Question about LGBT, ASD and working

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I post a lot on the Working Forum and have a blog where I discuss ASD & Employment issues. I thought I would drop into this forum and ask what sort of challenges ASD/LGBT folk have with employment?

Well, here is my take.

I'm a transitioning transwoman/genderqueer lesbian (or at least, I'm attracted primarily to females and consider myself mostly female) who is a posterchild for AS. I'm nearly 30 and after spending my early to mid 20s unemployed or working short-term crappy jobs, I became a freelance web developer/server administrator over 2 years ago. I work from home, for myself, and would say that I'm quite successful at this point. I have a degree in mathematics and taught myself everything about web development on my own.

I love my work. I can like rurally and communicate 99% through email. It's rare that I have to talk on the phone and it's been a long, long time since I've ever had to meet a client in person.

Previous jobs sucked. Working for people, and especially with people, was HELL. Now, it's just me and computers in whatever environment I find comfortable. Nobody knows anything about me, really. I tell clients what I can do, and I do it, and they don't care if I'm a mouse on mars.

I'm disabled and cannot work.

Despite anti-discrimination laws, I still don't come out at work (as gay) unless/until I feel safe that I won't be discriminated against, and that I would be supported by management if someone did discriminate. Only 2 or 3 people knew at my last place, despite it being a large company with with equality policies to cover most things.
More than that know at my current place, in part because I know the MD's brother (and my predecessor) is gay.
I'd guess that gay people who aren't overtly obvious can find and keep jobs pretty much without a problem, whereas for people with ASD diagnoses it gets harder for jobs with high amounts of team work, social activity etc. I'm at the mild end of that, so can cope with most situations, albeit stressfully, but it must be very difficult for others.

I would say the top challenge is that things that some consider normal like saying, "My wife called" during work would unfortunately be interpreted differently if that person was a woman and vice versa for males. People at many companies claim that LGBT folk "flaunt" their sexuality by simply mentioning something indirectly about their partner while many heterosexual people do a lot without discrimination. The laws do nothing to protect people in small, conservative communities where the judge knows everyone in the community.

I might get an internship with the NSA (National Security Agency), and I am not going to say anything about being a transman. Who knows whether my supervisor would be a conservative who would find one small thing and use that as grounds to expel me.

Personally, I have never experienced discrimination at my work. But I work in a liberal bubble that is my University, and I work with computers. People don't care if your an alien so long as you can get the computer work done successfully.

i think the hardest thing about being queer and being employed is the fact that you never know what your employers and work mates think at least not till after getting the job. you cant be open about your life and you have to watch who you tell and what you say just incase they gossip and news spreads and you have to deal with homophobic remarks aimed at you or at queers in general, behind and in front of your back. in that respect the same is true for being an autie. you get bitched about for your asd traits, you get discriminated against and stereotyped(if you disclose your status) when searching for work because, lets face it, no one wants a worker with no interpersonal skills no matter how little those actually matter for the actual job- its the interview that counts.

I've been working in retail for almost 2 years,
I used to wear a rainbow bracelet most of the time,
not because I was advertising or trying to throw it in people's faces,
but because I felt like I was living a lie if I let people believe what
they wanted about me.... and that always made it a lot more difficult for me to talk to people if I couldn't even casually mention something as central to my life as my boyfriend. I just thought if I had a rainbow on me somewhere, they'd know what it meant and either (a not have a problem, or (b not ask me about my personal life.

Its still difficult, I'm not wearing rainbows anymore, but I'm trying to just be honest and casual with people about it, and if they don't want to hear anymore about my life, I guess they won't ask about it a second time.

Retail makes me crazy.... I hate it passionately, but oddly enough I do have some really good days every now and then.

Some customers realize they can manipulate me, and they talk me into doing things that go outside my realm of responsibility as an employee. Its was kind of rough realizing how naive I am, bending over backwards for people and letting them have their laugh at my expense.

Some of my coworkers like the word Fa****
there is one who has said it around me just because he realized
I don't like it, when I pretended not to hear him the first time he said it.

There is another coworker who called me Fa****,
directly, but he's almost too stupid for me to be offended.

the human resources people are really nice there,
and I know I could probably talk to them, and get these people fired,
the company policies would deem that as I would
'completely unacceptable'
I've just been too scared to talk to the human resources people,
or anyone else, I hate asking for help.

But I will.... I just procrastinate when it comes to serious conversations like that. y'know?

the situation makes me think 'he said, she said'
maybe its just a word.
I'm always thinking other people have much thicker skin than I do,
that they aren't offended by any word whatsoever.

but I'm trying to figure it out, I had no social skills to speak of before I worked in retail. Now I know how to smalltalk with my coworkers (I hate smalltalk though, I'd rather jump right into facts and trivia lol) but I do have someone who quizzes me every time she sees me, I enjoy talking to her.

and I do have some coworkers that are also gay, at least three of them. two girls, and one guy, and I've had a bit of support from them, its nice to know they are inclined to listen when I manage to work up the courage to get things off my chest.

all in all, its been a great learning experience,
I've grown a lot socially, which is to say, I'm a bit less inept now than previously.

anyways, I need to find a different job. This is a good job, but between ignorant coworkers, a vicious general public, my obliviousness, and my insecurities about the way people perceive me........ I need to find something that suits me better.