Being called sweetie, sweetheart, baby, etc. by strangers

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wanderlust
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06 Aug 2011, 7:49 pm

Hi All,

I was just wondering if any of you notice being called affectionate terms like sweetie, sweetheart, babe, honey, etc., by complete strangers? For instance, cashiers in supermarkets, baristas, guy stocking the shelves in 7/11, bus drivers....

I get this all the time. I'm 39, and 4/5 times, the person appears to be younger than me and is female. I feel a bit squeamish when this happens, but also find it kind of comforting.

I first started to really notice in 2001, and I was curious why I felt funny about it... so I started watching to see if it happened to everyone around me, and it doesn't.

Last night, at 7/11, the male cashier kept calling me sweetie and told me to "be careful out there" when I left. The woman in front of me and the woman behind me got no such comment. (I lingered at the newspapers by the door so I could eavesdrop.)

I still feel like a vulnerable and somewhat damaged little girl inside, and it almost feels like they can "see" me.

Anyone else experience this feeling?



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06 Aug 2011, 8:22 pm

Yes, the people who call me hon, babe, sweetie etc. are usually women. I find it slightly irritating when a woman younger than me does it, but generally I don't worry about it. If it was in a professional setting by a superior I might feel differently but I don't think the cashier at the grocery store is trying to power trip me.


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BillyIdolFan217
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06 Aug 2011, 8:23 pm

First off let me say that 7/11 is one of my obsessions!! !! ! LOL!! !! I love that store!

Anyway a boy my age I met here on WrongPlanet that I started talking to on twitter and eventually gave him my cell phone number kept calling me those names and I didn't like it at all! I finally told him to please stop because it made me feel uncomfortable and feel like we were in a relationship and I don't want one ATM. He respected that and stopped. I do like him as a friend though. I am into older men (way older) and IDC if a middle aged or old man called me those names for some reason. I don't mind If a woman or somebody I knew for most of my life called me that though.


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06 Aug 2011, 11:03 pm

I got called baby and Mick at the factory that I was working at 15 years ago by the woman supervisors.


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kahlua
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07 Aug 2011, 6:44 am

love and darl are quite common. I must give off helpless vibes or something.



wanderlust
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07 Aug 2011, 1:18 pm

That's what I'm wondering... do I really seem that young or naive or something? I know it's not because I look that young....

It doesn't bother me anymore, but the fact that it seems to happen so often makes me think it is definitely something about me.

*shrug*



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07 Aug 2011, 1:45 pm

I hate it. I don't like how those terms are being used so commonly. It's like they don't mean really anything anymore. I will challenge someone who calls me "hon".. especially at the supermarket. Excuse me? Do I know you?


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07 Aug 2011, 4:44 pm

wanderlust wrote:
That's what I'm wondering... do I really seem that young or naive or something? I know it's not because I look that young....

I get called 'sweetie' or 'dear' sometimes and I'm a man. Probably that's just what that person calls people they don't know.


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YoshiPikachu
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07 Aug 2011, 5:32 pm

I have a friend that does that with out realizing it.


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07 Aug 2011, 6:58 pm

I dont really care for it, to me it seems very tacky



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07 Aug 2011, 9:20 pm

It doesn't really bother me, but then I'm from the deep South. People over there call you sweetie, etc. all the time. I've never been called babe or baby before by anyone else but a boyfriend--that's a bit weird.



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08 Aug 2011, 12:07 am

I get sweetie a lot, but in a weird way.

Sort of how you would talk to a child, like you are so proud at them for acting all grown up. Im 24, so this always seems odd.

I guess maybe its the whole wide eyes, vacant expression, innocent stare thing that makes me seem younger / mentally incompetent.

Hehe I have no idea. Maybe its normal and they do it to everyone... But god, have I wondered.


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TeaEarlGreyHot
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08 Aug 2011, 1:25 am

Strangers have stopped talking to me. However, when some still did I would get sweetheart and honey a lot. The only time any of these bothered me was when it was used condescendingly or if some creeper was trying to pick me up.

I wish I knew why strangers have stopped talking to me so I could be sure to keep doing it. :D


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12 Aug 2011, 7:36 am

My boss used to call me and the very young members of staff 'doll'. I was a married woman, in my 30s, for goodness sake. It just confirmed that she thought of me as a youngster and didn't take me seriously.

My husband's old boss (a bit of a creep, always having affairs) called me 'honey'. I was so taken aback and I said, 'What?', quite abruptly. He recoiled and spoke again, without using the term. I think he was really embarrassed.

One term of endearment, in this neck of the woods, which I find acceptable is 'hen'. Any woman or girl, as long as they are younger than the person speaking, might be called that. It's a compliment if you know you are actually older than them, but they've just assumed you were younger (maybe it wouldn't be to many on here, as it happens so often to us). A man or boy might be called 'son'.



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12 Aug 2011, 10:01 am

I think these terms are a little weird coming from strangers, but it doesn't bother me too much. I mean, they're strangers ... presumably this is a just a fleeting encounter and I'll never see them again.



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14 Aug 2011, 3:40 pm

I enjoy being called that, but only by guys though, and guys my own age, is it weird for it to make me feel good inside?


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