Aspie boys, answer this question

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Ok what if a girl liked you and you didnt like her and she wouldnt back off? Then how would you feel/react.

I know this question doesnt sound like a big deal. But I just want responses. Im not gonna talk about the current issue i have on hand.

Edit: Im a girl btw....

Edit #2: Goodness sakes Im coming close to revealing the situation. This question, in the situation where the girl isnt stalking you or trying to contact you all the time. She contacts a bit more then most people but not excessively. And you guys hangout moderately.

Last edited by Ai_Ling on 08 Aug 2011, 4:31 pm, edited 2 times in total.

So far this has not happened to me, if a girl has liked me they usually backed off soon after they got to know me.

I have no idea because I haven't experienced this, but if it would happen, I think I would still have no idea what to do.

If you tell her to back off, and she ignores that, she would be stalking.

If online I would simply block her or ignore her.

If it's for real, and if she's not some psycho or creepy, then I would be flattered by her determinism and might reconsider her advances. This doesn't happen everyday to me, and I don't think it happens everyday to any 'aspie boy'.

ok, for the sake of the argument; lets assume i actually notice that she's making avances.

i would indeed be flattered, like boo, and reconsider how i really feel.
if i feel doubt or nothing special, i would give her a chance for a date, but i would honestly say that her chances are low.
if i actually feel negative (can be for whatever reason, be it the IQ of a carrot, her being a living paining of tatoos, generally being trashy...), i have a great trick up my sleeves: i'm an aspie.
i can easily 'deactivate' the nt-emulation i have built up, especially in a situation where this would most likely occur, where i'm already stressed.
noone i have ever seen has been able to stay close to me when i go 'full-autistic', but the problem is that the repulsion is usually permanent, and as collateral damage others also notice extreme weirdness, so this is a last resort, but a lower form of this effect usually suffices.

Depends what you mean by 'wouldn't back off'. If you mean 'wouldn't stop hanging around with you', then that'd be fine. I've become good friends with people who've liked me before. If you mean 'wouldn't stop making advances' then I suppose I'd have to be blunt and say 'I'm not interested' and leave it at that.

What Boo said^

Except I would say "determination" instead of "determinism" [/Aspie Joke]

at least from my point of view, if she doesn't "back off", I'll make sure to do whatever is needed to be able to breathe. obviously if I didn't like her. then she would only be doing me a disservice.
at first, I probably wouldnt even notice if she wasn't making such overt advances, or even then (if I did not WANT to see the attraction gained).

This happened to me. My NT friend told me what was going on, so I told the girl outright that I had no interest in her. She then became suicidal, and I had to rectify it. Terrible mess, really.

I can definitely relate to this, a couple years ago some girl from law school that I find completely unattractive started spending too much time around me, my then girlfriend went berserk over the whole thing for some reason and that eventually led to us breaking up. After the break up the girl started spending even more time around me and eventually we even ended up working in the same office, unfortunately I sort of started hanging out a lot with her but then found out she just didn't like me but was kind of obsessed with me.

One night she brought a friends of hers to a party and we really hit it off, since we started dating she went berserk on her friend and me (even though in theory no one knew she liked me yet she was clearly obsessed with me). I have dated her former friend for the past 8 months (soon to break up anyways) and now she doesn't speak to me when we come across each other, personally I don't care but it's very funny since she's the crazy one.

My advice to men is to enjoy casually when a girl you don't like likes but never give her hope, if she likes you in a creepy way run fast and run far (and don't even give the slightest impression it might be reciprocate).

To women, be persistent at first but if the guy doesn't really appreciate you just back off and find another one, if you feel like you're obsessing please go see a mental health professional.

I've been in this exact situation. A girl was deeply in love with me but I didn't fell a thing for her and just wanted to stay friends. I felt like I couldn't do anything for her so I just talked with her about her feelings, and that's all there is to it. We've been doing so for months and eventually she found someone else, but she said she was still in love with me at that moment. After two years of being in such a relationship, I figured it was time to let go, so I did. At this moment, I haven't spoke to her for months and she didn't send me any message or whatsoever. I never gave her hope that one day I would fell in love with her, because I didn't want her to feel bad in the end, so that's what I did.

I don't know if this answers your question, but this is all I can think of.

It would bring feelings of great discomfort. I would sit them down to try and get it through their head that I am unnattracted to them in a romantic way. If that doesn't work, I would dissociate with them.

I would feel relieved if the girl and I could look past this and go back to being friends. Otherwise I would be saddened.

Last edited by Jonsi on 07 Aug 2011, 7:52 pm, edited 1 time in total.

It wouldnt happen with me because my own attraction is set up based on attraction to me. If a woman actually wanted to be with me that badly, well, i'd probably be quite flattered and interested back.

I've been in situations like this a handful of times, it really really irritates the crap out of me. I don't like unwanted attention at all. Usually if the unwelcomed attraction persists for a few months even after I've sent clear signals indicating that I'm not interested, I'll respond by suddenly breaking off the friendship for good without even saying why and I don't speak to the girl again.

I can't tell you from the male point of view, but from the female point of view of having someone not willing to give up.

It's terrible. You might think it'd be flattering, but instead it turns into wanting your own life back, wanting to not have to deal with someone constantly chasing you, not wanting to deal with someone getting to controlling because of obsessing so badly.

For me it got to the point where when I started dating someone else, he exploded completely, I was unable to associate with the social group for months, and wasn't able to be in any contact with him for years. Don't let it go to that point.

If someone's not interested, let them not be interested. If you are still interested but willing to interact with them just as a friend, and willing to let them have their own life, then okay. But /don't/ let it get to the point where its interfering with their friendships and their life. It only will hurt both of you.

Be careful. And if someone says to back off then listen to them. Don't make them say so time and time again. It's not fun to have to say time and time again, even if it is someone you'll associate with at a friendship-like level.