Just got a job.. line supervisor very condescending/negative

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I'm 31 and just got my first job, temporary until Christmas making Christmas cakes on a production line. If I was to not continue it would be because of the female line supervisor. Nothing is ever good enough, shouts across the factory at you and everyone else, always negative, talks down at people in a condescending manner. I find it difficult to understand what she says, which I think is due to the fact she is shouting and her unique voice, often made fun of behind her back by other employees. I know it should all be "water off a duck's back" so to speak, but my self confidence is already rock bottom. I wonder if she is targeting me more because I don't talk back, although her attitude is similar with everyone. The work itself I find rather physically demanding, being stood all day doing repetitive movements requiring some strength and I ache most of the time, but it's her that bothers me most.

The male supervisor is okay, and points out when something is wrong without shouting and talking down at you.

• Are you getting paid?
• Are the working conditions safe?
• Are your duties ethical, legal, and moral?
• Are the boss's words free from discriminatory and harassing language?
• Are the boss's actions non-threatening?

If you answered 'Yes' to all of these questions, then you either have the perfect job or you are lying through your teeth.

If you answered 'No' to one or more of these questions, then welcome to the work force.

My point is that if all you have to be concerned about is condescension and negativity, then you are luckier than most. But also, if yours is a seasonal or temporary position, then complaining is not likely to do you any good.

Yes, its definitely water off a duck's back.

People like her watch for reactions to pick their prey. So you'll want to keep your reaction somewhere between being too positive and too negative.

To stay employed, you will need to fulfill the requests and be accommodating. But you probably don't want to improve your work quality drastically and instantly (which is what an aspie might be tempted to do) each time somebody yells in your direction, because it could encourage more yelling and verbal abuse.

Watch what the best treated employees are doing, and try to copy.

It sounds like it is your boss who has the problem, not you. You says she "shouts across the factory at you and anyone else", so this is a good sign because from what you say it doesn't sound like she is just targeting you (although it may not feel that way).
It sounds like she is a moody b***h; you will meet many people like her and worse in your journey through the workplace (unfortunately enough).
Try to cultivate compassion for the idiot. She clearly has a lot of personal issues if she behaves in this way. Maybe she has a bad marriage and takes out her frustrations on the workers? Maybe she has a much-loved parent who is in very bad health and she hasn't got the emotional reserves to be nice. Maybe she is very stressed by her duties and is really in the wrong job and under the surface she is really trying to do her best but in reality knows she is rubbish and has acute anxiety every day because she is worried that people will find out she is bad at her job and she will be fired? Maybe she has degrees as long as her arm but has to take this job and is angry that she didn't amount to what her parents expected of her?
Sometimes there are many reasons behind people's actions that are hard to figure out.
It sounds like you are doing really well so far, and congrats on your first job as that is something to be really proud of!! ! )
Have you got interests you can focus on outside of work?
If so, try to think of the work as a "means to an end" and try not to let yourself get so emotionally involved that things that happen in your workplace weigh on your mind and upset you for some time afterwards,
And when she stresses at you, remember, it's only cakes. ) ) )
Peace and love x

I like this because this is more of a dynamic approach to the social situation. Esp the last part. You don't want to show up the fellow employees. You generally want to go at a medium pace, broadly the same pace as everyone else.

Prepare some standard responses in case she talks to you directly.
"Okay."
That's an awfully good one. Whatever she says, just say okay. Then do the part of it that is reasonable, or do it for a while during that part of the day.
"Alright"
Or, a simple head nod if she's yelling from a distance. The attitude that you're trying to be a good employee and that you realize she has a lot of stresses.

Of course she's a braying jackass and this is no way to treat people. Most likely she's stuck and doesn't know how to stop without losing face. And Mishmash has some good ideas as far as cutting her some slack, trying to look at the situation with buddhist compassion as it were. But that is sometimes easier said than done.

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I'm going to later lay out, Please continue to Dream Big. There is actually an inverse relationship between the status of the job and how hard it is. The better jobs are actually easier! This is worth saying, because a fair number of people out there in the world have the attitude 'can't even keep this job . . .' Well, a temp job under abusive conditions is actually among the harder jobs to keep. And of course there's a large quantity of luck with all of this.

I personally have pursued careers in arts, primarily writing, which are long shots whether people are on the spectrum or not.

I like the idea of a higher probability education route career, maybe learning and teaching microbiology in college.

I like the idea of starting a business out of my home or car. No initial overhead for rent and utilities. Fully cognizant of the fact that 80% of small businesses fail.

I tend to do well directly with customers, because I try, because I pay attention to what works and what doesn't, because I've learned not to overtry. I've done less well when there's some gatekeeper deciding whether I'm a good employee, which often comes down to deciding whether I'm 'normal' or not (no such thing as 'normal' anyway and how boring would it be if there were! ) So, I have thought about hairstyling or tattooing. Both have repeat business and word of mouth. And both have this interesting intermediate stage where you can rent a chair on the way to having your own business.

anewman, at age 31, you are still a young man. I really encourage you to branch out, both remember old dreams and be open to new ones. Skim autobiographies of various professionals and see what you think. Plenty of people have found success relatively late.

There is a method of half-quitting a job. It's an Ace. I think it's an Ace you should have.

'I'm not going to come into work today. There is a family situation I must take care of.'

And that's usually all you have to say. It is a lie, but I think it is an acceptable lie of deflection and self-defense. This works considerably better than the standard thing of calling in sick, although large quantity of luck both ways.

And you can use this more than once, on occasions of your own choosing. Sometimes just having this Ace makes the job more tolerable.

Don't overexplain. Pick a favorite cowboy or action hearing where talking less is a good thing.

'It's a family situation I have to take care of.'

And that's that.

('Family takes precedence. I like the job just fine, but family takes precedence.'), if needed

('No, I can't explain any more about it.'), if needed

It's not even close. And they will respect you for it.

And usually, all you have to say is the first thing. It is important not to overexplain.

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Again, this is half-quitting. The job may go away. But, between full quitting and this, I like having this available.

EXACTLY!! It's like the supervisor "crying wolf", if you know that she's going to berate others based on some trivial or non-existent blemish in the product, as much as she would for way-off deviations, then why panic and struggle to make it a work of art. NTs tend to intuitively grasp this but I agree, that an Aspie would tend to go into over-please mode (taking her cry-wolf comments literally, not reading between the lines that she's just being a big toddler) - lord knows that I used to be like that, and a recent boss I had was also negative and condescending, but I knew right off the bat that she was just a bitter beeyatch who'd "cry wolf" in an attempt to destabilize me. I avoided giving her the pleasure. Sometimes, you just have to put up with certain "people".

It reminds me a little of my own factory work experience.

I had a temporary gig at a factory once, which I didn't like very much. A factory environment is not one where I shine and it wasn't one where I really desired to stay. And the job was only temporary.

There was one of those "big toddlers" on my line who loved complaining. He was a senior employee but he wasn't in charge of the line. On our line, we mostly debugged and repaired equipment. But the company suddenly engaged us in a very repetitive and monotonous task. The managers were measuring our throughput to help them with predicting the cost and speed of relocating the same task from the United States to the Phillipines. The big toddler hated it.

I had a little fun at his expense. One time, he reported that we were making great headway and that for once we were pleasing the managers high up. In reply, I smiled and said "Well, the better we prove ourselves at doing this, the more likely this is to BE what we're going to be doing!". Then he started grousing again.

Well I did something very bad. I didn't have the heart to go into work, and I didn't call in either. I suppose it can't be rescued now, so won't bother trying.

You are very correct. I guess I just wasn't prepared for interactions of this kind, having only done voluntary work previously. I guess when it's voluntary they're grateful for you taking some of your time to come in and do something you're not paid to do - wouldn't dare talk down at you, and would praise and thank you for your work - because it's better than having nothing at all done. An employer who employs at minimum wage and is only interested in the maximum and best possible productivity/output is unlikely to ever do any of those things, unless they are enlightened and see that using those techniques increases yield. They probably don't care as job market as it is they can reel in hundreds with the offer of minimum wage.

I think most of her behaviour is because she wants to assert her position of dominance. She probably thinks this is the only manner in which to engage employees and get them to work faster and better, and also to gain approval of her bosses to make it look like she is doing something useful. Her bosses probably treat her in a somewhat similar manner, discretely so as to not undermine her apparent dominance. It reflects rather badly on her that if the only way she can do this is by nitpicking and shouting orders that people already know they should be doing and are already trying their best to do. She once shouted at everyone in general, "I won't say it again" after making a request - and then she did shout it again louder. Hmm, rather peculiar I thought - sounds more like she's trying to control an unruly toddler than motivate a work force.

Strangely the highlight of the job for me was interacting and talking with fellow employees - even if a couple did give the "you're quiet" jibes etc that I'm now used. I found it hard to take pride in the work I was doing in itself, even though I really wanted to. More-so when I was overstretched/tired towards the end of the day/expected to do 2 people's jobs at once.

I like that kind of thing, too. Even if the people are merely 'average' and don't like offbeat intellectual topics. Sometimes it's just good to see a familiar face. (And really, no such things as 'average' person anyway!)

Yes, sounds like this job is probably gone. In the future, try to call in later even that same day with some vague excuse (although I myself prefer the 'family situation' deflection). But if you don't have the energy, so be it, sometimes stuff happens. Just maybe play the hand a little differently in the future.

And yes, this lady definitely does sound like a first-rate jackass. Please don't let her sour you on future jobs. I'd say it's about a third or less of bosses who are this way. Overall, probably about 20% of jobs are unacceptable for one reason or another. A bunch of jobs are in the sloppy middle, that we can work with, and develop skills for making better. And maybe about 10 or 15% of jobs (and I wish it were higher!) are really good.

And volunteer work is of course a positive, too. And with a decent, non-energy-draining job, a person can sometimes do both.

I would be tempted to find another job if possible or else put up with it. I've worked for 2 years with a workplace bully. I didn't believe it was good to complain. Someone else did and she countered it with incompetence. It might have been better to try and leave earlier rather than be ground down over time. I felt low and like I didn't have the energy to leave and ended up crying a few times a week at work.