Sat. night........

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......don't really need to say anything.....I feel like the biggest loser in the world.

I can honestly say that right now, I really have no friends anymore. I used to have a few, but we are not friends anymore and nobody calls me. I always call other people, chat, say hi, they are busy blah blah next time, and I only call them so many times, because they don't call me again................and thats that.........I might never speak to them again.

The other friends I that I hung out with often, ended up being douchebag losers. I enjoyed hanging out with them, and I never put them down, but they instead didn't see me with the same respect that I saw them. f**k them. Honestly they both acted like little boys, and I ended up being the mature one on many occasions, which really does't make sense. I don't care how lonely I am I don't want to hang with some idiots.

But yeah I have no energy right now. I live in a party college area-ish. There are bars downtown. There are some house parties here and there, but I feel stuck. Most of the parties you have to know someone, or at least be with a group to pull off walking in. Bars on Sat night are completely hellishly crowded and I just cant deal with that..........yeah another waste of a weekend

[quote="lightening020"]......don't really need to say anything.....I feel like the biggest loser in the world.

I can honestly say that right now, I really have no friends anymore. I used to have a few, but we are not friends anymore and nobody calls me. I always call other people, chat, say hi, they are busy blah blah next time, and I only call them so many times, because they don't call me again................and thats that.........I might never speak to them again.

The other friends I that I hung out with often, ended up being douchebag losers. I enjoyed hanging out with them, and I never put them down, but they instead didn't see me with the same respect that I saw them. f**k them. Honestly they both acted like little boys, and I ended up being the mature one on many occasions, which really does't make sense. I don't care how lonely I am I don't want to hang with some idiots.

But yeah I have no energy right now. I live in a party college area-ish. There are bars downtown. There are some house parties here and there, but I feel stuck. Most of the parties you have to know someone, or at least be with a group to pull off walking in. Bars on Sat night are completely hellishly crowded and I just cant deal with that..........yeah another waste of a weekend[/quote]

Yep...I pretty much agree.

Yep me too. All my 'friends' now dislike / avoid / never have time for me.

Honestly, people are overrated.

Ohhh and about going alone to a bar, not so bad.
I was meeting some friends at a bar once, they didn't get in and I didn't have any reception. So I stayed most of the night waiting to see when they would show up, thinking they were running late, it was fun. People are really friendly if you look annoyed / stood up / like you are waiting for someone. Never have I met so many random nice people, ended up being a very fun night.

and now I hear drunken people in the distance.....typical moronic drunken behavior.

On one hand, I kind of want to join, on the other hand I am disgusted.

Where is my life?

I stooped to the level of the "typical moronic drunken behavior",
which to me felt analogous to 'selling-out'.
I crashed house parties with large enuf crowds to mitigate my conspicuous-ness.
Conversations were futile or insipid, either from the high-volume music
or lack of reciprocated mental exertion on their part, respectively.
The temporary euphoria coupled with bubbly illusions of "friendship" gave me
motivation to keep going to these parties and drinking.

I am still not sure whether this trade of dignity for temporary happiness was worth it,
but I look more fondly on the nights I spent working on my own things (sober).

Even in my current circle of "friends" (with whom i drink very little)
they never tell me about parties. I only discover them by asking specifically each time,
which suggests that my relationship with them is somehow ... parasitic.
I don't know why they tolerate me but refuse to welcome me (as I welcome them).

Yeah, the whole drinking/partying scene is rather over-rated. And, potentially dangerous, too. (Actually, I'm sitting here trying to type with my right arm in a sling after being rear-ended, when some guy decided to drive drunk on Friday). I never understood the appeal, but that's me.

I hardly ever do anything. my social life consists of message boards, game night with my parents and my aunt and uncle, and college football with the same people. whenever we have any other kind of get-together (I live with my parents) I end up sitting in front of the computer until they leave. I don't know why I have become comfortable enough around my aunt and uncle, who I wasn't close with until about 2.5 years ago, to act like myself. but it is nice that I have at least message boards and some family I feel comfortable around. but going out in real life, no way. I hate being around people. so, in other words, I feel ya.

I feel that you can never be truly happy, till you find that special someone. I should know, because I'm still looking and it's twice as hard when you have Asperger's. When you tell people that you have autism, especially asperger's, people just feel sorry for you. I don't want people to feel sorry, i want people who can see me for what I am, that is a nice polite man, who wants to feel loved.