Why dont i talk?*****

Post Reply New Topic

at work i just stand there, take orders, people socialize around me but im silent and wierd.......


no real emotion or thoughts come to my mind other then..."my life sucks" "My brain is defective".....................

I just stand there living in a black hole where people taunt me, ignore me and look at me as the stupid one...... i rather not live this life if it has to be this way....

Do you want to talk to these people?

You don't know that you can't, if you've never really wanted to when you've tried.

I'm asking you to consider the possibilty that you're not bizarre, but you just don't want to talk to these people.

Don't beat yourself up because you've concocted some idea of what's normal that you don't actually want to live up to - unless what you really want to do is find an excuse to pity yourself.

I know where you are coming from and how it feels being taunted and made to feel stupid. In my experience it’s really not that easy to socialise with people unless you have something in common with them. Socialising has always been very difficult for me but I think that’s because I always tried to socialise with people outside of my ilk. I have found that I can socialise quite well with people who are similar to me who share a special interest, but ONLY one on one, and in short bursts.

Don’t be so hard on yourself thinking you can never socialise. You can’t let you self image be distorted like this. See if you can find people you can relate to who share some of your interests.

Are you sure you really want to socialise with these particular people or just relate to people

I think those nasty people who feel the need to taunt people clearly show themselves for what they are. The good thing you can take from experiences with those people is to see just how cool it is to rise above them and be a better person, showing them up even more. So don’t let people like that draw you to conclusions about your own self worth because clearly they aren’t worth much themselves.

Hi Panic,

Informal speech is still often difficult for me to initiate. It took just about three decades before the realm of neurological problems correlated to this difficulty became officially identified. In early grade school, I was grouped with "speech impediments" and "mental retardation", but when I was successful in university, the side-effects of the internal originating impairments placed the specificity to Temporal Lobe Epilepsy (TLE) with Asperger's Syndrome (either direct or conditioned from TLE), and presently to the particulars of the root genetic disorders (from amongst LQTS, Tuberous Sclerosis Syndrome, etc.).

At times when I cannot initiate directed informal speech, I can start speech by reading something in print aloud, and then sometimes continue speaking into more relevant speech to the situation. As phenomena with epileptic seizures can totally disrupt my verbal behaviour, my "wanting", "desire", "free choice", etc. to initiate speech is totally superseded by the effects of my impairments. With decades of experts previously telling me it was my "lack of" "wanting to", "motivation to", "drive to", "character to", "free will to", etc. "speak", such external nonsense about the internal "free-will Homunculus" made B.F. Skinner's Radical Behaviourism expressed in his book "Beyond Freedom and Dignity" very explanatory of which of what was a failing.

The prejudice over any speech impediment is intense, and in my lawsuits against federal employers, the mere scintilla of a hint of neurological impairment can reduce a top 3% ranking score into the bottom 3% of ranking scores, and this can involve things listed for the perpetrators of prejudice also only in print, such as my receiving a failed rating because I was concluded as being "deaf and dumb" and purely prejudicially regarded as a total "mental ret*d" from the printed words "epilepsy" and "neurological speech impedimets".

Skinnerian Behaviouism gives the most clues on how to manipulate various stimuli to circumvent many social and environmental roadblocks presented to people with impairments, but even with the ADAAA, the people suffering from the impairments often still get the blame for the prejudice presented to them.

Tadzio

For me, its usually about all I can cope with to deal with all the incoming sensory input when there are people bustling around and talking back and forth all around me.

Even when its quiet, if I'm forced suddenly into a social confrontation in which I'm expected to initiate things, my brain shuts down and I go momentarily mute. It helps if someone else speaks to me first, the less pressure, the better.

There's no crime in being the quiet person in the room. It just makes you seem mysterious and potentially intelligent (since you're always listening, or apparently lost in thought). When someone opens their mouth and starts babbling about pointless stupid stuff, you can assess their IQ in less than a minute.

People will ask you questions sooner or later, it just takes us longer to make social connections. That's often a plus, too, because people feel that you're not a babbler who's going to run and tell everything you know just to hear your head rattle. Meaning they are more likely to feel they can trust you.