let myself get in a mindset where I let myself daydream and mull over ideas. The guy said, "I've already asked once politely." He was angry, he was aggressive. He was overworked with his job. And because I was slow in responding, he escalates it in a scary way.

I wish I would have then had the skill saying in a matter-of-fact voice, "Okay." Almost regardless of what the person says. A good bet, it gives me pause and processing time. It gives the person a pause.

Yes, I fished out my ID, but I kind of felt it was a hell of a closer thing than it needed to be.

One idea, maybe for a store you like to attend regularly, if you could go with an advocate, politely ask to speak to the manager, and leave the manager with a letter than Asperger's / Autism Spectrum is a normal human variation, and although the person might at times seem slightly 'off,' the person is still a valued customer. The advocate makes a huge difference. It would take Oskar Schindler-level skills to pull off by yourself and even then would be a far lower probability thing.

I love it!!

You could experiment with keeping your head up and your hands visible...

Yeah, been there done that, but the reason my hands are in my pockets is because they have a mind of their own and I look madder than ever, in fact i get even more attention from the wrong people for my wayward hands.

I've also been thrown out stores because someone thought I was drunk. And when I was younger I also seemed to draw undue attention from mall cops and security guards.

I walk with cane now, which seems to give me 'permission' to walk/move/look "funny." Haven't had anyone assuming I'm drunk or a thief, etc. since.

It's amazing how presumptuous people are. They're so sure that they know what's going on, even though they have insufficient evidence from which to draw a conclusion from.

yeah I always get followed by the security I always get selected for pat-downs at airports. one time on Heathrow I got x-rayed because they thought I was a drug mule

I dunno, I just look guilty. I think myself lucky to be alive in times like these because in any other century I'd just get lynched for something I didn't do ;(

not sure if ASDs have anything to do with this though - I'm not an aspie, just severely ADD and an introvert/plain weird. might be something we have in common though. maybe the heightened alertness?

As a 'bridge person,' so to speak, I bet you do have a lot to offer. Some give and take, and yes, we can all learn a lot.

As far as heightened alertness, yes, sometimes I think I have bird like alertness. And I guess that looks weird or unusual. That actually helps me at the poker table, as well as my trait of watching people like a movie and not really being aware that I'm doing it. (still broke even, the inevitable upswings and downswings even when you're playing well. Please be careful.)

yes. probably because i have nervous eyes. i hate shops

This happens to me all the time. I am always the one who gets followed by store security, and even now when I'm old it still happens - I think I just look shifty or something? ... but I'm not I am completely honest and can't even hurt bugs. It might have something to do with the fact I can't stand pompous authority figures. But I have gone out of my way to dress cleanly, to mind my own business, to not look around much - and it still happens. Now I accept it and avoid shopping altogether. I send my daughter to buy stuff I need at big stores like Malwart once in a while.

There is the option, go to the manager with an advocate and ask the manager to write a letter stating that you are a valued customer.

Then if a security guard is following you, pull out a copy of the letter and show it to him or her. This is an Alice's Restaurant type of activism, that is, the unexpected tactic. I'd say, it would work two-thirds of the time, and not work one third of the time. And sometimes the security guard might even make an extra effort to be courteous on future visits.

I did get stopped by a confusing woman when I was in sixth grade boredly waiting for mom to finish shopping in a department store... I had no idea what she was talking about, it was so circuitous ('we have to be careful, you understand..') After she checked my bag (I had put away my glasses case into it, which must have made her think I was shoplifting) she apologized and left. Twice I was mistreated in a derogatory way by people at the emergency room of a hospital when I was there for some physical minor accident and they were questioning me. In one case, the woman kept asking, "You're sure you weren't doing drugs?" which if you know for a typical aspie and for me, is the most ridiculous thing... In the other case, my best friend accompanied me and told them, "She always talks like this!" Now I know to disclose AS if idiots start acting superior to me and don't believe what they see during triage or whatever...

OH yes, Many times i have been stopped by UK police and security guards.

I recently was diagnosed with aspies, and i bought this up with the psychologist, when he said 'it was possibly my eye contact as i look shifty'
Since i have only been stopped once (possibly due to my age >30). Prior to this i was stopped all the time, to the point where i could not take it no more and would avoid certain shops. But then i decided this was wrong and i started to enter again, and ignore the guard. If they would stop me on the way out i would polity tell them 'to not touch or talk to me, so arrest me or f**k off' and carry on walking on. I was hoping they would arrest and i would sue them for wrongful arrest. Never happened through!

Now i have understanding of why they pick on me, i plan to be more polite and say 'i have apsies so dont touch or talk to me, arrest me or move away'.

Whatever you do do not say this to the police, they will arrest you. In fact when it comes to the police i don't know what to say or do, i shake with anxiety whenever i see a police uniform. This is possibly due to the past experience with the police who to me are nasty horrible people and should not hold the title of 'peace' as they are far from it. Complaints don't work, telling them your aspie don't work, they are a law among themselves. I have always wanted to walk into there local pub and arrest them for swearing, get in there face and shout 'calm down' like shouting at someone is going to make them calm. Grrr such nasty people. Rant over.......

Please note: I live in the States.

I wonder if you kept a brief, one-page letter from your doctor folded in your wallet. And if stopped by a police officer you said, 'Officer, may I show you something?' And if they said yes, took out your wallet, took out this letter, unfolded it and handed it.

Not a hundred percent. But I kind of think it might be a better bet than merely a verbal statement. The only problem might be that a whole 8.5x11 folded letter might add too much thickness to your wallet (I like a reasonably thin wallet ). So maybe some kind of card signed by a doctor, or an attorney, or a local Asperger's / Autism Spectrum network group.

PS And I quite agree, yelling at someone to calm down is idiotic. A police officer who does this is being a bully and is merely demonstrating how much he or she hates their job.

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And you might want to check out this discussion thread where someone is talking about cards being given out (recently?) in the UK in order to present to emergency services.
http://www.wrongplanet.net/postp3913686.html#3913686