Ruined relationships due to meltdowns

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I've ruined relationships with the few "friends" I had because of meltdowns. It really sucks. It's hard enough to make friends with AS, and the few I have found who actually like my quirky personality, I lose because of meltdowns over silly things.

It's left me alone. I'm very depressed about it. And the thing with NT's is, they never forgive. Anyone have similar stories?

Just few months ago, I wrote an heartfelt email asking advice to one of my few friends.
She wrote me text on phone, saying briefly: " I will reply to your email on Monday".
I took literally...literal interpretation because of my AS mind..but she has not Asperger's
she is NT and often people say something and then they don't do
I can't understand why!
and I was waiting her email but she did not write me neither on Monday, neither after a week.
In few words, I wrote back to say: " why you did not write me on Monday?
Now there is no point you reply me. The momentum has gone. It is ok in anycase."
I tried to explain kindly literal interpretation and waiting for her advices..
but she just disappeared forever...
We have been friends

Oh, this happened to me so badly that I posted asking for advice in the friendship area.

But yes, its definitely happened. But I've found that not all NTs won't forgive, some of them will, especially those who've dealt with people with anxiety problems - comparing to panic attacks helps them.

In my case there are definitely NTs who've forgiven me, but central people in the social group haven't, and its messing it up for me.

I think many of my past friends stopped being my friends because of my continuous meltdowns.

I rarely doubt that it was other people's fault that I got angry. Why people call it a meltdown is beyond me. That meshing of anger and sadness makes me feel so alive in between the wall to wall drudgery that people box me in to.

I recently had a relationship of just under four years collapse under the strain of meltdowns from verbal abuse. Dont worry for it makes your real friends glow one day.

I recently had a relationship of just under four years collapse under the strain of meltdowns from verbal abuse. Dont worry for it makes your real friends glow one day.

This is exactly what I fear in my future. Meltdowns just happen with me. I can seem to control them when I'm with friends, but I can't when at home. So if I did get married and move in with someone, after about 4 or 5 years of living together, I might become so familiar until I feel comfortable enough to go into one.

But lucky for me, my meltdowns aren't those types where I go all non-verbal because of a loud noise or a bright light. Mine are where I get frustrated, and start shouting and bickering with the other person in the room, and the other person definately knows why I'm having the paddie, and knows how I feel too because I tell them. I've found that lots and lots of couples have this anyway. We used to live next door to a couple who had frequent arguments, involving banging and throwing things and screaming and crying then somebody storming off to the car and not being seen for a couple of days, then they're back together again. So hopefully my ''meltdowns'' should be like how others are when they have arguments.

I had lot of them in my last relationships and thought I was going to be one of those aspies who would be unable to have one. I didn't think any guy would want me if I was going to keep having meltdowns since relationships seemed to increase my AS and I realized it was too much work for me.

But now I rarely have one because I met a man who was right for me and he doesn't do a thing to cause one. Plus I am older and have learned to handle things better.

Way way too often.....down to 4 or 5 friends now, used to be somewhat normal and liked.

The best example I can give is I was at a baseball game with 2 of my closer college friends who had always called me by this nickname I was known as through college that I never really liked but tolerated..as soon as they asked a few questions about it nostalgically I flew off the handle and let off 3 years of frustration, proclaiming I never wanted to be called it again and that I never got respect socially because of it. They were really taken aback and respected me enough to stop calling me by it, but the vibe was really weird from then on..I left the game early and don't really talk to either of them anymore.

I have a lot more minor occurences of this that usually involve me getting really defensive out of nowhere and taking back and forth jabs to unnecessary levels. People really don't like getting talked down to in a matter of fact tone, and I did it constantly later in college with people I knew without realizing it trying to defend my frail ego (don't use dissociative drugs if your aspie and thinking about it), more or less leading to my current laughable (lack of) social life.

I used to have meltdowns but then I learned about Schizophrenia and I suddenly started noticing and analyzing my behavior was illogical before it got out of hand. I don't know if that makes any sense to anyone, but it helped me a lot. Too late, sadly.

I notice now that the opposite thing happens. I cause "NT's" to have meltdowns.

It's extremely hard to convince people that I mean things literally and am not speaking rhetorically. Other people argue that I really did mean it that way, and eventually their heads explode! (figuratively!)