On the verge of crying right now

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It's currently 1:49 am where I'm at right now.

I get like this sometimes late at night. After listening to certain kinds of music and being in the dark alone with my thoughts. When the loneliness, despair, and depression becomes to much to bear.

I start to think if I just had a few close friends and a GF I would be the happiest person alive. We would hang out, have fun, and be happy w/o caring what other people thought. No worries about trying to impress people, other people making fun of/talking down to you.


I know it;s just a fantasy, but that doesn't stop me from thinking about it.

Hey, I remember you. Did you take a shower yet? If not, that's step 1.

I get that way too

LIFE IS SO CRUEL!

Uhm... something in this thread is making me uncomfortable even though it was well-meaning. Anyway...

MR20: It's not only a fantasy. The past is not a mirror of the future. They're two different things entirely. Things can change. I am truly sorry you feel so bad.

It is always in the middle of the night when we feel the loneliest or the most anxiety. I would stay away from dark and somber music near bedtime. Funny thing, when I was a teen, I too had problems of feeling lonely in the middle of the night. I tried getting up and getting dressed to go outside. Outdoors late at night is a wonderland, especially on a clear starry night. I began to study the sky and got a few books from the library on astronomy and stargazing.

My latenight loneliness turned into a hobby that I enjoy alone. My wife and kids are usually sound asleep and I am out in the yard with my telescope, enjoying the wonders of the universe.