Should we tell the school he's an Aspie?

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We previously begged and scraped, hired a lawyer and brought in a brigade of our own experts to prove that my son needed an IEP, 504 or some sort of help in school. They denied him everything and said he's too high functioning.

Fast forward, new school, new district due to a move. And my son needs the help more than ever. Two different teachers have said he should see the school counselor. I can see that he's extremely disregulated. Do we tell the school that he's an Aspie or should we keep it to ourselves? I don't believe he'll get any help honestly. He's getting lots of private services (the money isn't the issue). I'm just concerned that he may not be able to get through the school day without some intervention during the day.

My fear is that we'll lay our souls bare again and they'll poke and prod and test everything about my son AGAIN just to decide that he doesn't qualify for any help.

What do you guys think?

Was the last assessment provided in writing? Rather than simply a diagnosis, did it have results on a number of tests? Did someone knowledgeable interpret them?
More importantly, what is your hunch? It sounds like you're pretty sure he is HFA or Asperger's, and that he needs support to succeed.
I'd say if he is struggling in school, the only way you'll get services is to have an official dx. See if there's an autism support group locally and find out which psychologist / physician they recommend. Or go through the school, which might be less costly or free.
You might not get services, but you certainly won't get them without going through some assessment, especially if the school is suggesting it.
J.

Hire an advocate (sometimes called an education consultant if they have a certificate instead of a law degree.) They'll be able to advise you on what private testing to get done, and will help you fight for the services your son needs.

I should've been clearer. He's been diagnosed by a psychologist with Asperger's, GAD, and social phobia. He currently sees a psychiatrist regularly for meds mgmt and sees a psychologist weekly who specializes in autism.

The question is do I put my kiddo through the gauntlet of tests again on the off-chance that they offer him some help, or do I just keep getting him help myself. Obviously I don't trust the school system, but my child is really struggling during his school day.

Please tell them. If it's affecting his school work, they can't deny him services.

If money is not an issue why are you even trying to get a public school to help ? Goto a private school they will help.

In that case, tell them. You cannot get services from the school if you don't. He's struggling, and it sounds to me that they are aware of this and want to help.

J.

My son is in a private school, but that doesn't make a difference, because we don't have special education programs and free therapy in any goverment schools anyway.....

I wasn't sure if I should tell his teacher, but the scary part is...I realized...if you don't tell them what's going on, they are going to start 'diagnosing' him themselves, putting all kinds of labels around his neck. It would be unethical to retest him if he has been tested recently...just supply the written reports from previous testing.

Since my sons teacher knows whats going on....she heas been much more understanding and supportive towards my son....I'm glad his diagnosis is out in the open now!

If the teachers are trying to refer you to specialists, that means they see something. And if the teachers are willing to speak up when they see something, then odds are good that you are in a school that is willing to accommodate whatever that something turns out to be.

So, yes, I think you tell them that your son has, in fact, already gone through all that and you have a diagnosis you think fits.

I know it is hard to trust again and go through what is an intense and draining process, but I think you have a better shot this time and will regret it if you don't take it.

You need to tell them. The only way you can get help from the school is if they kow. I think you have more to win than to loose. And if they fail to provide help, then you move your kid out again, until you find the school that will help. Actually you should have told them in advance. I completely understand you. When we started this road, at the beginning I was also afraid of saying anything, because sometimes it just hurts so much, but now we will only put our daughter in a school which is aware of her condition and willing to provide the accomodations required. We just changed our daughter to a new school this year (the old school was not working academically), and we talked to them about the situation in advance, they interviewed and tested our daughter to make sure they were fit to the task, and THEN accepted her. She is doing great. All her teachers are aware she is Aspie (not the classmates), and they are patient and willing to help. I hope your kid's school will be willing to help, too. Good luck!

In that case, tell them. You cannot get services from the school if you don't. He's struggling, and it sounds to me that they are aware of this and want to help.

J.

There's a middle ground here. You could tell the teachers that he is seeing specialist XYZ, and invite them to discuss the issues he is having at school with that therapist. The teachers might then be the ones suggesting accomodations and/or pushing the IEP team for what he needs.

My guess is, the school has already seen that your son is "different". It's pretty hard to hide it. He might already be having some problems with students as well. I think the school should be able to work with you to meet his needs. Do you have him in occupational therapy for sensory issues? That could help with maybe during the day. Our son, who is now 20, wore a weighted vest during math time for several years in elementary school to keep him "grounded". He also had a "fidget box", little things he could play with to keep him focused. Maybe the OT could come to class for a bit and observe what is happening. Our son still carries around a "fidget" in his pocket. It's been a stone or a shell lately. It just helps him to be touching something sometimes.

I know just how you feel, but it sounds like your son needs help.

Could you not get the reports from the previous tests rather than having to repeat them all again?

Thanks guys - this was the push I needed. We have an appointment set up for Thursday to sit down with the school and discuss.

Have a good week all!

Good for you! I hope the meeting goes well.
J.