Hey there...you sound how I feel:) What I mean to say is, I know the frustration and the rage that comes with wanting the same kind of connection with a friend that seems to come so easy to other people. You try so hard and in the end, it's one little superficial thing that gets in the way. Yeah, I know how it is. Sometimes, I hate people, too. (I wish I was a cat. They don't lie, hide their motives, or "read between the lines." No mind games, just meow, purr, and a chomp on the hand when I'm not dishing out the cat food fast enough:))
Oh, yes, and I know only too well about how the adults in one's life will keep pushing to initialize social interactions. I was a teenager once. It was miserable. "Be social," they'd say, "Go up and try to make friends with that other little girl." Well, that other little girl didn't want to be my friend. And who's fault was that, according to my parents, teachers and therapists? Why, mine, of course! I "scared her off," "gave too much information," blah, blah, blah...Did they ever stop to think that the problem may have been the other girl? No, of course not. I was the one with a "screw loose!"
The things you want to do, instead of being social, all sound much more preferable to me! Books, video games, music and computers are things I'd rather do, too. But after a while, it's nice to hear another voice or, in this case, read another person's words. So when you've finished that book (or 3, or 10), beaten that video game 20 times, bopped your head to some music and done lots and lots of stuff on the computer, I hope you'll come back and see all the nice things everyone has to say to you:) After all, who says socializing can't be done on a computer? It's one of the best places:)
I know this is off-topic and I hope I don't offend, but just had to tell you that I really like your choice for an avatar. Sailor Moon was my first experience with anime and I've been hooked ever since!