2 months ago at this point I was depressed, lazy, and sitting in my parent's basement after graduating college feeling sorry for myself because I couldn't get a job and felt like I had no social skills or interaction ability. My first few posts on here I feel like reflected that lack of hope. I applied to some temp agencies fishing around for jobs, and took a job at a call center on a whim. I wasn't expecting much, but working around a lot of females as a male was the primary factor in lifting my head out of my ass when it came to the world. Girls want to be met, I just cant do it at bars, too much high pressure of a meeting place. I got to know the girls over time around me, and discovered they liked me for me, despite my inconsistent moods, suggestability, ADD showing up at times, borderline alcoholism and stimulant drug abuse, and general inconsistencies. I now feel good with where I am, it wasn't what I thought I'd be doing at this point after school, but I've almost made enough to move out and start my own life, have met a girlfriend through the job that I really really like after questioning whether I could connect or meet someone new ever again with my self image issues, made other new friends, and can't say enough how taking 100 phone calls per day, even with a general script, has improved my social skills and eased my nervousness in group contexts.
So moral of the story, if I can go from nothing to a modest life that suits my happiness needs and that is still getting better, you can, because I spent months and months avoiding contact and shutting myself off from everyone but my mom. The best way I see to feel more comfortable in your skin is to have a group support structure of people that stay consistent with you and that you can tell you like you for who you are, however different you are. You have to get out in the world and suck it up, it was so hard for me, but I'm better for it. Anyone that was like me, in a real bad place questioning basic things in life, keep plugging. Find a situation you can be happy in. Materiality is a creation of a media driven shallow culture, and I no longer feel like I need to friviolously buy tokens of worth to justify my success.
I hope someone reads this and can see there's a way out of a hole if you're in one. You can create a good world for yourself.
16 Sep 2011, 4:20 am
