First, welcome to WrongPlanet. Now onto your list:
BloomingArtist wrote:
Okay, this is my first time here, and my first post here. I know this list of mine is going to be very detailed and long, but it's just the kind of things I like and don't like, and those are things I would like in a guy, if I had a boyfriend or non-online date. I don't know where to look for guys like me. So here is my list of things I like and things I don't like, and I would love to see if anyone knows where I can find a match without going for online dating, to look for a guy:
Likes:
1. a non-smoker guy.
What if he smokes only once in a while, and is a respectful smoker (i.e. smokes outside, doesn't leave cigarette butts lying around, keeps his hair and clothes clean so he doens't smell of smoke, etc). Yes, they are rare, but they do exist.
2. a guy who doesn't abuse drugs and/or alcohol.
What about a social drinker? If he enjoys the odd beer or a glass of wine - is this okay. Also, some people enjoy a drink and a cigarette once in a while (say three times per month). Would this be okay?
3. a guy who can do computer
graphics (2d and/or 3d) and/or
game programming.
I am going to guess, but this is probably something that you spend a lot of time with and want someone to share this interest. Understandable.
4. a guy who is nice, and clean
(both physically, and verbally).
Hygiene is nice. I guess you mean that you don't want someone who swears a lot. Is the odd cuss word that might escape from his lips okay?
5. A guy with any other hobbies like me,
including: growing a garden
(mostly tomatoes, basil, (my favorites!)), making
music on a computer using software to make it,
singing, drawing anime/manga and other types
of cartoons, baking (mostly desserts,
but meals are a plus!), 3d computer graphics,
2d computer graphics, working out to stay fit.
You've already mentioned the computer graphics thing. Sometimes, it is nice for people to to complimentary interests. You might enjoy gardening, but he might enjoy painting. He could paint a picture of you tending your garden. You like baking - he might like cooking - then you could make a nice meal together. He might enjoy some other things - such as golf or bowling - and he could do these things by himself and then spend time with you doing shared interests (such as the computer stuff).
6. A strong, fit guy.
I am going to assume that you are a strong, fit, person yourself who likes to spend time at the gym or otherwise staying in shape. Maybe you can go to the gym together? If you are not a strong, fit person yourself, then you might want to loosen up on this standard.
7. a guy who understands people with
disabilities, and issues.
8. a guy who doesn't mind being flirty, and kissing.
Dislikes:
1. a guy who has dogs. (I have cats and prefer them over messy dogs that you must walk with every day).
2. a mean guy (swearing badly, hurting others/me, abusing in any other ways, having more than one relationship at once).
Remember - when you are casually dating - it is perfectly okay to see other people. Some people prefer to have a monogamous relationship once there relationship becomes more cemented. You might scare some guy off if you except exclusivity after one date. Don't get me wrong - maintain your standards - but take the time to get to know someone in a dating relationship (not necessarily having sex with him) and give both you and him room to see others as well. If you find yourselves wanting to be with eachother because you enjoy eachothers company - then start talking about exclusivity.
Note - as you can see, my "Dislikes" list is shorter than the "Likes" list. I have a lot of interests, and I think that would open me up to more possible men, although, my main focus is computer graphics, both 2d and 3d.
Please, can someone offer suggestions to what kinds of places I could find a nice single guy, in a town-like area, not a big city.
I want a relationship that I can keep with a guy, and I would like to know ways to find a guy that can relate to me.
It would be amazing if I found a single guy who can fit into all the items on my likes and dislikes lists all at once. Yes, that would be the ultimate guy for me.
I don't only have a high-functioning Autisim spectrum disorder, I have severe anxiety and depression, and touretts syndrome.
I agree with other people responding - go to computer stores, comic book shops, try specific Asperger dating sites (I think there is one attached to WrongPlanet), go to workshops, continuing education in areas that interest you. The nice thing about workshops, conventions and continuing education is that you will meet people (both male and female) who share interests and with whom you can develop friendships, networks, etc. But, even if you don't meet anyone "special" - you will still benefit from learning new things about subjects that interest you. This will help make you a more interesting person (ergo more "attractive" to your dream guy - wherever he may be).