Lack of popularity with men

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Joined: 22 Feb 2011
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30 Aug 2011, 12:15 am

Lack of popularity with the opposite sex is something I have been forced to endure over the years. It has brought me sadness, grief, loneliness, anger and frustration.

It started in my teen years and in my twenties I got to thinking even lepers could get more dates than I could.

Number of times I get asked out per year: 1 or 2. yes one or two. Doesn't give you a lot of chances to fall in love does it?

This issue used to grieve me to the point that I told a friend about it who had to go throught the same thing and she said that the "scene" changes after 35 and I would get much more sought after by then. I'm 33 so I must be getting closer to that point

It really pains you, just because you have a diagnosis of autism or similar, to think men (or in the men's case, women) won't give you the time of day but single moms, tacky loose women, women with tattoos, kids from different dads, etc, get more offers than you. Disgraceful.

Well ironically, I'm actually coupled myself, but thinking about the fact that I'm not, and never have been, sought after, pains me.

Ladies and gents, if you have a socially limiting condition like AS or autism, is not being popular with the opposite sex just our cross to bear?

:cry:

SadAspy
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30 Aug 2011, 12:55 am

missconduct77 wrote:

Number of times I get asked out per year: 1 or 2. yes one or two. Doesn't give you a lot of chances to fall in love does it? :

That's 1 or 2 more times than I've been asked out EVER.

aliensyndrome
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30 Aug 2011, 1:17 am

Some people on the spectrum are considered more "desirable" than others. It varies. I rarely get any attention or meet anyone I relate to and is intriguing in that respect.

MarketAndChurch
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30 Aug 2011, 1:43 am

being different is our cross to bare with all the negative aspects of it but we don't have to bare that cross alone. I wish aspie-affection was more affective.

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hale_bopp
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30 Aug 2011, 2:00 am

missconduct77 wrote:

It really pains you, just because you have a diagnosis of autism or similar, to think men (or in the men's case, women) won't give you the time of day but single moms, tacky loose women, women with tattoos, kids from different dads, etc, get more offers than you. Disgraceful.

Well ironically, I'm actually coupled myself, but thinking about the fact that I'm not, and never have been, sought after, pains me.

Ladies and gents, if you have a socially limiting condition like AS or autism, is not being popular with the opposite sex just our cross to bear?

:cry:

If I was you I wouldn't be complaining. I can't remember the last time I got asked out. Maybe 10 years ago?
Some guys here have never had any interaction with a woman. Being asked out 2 times is a chance. And it's not abnormal not to be approached by men either.

Women get a lot of messages on dating sites. If you are truly concerned about this you should join a few. Guys have little success on them.

Sniffletouille
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30 Aug 2011, 2:25 am

Introducing yourself to the opposite sex can be an challenge. However, the bigger challenge is to avoid doing or saying something that would be socially awkward (or misreading body language or speech, whichever ends the interaction sooner).

TB
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30 Aug 2011, 3:25 am

What do you think about asking men out yourself ?. How many men have you asked out ?.
If you could be one of the few women that take action themselves the shy guys will love you for it.

Molecular_Biologist
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30 Aug 2011, 3:45 am

MarketAndChurch wrote:

being different is our cross to bare with all the negative aspects of it but we don't have to bare that cross alone. I wish aspie-affection was more affective.

I wonder if that site is doing more harm than good.

It is thoroughly broken, and people see what a sorry state that it is in and think perhaps wrongly that there is no demand for a matchmaking service for such individuals. There is potential with that idea, but it can never be realized with such a horribly bad implementation.

Synecdoche
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30 Aug 2011, 3:49 am

Smile a lot more. You'll find yourself to be more likeable that way.

SadAspy
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30 Aug 2011, 9:34 am

hale_bopp wrote:

Women get a lot of messages on dating sites. If you are truly concerned about this you should join a few. Guys have little success on them.

For once, you've said something that's spot-on. Dating sites are a sausagefest.....at least for younger (under 30) men.

mv
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30 Aug 2011, 9:41 am

TB wrote:

What do you think about asking men out yourself ?. How many men have you asked out ?.
If you could be one of the few women that take action themselves the shy guys will love you for it.

Yes, I was about to say just this: radical idea, YOU ask them out!

hale_bopp
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30 Aug 2011, 9:44 am

I'm beginning to wonder if this is supposed to be some sort of joke. She said in another thread she has a fiance.
Nevermind.. that was two months ago. They make have broken up.

Grisha
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30 Aug 2011, 9:59 am

hale_bopp wrote:

I'm beginning to wonder if this is supposed to be some sort of joke. She said in another thread she has a fiance.
Nevermind.. that was two months ago. They make have broken up.

The OP stated that she was presently "coupled" - I was a little confused by that too...

The_Face_of_Boo
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