finally decided to stop lurking and jump in... hi :)

Post Reply New Topic

Hi. I have been reading the posts at Wrong Planet forever and decided it was time to actually register.

I was diagnosed with AS by my son's psych in our many family appointments trying to get a proper diagnosis for my son. Getting a diagnosis was a bit of a relief....finally having a name for the reason I felt different and struggled with so many things that seemed to come so easy to everyone else.

Wrong Planet has been such a great help to me since the diagnosis, and I look forward to actually participating.

Hi! I am also new.

I think I know what you mean...it's a little scary to feel so different and not have a name for it. I've always felt that giving something a name makes it a little more real, not so abstract. For me, finding out I had AS was a bit of a vindication. As a child, I was considered by many to be willful, spoiled, lazy, and arrogant, along with other less-than-flattering traits. After a while, I started believing them. Finding out that I was communicating differently and thus causing the misconception of my character made a big difference in my life.

Haha, that's cool that you lurked at first, I think I did a little but then I really wanted to reply and did so.

Anyways, welcome to WP, hope you enjoy it here.

Heya, welcome!

thanks chrissyrun and moog.

Enkidu has Lore coming out from being triggered by "Lurker" so here it is:

I lurk in the shadows watching your moments in being
Finding the the silver lining in all things from the bowels of silent embrace
I know the ins and outs of Labyrinth
The eye holes and ear "canals"

I hear the whispers of your heart
I look and bear witness to your actions
They are malevolent; malice and spit.
They pierce and shatter truth and light

And in its place do you unleash "Bette Noir"
You do not hold truth in your heart
You do not hold faith in your mind
Your actions are seen by me and I know your true name.

If you are in my way. I will yield, I am silent.
If you are in my way. I will flow through you and see all things, I am silent.
If you are against me. I will allow you entrance to my heart. Go there and place what you wish. Do your worst... if you can. AND LEAVE. I am the sole arbiter and facilitator of sacrificing myself to you.

You have placed rocks in my waters.
You have put soil and stone where air is.
You have snuffed the burgeoning fires that my mountainous and open volcano is
My volcano is now inactive. For your part you have thrown sticks and stones in until all was covered up:

and what is left?

A bleached neurotypical white teenager. From the boughs of my fires as a natural autistic I operated at your level and played your games of conformity. My spirit was grounded to dust and dissolved into dirt as blood runs out of body. I never forgot what you did to me. Though it was convenient for you to forget and remain the so called "Father" who has the power of "what I say goes and nothing short of compliance is accepted" rather "if you don't comply I will blow a terrible storm through you with the 'ALL MIGHTY FORCE I AM' " And so I thought I would remain in silent embrace.
Always looking
Always hearing
And truth spoke true to me.
Pierced the veil I am cloaked within

Little did you know
Little did you see
to soon forgot

I increased the force of gravity and weighed on your stones and sticks until I collapsed
my mountain lava to the inner most parts
I also tightened your chains around my body until I went numb
I am stronger than your torture. I am stronger than your ridicule. I wear your waste and make peace with your disgust.
I AM YOUR DARKNESS BECOME LIGHT! ! !

I was supposed to throw it all away.
I was supposed to give up all light shining forth
I came to the last vestige of light shining within
with intent on snuffing and killing its life.

Strode forward with malice and spite.
Strode forward to kill and destroy.
"My life, My light, My love, My fiber and play of action rooted in the facets of gentleness empathy peace and kindness"
There in that hour of day winthin weeks and months enshrouded in years: that moment one choice to decide Yes or No

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

I lost everything.
I remember not
what happened
but in the aftermath
I am conscious unconscious

I turned away from my light
Looked where I was: Hearts Darkness
saw all manner of creatures
heard all voices of fear and control
and smiled
"It will be a sad day for the darkness"

For all the years I've lived I have not moved
and no creature not one force has slipped past me
I meat every challenge with stoic faith and monotone silence
if that were even possible

My time is neigh.
Your sticks and stones can't hold me forever
My Lava is boiling burgeoning and spouting a tantrum.
It's angry moving and has a voice.

Its' strength is doubled quadrupled and multiplied exponentially
Your stones are fast flying and falling of my mountain.
My strength is growing
The time is neigh upon us
The festering rotted and arcane forest surrounding my slopes has overgrown its' boundaries
The time is neigh upon us
Your creatures inhabit my overgrown forest
They sow discord and reap deceit in all things
I have fast fought against Legion
I have ever fought against Legion
I will never surrender against Legion
The time is neigh upon us
My mountain will BLOW
and when she does
the terror will be yours

If you are in my way, you have entered a house that speaks true with sword and shield. I wield ExCalibur
If you are in my way, I see all that you are and know your true name.
My silence is broken for the protection of my-selves all thoughts and feelings included.
If you are against me, you do not pass go you do not collect 200 dollars.
You're entrance to my heart of hearts is accepted. I love you. And so, your darkness placed in my heart is shunted stopped and forced back by way of love. The whiplash and subsequent shame and guilt that follows is your own doing and not shared by me. I look down on you from my truth and command that you have so violated my sacred force. Thus do I shut down all systems of manipulation ridicule and malice from you with force that the greater your intent to cause harm abuse or shame in any way is sent back to you with my interest.

I am the lurker in the shadows ever waiting till light reaches all things. Then there will I shed this cloak of darkness and be transparent in the starry sky!

Thus do I proclaim truth.




Whew that's my introduction ( D

Wow, Enkidu...that was quite an introduction.
I love the word malevolent.
And the use of methaphor.
and this line....
It's angry moving and has a voice.
very cool.

Welkome to WrongPlanet.

The WP Kink

Congratulations on registering ming.

I too lurked for a long time before finally going for it! I'm sure you will find this place very useful for both you and your son.

Sounds like you'll be just fine here, enjoy your stay!

Welcome! I'm new here too, but it looks like a great place. I love your avatar! It reminds me of myself...

So does this: