Which Conditions did you consider before AS?
Which conditions or disorders did you consider before you found out that you have Asperger's Syndrome?
Asperger's Syndrome as an official condition is fairly new, and wasn't very well known until a few decades ago.
As a result many adult aspies have been diagnosed/found out that they have Asperger's Syndrome as adults.
However, most of us have been aware that we were different from most people and have tried to find out what
made us different, we have been seeking an explanation for our difficulties, felt a need for a name to put on that
'something' which set us apart.
A lot of us have no doubt had periods where we thought one or more other conditions might be what we had
or were, and there are a number of conditions that often occur together with Asperger's Syndrome (such as f.x
ADD/ADHD),.
Which conditions or disorders did you consider before you found out that you have Asperger's Syndrome?
It would be great if you will add a little about what made you realize it was a mistake, what finally lead to you
realizing Asperger's is the right name for what you have/are.
My own story: I never had any clue about what my character type was called. I've looked up more or less every
disorder and illness under the sun since I was a teenager, but none of them ever fit. Yet I always knew - as
did my surroundings - that I am very different from the neurotypical majority. I didn't know about ADHD until after
I learned about Asperger's. When I was diagnosed with Asperger's Syndrome I also received an ADHD diagnosis.
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"One Law for the lion and the ox is oppression" W.Blake.
"Life itself is an exercise in Exceptions!" Capt. Picard (Star Trek - The Next Generation).
I just thought I was mentally ill, that somewhere along the way I had got incredibly messed up psychologically but I couldn't see how. At one time I considered the possibility that something awful might have happened in my past when I was too young to remember it and that had somehow made me the way I am.
The problem for me was that I didn't really have any idea what was the real cause of my difficulties. I looked at lots of psychology books and self help books and saw lots of different counsellors and such people, trying to find the answer to why I am the way that I am. I felt strongly that there was something seriously wrong with me but didn't know what it was. I felt less than human and very abnormal but didn't know why. At times I thought I had social phobia which I do have. I put a lot of my difficulties down to depression, although I really knew there was a lot more to it than that. I also knew that I had met other people who suffer from depression and that they are nothing like me. I really knew that depression alone couldn't account for the extreme difficulty I have socially.
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Sometimes it's the very people who no one imagines anything of, who do the things no one can imagine.
From The Imitation Game
Before I was diagnosed with AS, I was diagnosed with OCD, anxiety and depression (all of which I genuinely did, and to some degree still do, suffer from). But even after taking medication and going to therapy, I still "didn't feel right".
In the book about OCD that my psychiatrist gave me, "The Boy Who Couldn't Stop Washing", everyone in the book who had social problems due to OCD began to have a normal social life after getting treatment for it. But even though my OCD was under control, I was still an outcast at school.
That's when my mom and I began looking into what else I could have. We looked into Borderline Personality Disorder which, interestingly enough, is one condition that females with AS are sometimes misdiagnosed with before being diagnosed with AS. My mom bought a book about BPD, but when I read it, I thought "This doesn't quite fit me".
Then one day while going in to the doctor's for bloodwork to check for thyroid problems, the doctor began asking my mom a bunch of questions that I didn't think had any connection to anything. The visit ended with her saying that she suspected that I had Asperger's. My mom and I brought it up to my psychiatrist, and he administered a bunch of tests to my mom and I. I was diagnosed and the rest is history.
For years I tried to diagnose myself. I was in therapy from age 5 to 19, but the only official (mis)diagnosis I ever got was Depersonalization Disorder. This came from my descriptions of sometimes feeling the like the world was "far away" and being unable to speak or understand speech for periods of time, and also explained some of my clumsiness as things seemed the wrong size or shape. However, it was a far cry from explaining everything, and the treatment for it (a mild antidepressant) didn't help at all. I only took it for a month before refusing to have it anymore because it just made me feel worse.
I considered on my own, at different ages:
OCD because of my obsessive organization of some things as well as stimming (in my case, mostly feeling the need to blink as things go past me, especially in a car).
Schizophrenia because my experiences with the world seemed so unreal and I was told my spoken language was unusual, and also because I talked to myself almost constantly, usually imagining that a real person was there (sort of like imaginary friends, though not quite), and I mistook this for hallucinations.
Narcolepsy, because of frequent sudden episodes of extreme fatigue and inability to focus or concentrate, which my mother always insisted I was faking, and insomnia when I was prepared for and needed to sleep.
Fibromyalgia, because of mysterious joint pains with no apparent cause which I now assume were the result of depression, lack of sleep, and lack of exercise.
General insanity, because I always knew something was wrong, but everyone around me, including the shrinks I had to see, always insisted that I was perfectly normal, if a bit of a hypochondriac. The unusual qualities of my personality were attributed to my high IQ and a simple desire for attention (which, to be fair, I didn't get nearly enough of as a child because my mother had massive issues of her own and my father was only permitted to see us once per week).
Although I've struggled with severe depression on and off, I was never diagnosed with it. As a child, they simply said I was too young to be depressed (it started around age 5) and assumed that being clever, I had just read about it in a book and decided I wanted it for attention (the beginning of a lifetime of accusations of hypochondria). As a teenager, they said "all teenagers think they're depressed" and ignored my complaints. As a young adult in university, the shrink was at least intelligent enough to see that something was really wrong, but didn't want to encourage a diagnosis of depression because of how it might affect me in the future to have that on my record, and accepted the psychiatrist's diagnosis of depersonalization disorder and only worried about treating that.
When I finally learned about AS I felt first an overwhelming relief as I finally knew with 100% certainty what was wrong and always had been wrong, that I wasn't crazy, that I'm not a hypochondriac. This was slowly followed with horror at the realization that there's not much I can do about it. There's no real treatment, and most of my problems will stay with me forever. Schizophrenia and narcolepsy can be treated with a pill. AS just takes a lifetime of training that can never be fully effective.
This is a very interesting thread. When I was growing up, my symptoms, although more or less obvious, were never considered "bad" enough to try and find a diagnosis. So I never was (diagnosed, that is). To answer the question, therefore, I didn't really consider other conditions. For that matter, I didn't consider Asperger's either, which I had never heard of, until I was nearing 40. I remember taking a ton of Psych courses in college in hopes of gaining some insight, unsuccessfully.
I tried very hard all my early adult life to pass as "normal", but as most of us here have found out the hard way, you can only keep that up for so long. My husband accepted my weirdness, thank god, and we actually had a happy marriage for most of our 17 years together.
A turning point, I think, came when I had my children. My post-partum weirdness lasted for a year or so before I finally returned to some semblance of normal functioning, much to my husband's relief. But then, as the kids grew, I discovered an astonishing thing ... they became my "socialization coaches". Many's the time they would quietly take me aside and explain some situation to me. How funny is that? Ten-year-old kids acting as life coaches to their mother. But it didn't seem unusual to them ... they grew up not knowing any other way. They're 22 now, and in many ways we're still more like sisters than mother and daughters.
Today, I am self-diagnosed. There is no doubt of it. When I discovered there was such a thing as AS, it was the proverbial light bulb turning on. As others have mentioned, there is some measure of comfort in finally having a name to call it, and in knowing that you're not the only one. But there is also a profound frustration in realizing there is no way out of it.
However, I've had 46 years to figure out strategies for dealing with it, and for perfecting my "cognitive emotions", as they say. I think I've been reasonably successful at it. Hopefully, I can find ways to convey that message to others. It is not hopeless.
I'm fortunate in that my AS is not as profound as some others. I am mostly happy now. I still experience many of the same things that people mention on this site, the difference now being that I know how to work my way out of them, more or less.
Mummy_of_Peanut
Veteran
Joined: 20 Feb 2011
Age: 51
Gender: Female
Posts: 3,564
Location: Bonnie Scotland
Adoption - I thought that I might have been, considering that I was not as popular as my siblings, even among my own relatives.
Birth Defect - I thought that my brain may have been missing a piece or two since birth.
Clinical Depression / Bipolarism - My father displayed symptoms of these, although he never had an official diagnosis.
Mental Retardation - Too many herp-dee-derp moments.
Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) - My father and other bullies often abused me for their own amusement.
Traumatic Brain Injury - I still have a scar from where I was hit in the head with a rock.
Fortunately, I finally received an official diagnosis from a medical professional, who said I have a "mild" form of AS/HFA.
Self-diagnosis means nothing without confirmation from a medical professional.
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Depression-well actually am depressed. This has lasted 15 years and I've had a lot of therapy and anti-depressants which hasn't lifted it.
Social anxiety-problems eye contact, very shy possibly have this. This first came up 10 years ago when being screened for CBT. I was then referred for psychotherapy instead which came up with possible AS but I didn't believe him and my GP didn't think a diagnosis would be helpful as I needed treatment for depression. This did seem to fit and I've been on an SA forum for years. I've not responded well to CBT for this and recently this was why AS was suggested and the way I got on with the therapist/got upset over things.
General anxiety-stress about things a lot so wondered about this
Avoidant personality disorder or some other personality disorder, the first one as I avoid social situations and it is related to SA
various other psychological things from doing quizzes online and matching some of the symptoms-I'll post if I can remember
People (GP, Mum, therapists) have questioned whether there is anything wrong a lot or dismissed AS. My Mum thinks I am bad tempered and oversensitive and analyse things too much. She accepts AS now for me, and possibly my Dad who she divorced.
leejosepho
Veteran
Joined: 14 Sep 2009
Gender: Male
Posts: 9,011
Location: 200 miles south of Little Rock
It would be great if you will add a little about what made you realize it was a mistake, what finally lead to you
realizing Asperger's is the right name for what you have/are.
Like Fnord has mentioned, my first thought as a child was that I must have been adopted.
Through most of my 'teens, I next assumed my religious upbringing must have made me different from everyone else.
By the time I got to my mid-20s, I had become very fearful of eventually being "found out" as "mentally ill" ... and at 27, I was diagnosed "Manic-Depressive (with psychotic tendencies)".
In 1981 (when I was 31 and AS/HFA was becoming better-known), all of the above was set aside in favor of my diagnosis as a chronic alcoholic.
A fellow alcoholic suggested WP to me about two years ago, and now things finally make sense!
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I began looking for someone like me when I was five ...
My search ended at 59 ... right here on WrongPlanet.
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I actually was adopted, and assumed for a while that that messed with my mind... plus my mom had quite a nasty temper and tended to pitch screaming fits at the slightest provocation. And she'd interrogate me while doing that and I couldn't even think straight.
Anyway, I've got an official diagnosis of ADHD and some meds that I had to recently stop taking because it caused heart palpitations But it's obvious to even a casual observer that there's more to it than that.