Is it at all possible to win her back?

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Me and this girl have known each other for months, we have been through a lot of ups and downs and she's been treated very bad in the past, cheated on,beaten up, & the r word, she's also been put in hospital & had a misscarriage. Anyway I am a good person but when I'm angry I tend to say the wrong thing & I don't mean any old thing, I mean things which are damn right disgusting, I have autism btw too. My anger is vocal only, I'd never hit a woman or anything like that.

Anyway, she finally formed a relationship with me but told me to take things slow, I tried my best but I guess I got carried away & she said because I started to rush things she didn't want to be with me & it all turned into a big arguement, anyway she later came on msn & put a lads name in her name & I started to think that she had been playing me but then after I said what I thought I realized it said R.I.P but I wasn't thinking & only saw the lad name with I love you at the end; my head was really messed up. she then told me it was a dead baby & got really pissed at me, I didn't mean to think that but I used to have paranoia issues which could explain. anyway I told her in the end I accept & agree with the breakup, but then her friend comes on today saying I better leave her alone & calls me the worse names under the sun, I do agree I've said some bad things but her friend getting involved is only going to make matters worse.

She lives about 40 mins away from me but because she wanted to take things slow she didn't want to see face to face & I was trying to tell her we need to meet up, we need to bond, otherwise it's just gonna fade away, I guess thats what she means by rushing things. I've tried my best to do the no contact thing, only thing I did today was reply to her friend.

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Btw she tends to say some horribles things in arguements too, but reason I wanted to see her is also because she's been treated so bad I wanted to somehow change that for her & only way I could do that is be in person rather than over the phone or the internet..

We've also liked eachother for such a long time, & though we had our ups & downs I waited for her & she said no to other lads because she really likes me, & she hated it when I wouldn't reply to her messages after a while & one time we had an arguement & she told me to move on so I did & then she saw that I was talking to a girl & messaged me calling me a b*stard player & hated that I called the other girl beautiful, she told me to move on? just like now she has but she's still remained contact for some reason which is strange.

That sounds a little bit like a situation I was in recently.

For me it was best to move on and leave the ball in her court.

I know this is really cliché, but if it's meant to happen she'll come back on her own.

In the meantime, don't rule out dating someone else - maybe you'll find someone that makes you forget all about her...

Edit: one more thing, I know that it can be real tempting to be the "rescuer" - someone that will give her the care she needs to heal from what she's been through, but I'm not sure if that's the best foundation for a relationship.

Honestly I would just leave things alone. You sound like a very incompatible combination. She's repeating the cycle of dating people who treat her badly. Even though you don't intend to, you do because you are impulsive, pursue your own relationship needs when they are contra to her own, and have anger management issues even if doesn't manifest in a physical way.

I think one thing you could do to improve yourself is make a conscious effort to put things in perspective before you act. Ask yourself about the other person's needs instead of focusing on your own. You were afraid things would fizzle if you didn't meet her in person but fizzle for you or fizzle for her? They probably would not have fizzled for her because she communicated a need to take things slowly. This could be for various reasons but sometimes you need to accept another person's wishes without knowing what the reasons for them are. You pressured her into a pace she wasn't comfortable at moving at, because you were afraid either your interest in her would fizzle, or her interest in you would fizzle. And maybe your interest would have, but in that case you need to find someone who is as fast a mover as you are.

When you encounter something that you perceive as negative in a relationship, you need to consider different alternatives. For example, maybe you find out she told another man she loves him. Who is this man? It could be a relative. It could be a platonic friend who she was close to. It could be someone who did a big favor for her. Before you jump to conclusions, try to get all of the facts and if you still aren't sure, ask her about it.

Don't address problems when you're too upset to control yourself, because this is almost always a mistake and will almost always turn out badly. Give yourself some time to cool off and think rationally. Even if the other person is the one who is the provoker, tell them you are too upset to talk about it right now and will sit down and talk to them about it tomorrow after you've composed yourself.

Give yourself time to think.

Very good advice & I agree to a high extent, but the reason why I have been the way I was is because it's been 5 months & I believe I finally deserve a propper answer what she really wants, you see even though she said move on' tonight she has been acting strange, soon as I told her I was moving on she started to act differentely as if she didn't want me to. She said she wants a break, well I'll give her the break, maybe it's what we need to determine how much we really feel for eachother; I won't message her until she messages me that way I know when she's missing me. It took me 5 months of ups & downs to win her trust & her heart; when I lost her I was totally broken. Though I am not going to let it get to me; I'm going to show her I'm strong. maybe this break will allow her time to be ready, & I believe if I do the no contact rule she may after a while realize how much she misses me & stuff. thank you very much for advice people, you are amazing.