Do you let your kids line stuff up?

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I was just told that lining up toys was a fixating behavior and I should try to redirect and eventually not allow my son (almost 3 yrs old) to do this.

I just figured that he needed to do this in order to organize himself, and it seems counterproductive to not allow him to do it.

Any thoughts would be appreciated.

I think forcing a child, to not do something they want to, just so they look better in society is wrong. I agree it's also counterproductive. Tell the person who told you this, "What if someone said you couldn't do something you enjoy? You think because my child isn't like you, they don't have feelings?"

I would never stop my son from doing something that isn't harming himself or others and that he derives some kind of pleasure out of.

My son is also one to line certain things up. His shoes, his cars, his pencils, things like that. Yet in the very same room, dirty clothes are found shoved in the closet or under the bed - so I know it's not a need for organization - just a need to line those things up. He also needs to spin on his desk chair when he comes home from school. I left another site when another mother explained to me that "stims" are a socially unacceptable "bad behavior". And she got lots of backup.

My son may spend hours watching his trains go around, and he may pack those trains up for months at a time. It comes and goes, but it is who he is. I wouldn't change it for the world.

And belittling the hobbies of children isn't, I suppose. There are many more bad behaviours NTs do, I don't think they should be ones to talk.

the only reason i could see for *not* letting them line things up would be if this behavior was prohibiting your child from doing what they are supposed to be doing....ie: instead of eating the green beans~line them up...instead of counting the blocks~line them up...etc

I got tired of being bashed for my non-curebie, let's see how they can be the best THEM they can be stance. It's a fairly popular site too, I was quite surprised.

Now, this is the only "mega-site" I'm on. The rest are all small, neighborhood-feeling sites. It's tough enough raising and being married to aspies, I didn't need grief online too!

Yeah, we're a pretty divided group. I know I marginalize myself when I talk against medicalization of autistic traits. People think acceptance of autism is laziness and radicalism.
Back to the topic, not only is it okay to allow for the repetitive behavior, try joining it. Things are mostly done for a reason and by joining in the activity, you both might learn something about playtime and organization. Mirroring behavior is a good way for a child to see what it is he is doing and decide if it's right or unhelpful.
I used to photograph my son in the middle of a tantrum. It would stop him dead in his tracks and get him to smile and on to another subject. I also joined him in the tantrum and screamed just like him. Nonsensical jokes or phrases are fun to repeat too and I believe teaches about tone and inflection. We had 2 jokes; "Don't you R ever!! !" Which was a funny way to ridicule being reprimanded. "What is this, Christmas??! !" Which was about being disoriented and surprised by our surroundings or being angry over a silly situation. (the 2nd joke was something I said when I pulled onto a road which was surprisingly busy and in a shopping area, my son thought it was really funny)

amen....left another site because my "NT attitude" was unappreciated....just trying to muddle my way through this tangle of drs, dx's ,schools and crazy therapists..........

As far as little kid jokes go, I think "Who turned out the lights?" is a classic.

Aspiemom1...I know my mom did her best but I sure wish she had your perspective....It would have saved so much pain for both of us....

"changing" kids in general....This was very destructive to me....it harmed my sense of self and made me distrust my parents because they never gave me a logical reason and would not let me respond or show sadness or anger when forced to do things "their way".I know parents need to teach kids things that will help them be more succesful in life and I excepted this things(ussually)but save these battles for things that are really important....who is their behavior hurting?explain it(kids understand much more then they can actually verbalize)give them choices.....

If he is not doing it to the exclusion of everything else, I don't personally see how it could hurt him.
It just doesn't sound like very alarming behavior to me, but I'm no expert.

Our son Jamie lines his cars up from one side of his bedroom to the other - to me now it's like a work of art - he has an unknown order that the cares go in - and they are all perfectly positioned. I don;t think you should stop something that - gives enjoyment - and also makes him happy and calm...K

My son used to line things up and I just think of it as playing.

Not line stuff up? I still line things up...I've always found it relaxing.

I remember coming home from school after a lousy day and lining up my records or my books...I would get lost in thought while I did it and it was sort of my way of "de-compressing" ...I mulled over my problems and normally calmed down...

I don't throw things, I don't get violent or scream, I'm not good at venting by "discussion"...I line up the canned goods and the cd's....could be alot worse I think.

My son, 8, has been lining up cars since he was able to hold them. He makes very detailed designs in his room going from one side to the other. It used to bother me that he wouldn't "play" with them like other kids, but eventually I got used to it. The pediatric neurologist told us to let him do what makes him comfortable at home: tics, obsessions, lining up stuff, etc. He needs to know he is accepted and loved in his home environment. Life on the outside is too hard and for an Aspie to be accepted is very hard. We have learned to let him be himself.

The neurologist said that eventually some of his behaviors he will be able to control or do in private. Like if he feels his neck tic coming on he might use the restroom so no one would see it. He said it's like an itch you have to scratch.

I am so glad to hear that there are DR out there who are understanding and help parents understand and except their children...and parents who are willing to do so instead of "worring what the neighbors will say"...I think it is much easier for AS kids to make some adjustments to things they want to change as they get older(to avoid peer reidicule)if they have a place at home that is safe and stress free as possible....I think the idea that the bavior will just get worse if allowed to continue does not apply to alot of AS traits....and time and understanding will take care of some issues better then added stress of constantly feeling like your being hammered into a mold that doesnt fit..