Test subjects, I mean guinea pigs, I mean parents needed...

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Hello all, and welcome to my 1000th post.

*launches fireworks*

I figured that I should do something special with my 1000th post, but nothing terribly interesting came to mind. So, I figured I would just release a sneak peak of my new book. Unfortunately, it is no where near completion, but I do have some questions for those who have the time. I am still working on the other chapters, but I am having a good bit of difficulty with chapter 1. I want it to set a good tone for the rest of the book, and I don't think I did that terribly well with version one. I was somewhat rambling and preachy, and I am trying to cut back on that.

However, at the same time I am trying to make my book somewhat 'emotionally appealing', for lack of a better phrase, because often times parents are very emotional when dealing with autism, and you need an emotional appeal to deal with an emotional person. Unfortunately, I am having difficulty making the first chapter be emotionally appealing without also making it seem preachy.

I tossed out the introduction chapter and combined the two together. I also added some more information, and well you can read it to see the rest of the changes. So, anyways, if you have the spare time, and would like to help out, then please read the first chapter and let me know what you think. I know the ending isn't done yet, but I can't really fix that till I am happy with the rest. Any feedback or input you can give regarding whether you like the new version, or what you don't like, what you would change, etc. would be helpful. Either leave a response in this thread, or send me a PM if you would prefer.

Here is the link:
Clicky here

You misspelled the word cease as seize at the top of page 8 in the line "cannot seize to be autistic."and father as farther on page 9 in the line "while the farther is in denial that there is anything wrong". I really like the book though.

Love the first 3 pages! You've got the tone just right. When you introduce yourself as an adult and mention that you are working as an engineer, I would like to know roughly how old you are -- late 20's, mid-30's, 40's, etc.

Downloaded....will read it later on tonight when I have time to sit and think!

You have some very important things to say, but I feel like some of them get lost right away. The first part feels like I'm being lectured to instead of offered advice. Does that make sense? If this is geared towards parents who are new to coping with autism, it might seem a bit abrasive. You may lose them right away because they are going to be put on the defense. I understand your points on fear, but to a parent having a non-parent tell them not to be scared may come off the wrong way. There is probably a different approach to take that may ease the parent into it better. Although telling someone not to be depressed or scared usually doesn't work....I'm not sure how much you can change a person's reaction. The best you can do is to show them the option of acceptance and show them how they are completely capable of taking on future challenges. Maybe talk about how each person reacts differently, but how parents who learn acceptance ultimately see better results. Maybe like...You may be feeling this way, which many parents do, but by the end of this book I will help give you the tools to deal with these feeling and emotions. I think empathizing first, then offering your perspective may be a more effective way to reach your reader. I don't know...just something to think about. Maybe

I think first, you need to introduce yourself and talk about your own experience as a person with autism. Making that emotional/real person connection will give you more "credibility" as you get into your guidance. Maybe a paragraph about what it was like to grow up with undiagnosed autism, and how you are now. Then I think it would be very important to talk about how you are able to bridge the gap between parent and child to help them understand their children better. You need to state up front that the purpose of the book is to help them create the best possible relationship with their child, which will in turn be beneficial to both parent and child. This line "but primarily this book is written with the purpose of helping you to understand your child so that you will be able to figure out the solutions for yourself" seems to be the main topic that you are going to be talking about, so starting with that might help the parent understand your perspective and intentions. You seem like you don't want to talk about yourself, however I think being able to tie topics back to your own stories helps ground the idea and bring the reader closer to you at the same time.

Maybe a quick paragraph about WHY you use analogies throughout. Parents need to understand that it is difficult to explain what it is like to be autistic to someone who is not, and that analogies provide the best connections for explaining that experience. Some of the analogies are a little lengthy...I think you may be able to more concisely make your point on some of them. I do think they help illuminate things for NTs though.

For priorities you touch on "then you will have to address each of the four areas: stress management, communication, executive function, and effective socializing. " To me these are main things that should get a little more attention/explanation.....maybe a brief overview of why those four, etc.

These are just my thoughts. I look forward to reading more!!

'straight', not 'strait'


Personally, I really like it, but I'm not a parent so I can't say how parents might react.

I thought it was really helpful to know your background; I like your style of writing (but, then, I'm somewhere on the spectrum myself - so I can't say how NTs will react...though most of your target market is going to at least have some genes in your favor.)

I think it is fine the way it is, but ideally, you need to team up with an editor, and I'm not sure how. My inclination is that it needs a second set of (NT) eyes to go over it and make some cuts.

Hello again,

For starters, thanks for pointing out the spelling errors, but I am not quiet to that point yet. As I am still adding and removing entire pages, it seems odd to worry about properly spelled words that may or may not be in the document tomorrow. Plus, if spell checker/grammar checker doesn't spot them, then I have absolutely no idea that they are there. English is not my strong suit.

As for the other stuff:
To those who said they would like to know more about me. Is there anything in particular you would like to know? I addressed this in my first version of the book with the introduction chapter, but I felt that it was somewhat long, rambling, and also a bit preachy/tad creepy. If I were to add an 'about the author' chapter before the book, would that be what your looking for? And what sort of information would you be interested in?

I also talked briefly about my past and why I am writing the book in the first few pages, did this not seem sufficient? What more is it that you would like me to write about?

As for SC's comments, I agree that adding a paragraph or two up front to page 1 about what this book is about in summary would probably be a good idea. Just a short intro to the intro, which would then be expanded upon by the rest of the chapter. It could cover things like:

-autism not evil
-understanding is good
-this book is intended to help you understand
-analogies help understanding

Anything else you would add to that list?

And yes, I do plan to expand those 4 areas when I further discuss priorities, I just haven't gotten there yet. Also, I am thinking that 'emotional management' might be a better term then 'stress management', because there is more going on than just stress.


P.S. Callista has expressed interest in editing when the time comes, so hopefully she will be able to catch some of the errors.

I have ideas! I will write them later when I have time

I wish I had time ... I'm so far underwater I shouldn't be coming on the forum at all I do wish you the best of luck, however, and hope to some day see the surface again. When I do, I'll be reading!

Cool, take your time. I would prefer good responses rather than fast ones Btw, I thought you might like my new title, it goes along with the Wrong planet bird/dinosaur theme pretty well (^_^).

Anyways, if anybody else has any input, feel free to let me know.

I have enjoyed reading the link you provided. Very well written and it makes perfect sense. As a father of an autistic daughter it already gave me some information and made me realise certain things. Thanks for posting and if you need any proof reading for the whole book or other parts, you have a volunteer.\


by the way, i like the "be rational, get real" logo. (i am an engineer too)

Thanks, if you want to read more, then check out the link in my signature. I have actually written this book before and put it up for download. I am just going through and re-writing it because I want to improve on the current version (which is available for download at ASDstuff.com) So, yeah, if you want to review version 1 and let me know what you think, that would be appreciated. That helps me when going through and re-writing.

Your book should be compulsory reading for all parents of kids with AS.

I read your book (1st version) some months ago. It is without a doubt one of the best (if not best) books on the subject. I agree with almost everything you say, although I am not sure that I would have done when I first found out about AS. You are absolutely correct that the key is understanding (and acceptance) - and that means really understanding. I was guilty of many of the issues you raise in your book:

i) I wanted to find a cure for her
ii) I wanted her to change
iii) I had unrealistic/unnecessary expectations of her

I think my outlook and attitude is now far more in-line with that recommended in your book. Although I am not perfect and still lapse.

My (AS) daughter is 22 and at University (living away from home). Does she still have problems - yes (some). Is she happy? - for the most part, I think so. Does she have lots of friends? - no - but she has some and is happy with that. Do I still worry about her? - of course.

I have read your new opening chapters and they read fine to me - I think the problem is not the tone of the chapters - it is whether the reader is ready to accept the truths therein.

Tracker, I think you are the cat's meow. I loved your first book and am truly looking forward to finding usable insight in the second.
I have NO problem accepting "differentness" (in fact everyone I have told about this website, thinks it is about them. Even THE MOST NT person out there has often felt like an outsider and an outcast), my concerns are about my daughter's seeming uneasiness: discontent, restlessness, irritation, anger, uncertainty, loneliness.
Nothin' like being an old hippie to be convinced that each should "march to the music which he hears, however measured or far away," but, MAN! - we need to ENJOY the march.
Add to the mix her being 19, the age for which ANYthing suggested by the mother HAS GOT to be wrong, and the fear she is experience at this important crossroads in life (having to choose her University course of study)... and I can only obey when she lashes out at me to "LEAVE HERE ALONE!! !"
I WISH she would stumble on this website...to feel less alone, to understand her own feelings, to learn about interacting with the world in a way that will achieve the results she desires... I am afraid to be the one to suggest it to her, afraid it could stir up wrath and resentment and denial...
anyhoo,
keep us posted about when it is finished, and thanks!
Celebrate

Tracker, is this a new book or a re-writing of the original? I wouldn't worry about trying to be emotionally appealing. Your writing both in your book and on Wrongplanet calms my fears. You give us explanations to how our kids think. That nest analogy is the best! Each AS child is very different and yet so much of what you write applies to many of us. To me, it's your clear explanations and analogies that cut through our emotions and is appealing. But when you are trying to be emotionally appealing, you get long winded and it's not necessary.

I'll write more when I get a chance to read your new stuff.