I'm giving in.

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I'm a coward, too scared to face my problems. I'm weak, unable to take a blow. I'm stupid, unable to figure out how to escape. I've tried fixing it by myself, and I've tried ignoring it. I've begged for help. I'm a sick, sick person, and I'm not getting a cure. I'd take it now if I had it, but that's not gonna happen.

I don't know why I can't just listen. Why can't I just obey? Why must I get myself into the same s**t everyday? Why won't anyone believe I'm not a pyscho? Is that it then? Am I just so crazy I think I'm perfectly normal? Well, now what? I'm nothing but a lying, stealing b***h. There's no hope for me left. My father's left me, my mother hates me, my brothers don't care and everyone else thinks I'm just a whiny baby desperate for attention. I was, I'll admit. I was greedy and wanted to live life instead of wake up every morning wishing I was dead. I wanted help. I won't need that anymore. I just wasn't created for that. So it's fine. I'll just stop fighting. Why I ever bothered is a mystery to me.

I've failed myself, my family, my community.

My name is Ariel, aka The Gamma Geek, and I give in. Goodbye.

you're only 16, worth holding on incase something good happens? it's ok to be scared and weak, don't worry

This sounds too much like a suicide note for my tastes. If you're still reading this, Ariel, and you're thinking of doing it, DON'T! I don't know if I can do anything to help, but if you write me, I can certainly try. Or just post here, and you'll have the combined experiences of Aspies of every age and lifestyle at your disposal. Every problem has a solution, you just have to find it, or find the one who already did.

Please hold on. You're young. You have more going for you than you know at this point. You'll find something you enjoy when you get more freedom, or maybe even before then. You're young, but not a child; you only have a couple more years until you can be on your own.

If you were a coward, you would have given in long ago.

Just wait. The dusk is always darkest before the dawn. And the dawn is coming. It always does.

+1
Please, I hope you're reading these...

Please call your doctor RIGHT NOW. Please. Do not harm yourself. Your life is not over. You can feel better.

Don't do it! It will get better if you stick it out!

I've known more than one suicidal person. One of them actually told me he was going to kill himself. I tried to talk him out of it and he didn't do it (to this day I have no idea if what I said worked or if he came to his senses himself). Both have become a lot happier since those times.

All I'll say if it feels like you can't bear life anymore and you've tried everything, then maybe it's time to let it all go.

Goodbye Ariel.

Maybe you have. But past events don't always predict the future.

I've had 2 fairly major failures before, and felt very bad about them. I'm doing much better now.

You could be doing better in the future too, and I hope that's what you do.

Dude, failure is just en route to success if you continue to try.

I failed at that too. Too much of a chicken to take the coward's way out. Maybe I'll get lucky and she'll kill me.

Oh, just don't it at all. You've got far too much life left. :\

What's the point? I'm just a "F****ing stupid, slobbish pyscho that cares only about [myself]". My own mother just told me she hates me, my father is offically dead to me, my brother Matt left me, all my friends are gone and not a soul in the world cares that every morning I have to pull the knife away. I take so much care making sure it's sharp and clean, but I can never use it. And of course it's the biggest damn knife in the drawer. Why not? Slasher films used to be one of those things that made me happy. Now, like the rest, it's one of those things that make me feel already dead. But, being the sick freak I happen to be, I happen to find the idea amusing. Gonna die Jason style. Or not, since I'm too f****ing stupid to do it.

I've failed. I knew I'd never make it to 17, but I never thought I'd be expecting death tomorrow. Jeezus I am a disgrace to the family. In a family of blacksheep, I'm the blackest. And I'm just digging down further and further. Where the light has gone, I don't know. I don't care much anymore. I just don't want to get hurt anymore. I don't want to die, but it's like it's the only way out. I'm already practically lying in a coffin rotting away as the stupid zombie I've become.

Why the hell am I even posting this? Even if I AM subconsciously begging like a baby for help, how are any of you gonna help? No offense, but I might as well be on another planet. Alone on a planet sounds real nice really.

Screw this. I need to f*****g call someone before I put Mr. Voorhees to use.

None taken. Pretty much people just saying that you have their ear if you need to vent and possibly giving you suggestions. Some situations are just messed up tho with the solution being either to walk away from it, or endure it till you can walk away from it.

I get that you don't want to die, I also get you feel there aren't many other ways out.

If you think it will help to talk to someone, please do so. If people here listening and responding helps--post and talk it out here.

The only thing that anyone could look forward to is you getting through this--nothing else.

Your mom sounds like a pretty shameless parent, at BEST parents might not understand or like their kids attitude or behavior, she just seems really small for her to say she actually hates you.

If you want to get even, a good way to do it could be to be happy whereas the people in your life making you miserable--seem pretty miserable themselves.