Ladies, Your First Time? (Virginity)

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This may be adult, but this is a forum for women, so I trust that this isn't too mature, as I wish to hear from other females, strictly.

My good friend and I have started getting physical. It is both very exciting and nerve-wracking, but I'm glad to be sharing these firsts with a friend, because he is very patient and understanding. Actually, he is a sweetheart. Even a slight nervous laugh makes him stop to see if I'm okay. We have yet to touch each other below-the-belt.

I am curious as to what it's like, physically and emotionally, for sexually active women with Asperger's and autism. This includes oral sex and fondling, both giving and receiving, as these are two things we have yet to try.

So, in short, what was it like for you?

painful.....invasive. Took me years to get any enjoyment from sex - anxiety medication really messed with my head. Most of the time now I get cystitis after sex - I'm just not designed well

It depends. My first time included assult. It wasn't rape but I felt assulted during it for reasons I will not name.

It was the most horrible experience ever. I wasn't desperate to have sex again. I however lost it properly at 24.

I can't say It's something I'd care if I ever get again. Because of my OCD and paranoia it ruins my experience anyway.

I struggle to cope in a world that is so sex obsessed.

i choose my first consensual time as when i "lost" my virginity.
anyway, i was drunk, don't overly remember.
just something i wanted to do to claim my body back as my own.

now with someone i love, it's fantastic.

i honestly wish i saved my first real time for someone who at least liked me.

I was 19, we laughed a lot because we didn't know how to do it but it was not memorable.

My first time was emotionally very beautiful but physically a bit awkward because he was drunk...

It's indeed painful. Well, for most women it seems to be. And invasive, well, I'm leaning towards it feeling "intrusive" but I guess they kind of mean the same thing. My first time was with my current boyfriend. It was his first time as well. He kept asking me if it hurt and kept making sure I was okay. We had actually attempted it a few times before but failed, for reasons I will not mention, lol. We both wanted to try it though. I had to actually kind of lie to him, saying that it didn't hurt when it did, because he was worried about me so much that it prevented him from errr, you know... but despite all his attempts to make me feel absolutely fine it still felt kind of intrusive.

Once you get used to it it's kind of nice. The physical feeling itself isn't all that amazing but there's a certain feeling of... how to call it? It's like you get some sort of special connection. Well, if you do it with the person you love and when you feel ready for it, of course. In my opinion, it's nicer when it gets faster (after the pain is as good as gone, that is). Masturbation feels better physically, but you don't get the same connection with someone as when you're actually having sex. It's strangely addicting as well, so I can see why there's so much porn out there, hehe.

I can understand why guys don't have as many "problems" with having sex as girls do. For them, it probably doesn't feel intrusive at all. It probably just feels nice. I, being bisexual, wouldn't mind having sex with a stranger as long as that stranger is female (if I were single!). When it comes to guys, however, I would probably feel abused or something like that if I had sex with them without having a personal connection. If you think it'd be the same for you, I'd advise you not to rush into anything, and make sure the guy in this particular case is a "good" one, one that cares about you and your feelings. The last thing you want to feel like after having had sex is to feel like you've been taken advantage of, I reckon.

I might be the anomaly on this forum, but I absolutely love sex. I lost my virginity the day before my 15th birthday with my first boyfriend who was also a virgin. I was keen to get rid of my virginity and actually had been wanting to have sex for years even though I knew that would be inappropriate. That first time certainly wasn't spectacular. I can't say I really felt much of anything to be honest. It was a little uncomfortable, I guess, but I wouldn't say it hurt exactly. After the first time, I haven't had any discomfort. I guess I'm posting this so that you won't just assume it will be bad. It sounds like you've got a good partner so just take it easy and do things when you're ready.

Couldnt walk for weeks. Was really painful

Is it rather like having a carrot being forced up there?

The first time I did it I was 16 and so was my boyfriend. Were both 20 now and are soon going to be parents. I thought it was great the first time we did it, but as you can see, it's different for everyone.

I was 19 with my BF. The fondling was great but the sex was meh. It wasn't uncomfortable just rather very quick and things didn't sync until about the third time. It get better if you allow yourself to enjoy it and maybe even have an orgasms or two. But just being intimate is great too. Just take your time. Use lots of lube and birth control. Make sure no one will disturb you and let the good times roll.

My first time was dull.

I was 15/16 and it was with my first serious boyfriend, we'd been together two months by then.
It was in my bedroom and on my bed, we had just been hanging out together and I suggested to him that we have sex as I knew it was inevitable anyway - it wasn't about getting it out of the way, I just decided to get on with it. There was no foreplay, I don't tend to deal well with the intimacy so foreplay is something I enjoy at the start of a relationship but not later on, but the first time the idea of foreplay just didn't occur to me. It was awkward as sex with any new partner can be, not very fluid, but also boring because it wasn't as I had expected. I had expected it to be like on TV or like masturbation only a million times better, so I was disappointed (this lead to sexual abuse later on in the relationship, but that's another story). He was on top so I got very little out of it, and he was a big guy so that as well as being on a single bed made it uncomfortable. I just remember thinking that I wish he'd hurry up so he'd get off me.

It got better, but sex only started to live up to expectations later on with other partners - in retrospect he wasn't a great lover.

It shouldn't be painful, pain tends to come from nerves or a lack of arousal, unfortunately many women think pain the first time is normal so tolerate it or tolerate it to please their partner, which is sad as all women at least deserve pain-free safe sex...if not pleasurable sex.

First I want to say I do not like the expression about the event - "losing" something. As you can guess that means I'm the lucky one who finds sex totally enjoyable.
At my first time I was 20 years old. The guy was much older, confident and just reasonably concerned about my wellbeing, so it went silently and without need to laugh away the uncomfortness. I totally liked and was in love with him too.

Well, a point that popped into my head reading this topic: I think the experience and your future attitude to sex will certainly be better if you can have sex with the same person on a regular basis from then on (at least for some time). The first time might not be impressive, but probably on third, fifth or 20-th time when expectations have become more realistic, at one moment they will be exceeded. But if it was just the one try, it might leave you feeling like "that's it? it's not worth the hassle". The first time is not the whole truth.
I think "getting it off and past" with anyone in an one night stand is a bad strategy for starting fulfilling sexual life. Although I know how urgent it can feel - I felt it til my 20nth year : )

So make sure the person is one that will like your company even after the first sex is over and maybe was boring or nervous or anything. And company of whom you will still like after that.

I was 21 at the time and I simply wanted my virginity gone. So I joined a dating community online and put up a profile, eventually a guy contacted me and he seemed nice enough so I kept talking to him for maybe 2 weeks. Eventually I agreed to meet up with him to have sex. As I look back, it was all pretty risky. I didn't tell anybody where I was going so it could have ended badly, it didn't though. I also shared my first kiss with this guy. But this was about the sex, it didn't hurt at all actually. It was however a bit uncomfortable and since i couldn't relax I didn't enjoy it at all.

I still have the problem with anxiety during sex. Nowadays I have a boyfriend, he's nice and all but I can't relax. It is annoying.

And just to give a tip. Don't ever fake an orgasm, I have, and it's hard to explain that believe me. If you're anxious or tense, say so